Reflections through raindrops
by Redemption Moon
Summary: The end is near... how prophetic ... Whoooo... What will it take for Schuldich Schwarz, renowned jaded photographer to open his eyes ? Love perhaps ? SxK, KxS take it however you like it Better than summary
1. Alone on New Year's Eve

New year's . It was New Year's Eve , and here he was , in his office , working his ass off to meet a deadline .  
  
The few people who had come to work that day had already gone home to spend time with their families - and that was hours ago ; which was why his floor was deserted save for him , and the guard guarding the entrance on the ground floor .  
  
All he wanted was to drive back to his empty condo , take a long hot shower , drink a beer and collapse in his soft bed .  
  
He would have gone home to do his work too , but he had decided against it , realizing that the moment he caught sight of his bed , he would collapse and sleep until noon the next day - and miss his deadline early the next morning .  
  
He would have nothing to show to the editor of his magazine if he did just that , and though the man was a close friend - Yohji was as close as it gets - he didn't want to embarrass himself because of his irresponsibility .  
  
He rubbed his eyes and leaned back against the office chair , waiting for the images to appear on the paper , waiting for the images to emerge under the layer of chemicals .  
  
Perfect .  
  
He watched as the profile of a known model etched itself like magic on the paper , and waited for a few more moments , for the perfect moment to remove the photograph to keep it from being too exposed .  
  
"Aha !" He muttered triumphantly , snatching the paper , pinning it up on the line to dry . Finally , the last of the negatives had been developed ; and they weren't half as bad as he expected .  
  
He swallowed his impatience as the gloss sheened over and the picture was almost through .  
  
" Che ." He glared at the image of the model , flouncing on a blindingly white table , advertising a new brand of perfume as if it were her fault that he was stuck spending new year's eve in the dark room of his building .  
  
He hated his job ... but it wasn't his fault that he was good at it .  
  
He was so good that there was no one , absolutely no one , who had never seen at least one of his works .  
  
They were everywhere , all the top brands of all the top products , and his name was always printed under them , because those companies were proud that he had done the pictures for them . His name could guarantee the popularity of the product . It was that simple .  
  
Yes .  
  
The name Schuldich Schwarz was more than popular . It was tremendous .  
  
" Damn !" He bit back a sigh when he noticed that one of his prints was underexposed , and the lighting was all wrong for the image .  
  
Now he had to do that one all over again ... and he had a new project to start on tomorrow .  
  
God hated him . He hated his job . Everyone hated his guts .  
  
Life was absolutely beautiful .  
  
- - - 


	2. It just happened to be

Chapter 1 : " It just happened to be "  
  
Schuldich woke up with a start , in the middle of a dream about his bed and a beer to see his editor , Yohji Kudou grinning down at him .  
  
Damn . He had fallen asleep on his desk , with the envelope full of his new prints on the table .  
  
Yup , Schuldich Schwarz had spent a miserable New Year's Eve sleeping on his desk , without the hot shower , without his warm bed , and without his cold beer .  
  
" You look like hell , man ." Yohji teased .  
  
The blonde was towering over him , in his fresh clothes , freshly shaven and looking like he had the best night of his life . Schuldich almost envied the bastard .  
  
" Thanks ." He muttered , tossing the manila envelope at Yohji . " I'd say you look a bit chipper today , Kudou . You got yourself laid or somethin'?"  
  
Yohji grinned and tossed his long blond hair behind him . " You bet your ass I did . So would you if you had scored last night ."  
  
" You don't mean you had gotten that redhead you've been after into your bed ?" He scoffed . Yohji was a ladies man , but that particular conquest was evidently out of his league , or so he had thought when the lady dissed Kudou the week before .  
  
" You got it man . And she was a tigress in bed too . Rowr !" Yohji laughed as he scanned the prints , his smile getting bigger by the second . " I can see your sexless night had been productive . These are ... hmm , I guess all right ." he said as he examined the last of the photos , pretending to be a little disappointed .  
  
" Well , that's what you get for having a crummy editor who spends his nights having sex while his number one photographer is busting his ass for a deadline ." Schuldich said darkly , he got to his feet with a feral yawn and stretched lazily .  
  
" Why don't you run along man , I can take it from here . Hey , don't even bother with the soccer ad today . Just get some rest ." He meant it too . Schuldich might be a prick and a prima Donna at times , but he was a great friend , and he was the best photographer around .  
  
The redhead grabbed his camera from the table , it expensive lens banging loudly against the edge ." Yeah , thanks ."  
  
" Hey , watch it ! That lens cost me an arm and a leg ." Yohji wrinkled his nose in distaste . " Take a bath before you crash man . I wouldn't want you showing up for dinner tonight smelling like that ."  
  
" Of course , mother ." An extremely grumpy Schuldich stalked out into the waiting elevator , leaving a lone Yohji laughing in the middle of the empty office behind him .  
  
- - -  
  
Snow had stopped falling the night before , leaving the streets knee-deep in the white blanket . Even his Beemer was having trouble wading through the damned stuff . It was just purely irrational .  
  
He turned the heater up and listened to the faint strains of music emanating from his radio , this was turning out to be one hell of a day , and it hasn't even started yet .  
  
Without warning , the black Beemer's engine sputtered and died right in the middle of the street .  
  
Cursing , he jumped out of the vehicle and snapped the hood open , gritting his teeth and anger . The engine glared back at him , smoke rising from its innards like a lazy chimney .  
  
How could the thing overheat in this weather ?!  
  
He bit back the urge to shout curses , to preserve his dignity from the none-too-sympathetic passersby .  
  
Damn .  
  
He slammed the hood shut and looked around the place , his eyes murderous , slitted like a hungry bird of prey .  
  
Thankfully , he recognized the place , he was just a few blocks away from his condo building , just through the other side of the park .  
  
He narrowed his eyes , and pulled his black coat closer , the strap of the camera chafed against the nape of his neck , barely keeping his savage snarling and cursing in check .  
  
No one , not the dumbest person on the face of the planet could miss that he was dead pissed .  
  
He rubbed the stubble of a beard roughly as he stalked through the snow- covered park , glad that it was deserted . He didn't know what he could do if another person just as much breathed his way .  
  
Schuldich was almost past the center of the park , still fuming . He couldn't wait to reach his place and crash in bed .  
  
It was then he heard a faint noise .  
  
Thump . Bam ! Thump . Bam ! Thump . Bam !  
  
It was coming from behind the statue of George Washington rearing up on a horse .  
  
Funny , he didn't notice any movement before . Despite himself , his curiousity got the better of him and he stalked off to investigate the source of the sound .  
  
Thump . Bam !  
  
He arched a red brow when he caught sight of a boy , a teen of about eighteen or nineteen kicking a soccer ball against the base of the effigy .  
  
Thump . Bam !  
  
The boy was so engrossed with his activity that he wasn't aware of the redhead approaching towards his direction .  
  
Schuldich studied the boy carefully , his keen eyes taking every detail with professional precision . Years of being a photographer taught him never to take anything at face value .  
  
The boy was handsome . More than handsome - he was perfect .  
  
His face had an innocent quality so uncommon to kids nowadays , he had an honest look , one that you feel drawn to trust him with anything , even your security number .  
  
His thick white clothes engulfed him almost completely , so Schuldich couldn't comment on his build . His hazel-coloured hair was thick and glossy , his skin perfectly tanned to a fault .  
  
Schuldich guessed that the boy was an athlete - a soccer player and a damned dedicated one too , considering that he was kicking a ball around in this condemnable weather .  
  
Thump . Bam !  
  
" Hey , kid . You're going to get sick if you keep on playing around like that ." He called out suddenly .  
  
Schuldich didn't know why he had bothered . He wasn't exactly a friendly guy , so the effort surprised even him .  
  
The boy looked up at him , startled , his leg in mid-strike . His eyes met Schuldich's .  
  
Schuldich noted that his eyes were unique , he had never seen eyes like that in all his years as a professional ; a blend of dusky grey and flecks of gold .  
  
Amazing .  
  
" It's cold here . Why don't you run along and go back home ." His lips twitched in a small smirk .  
  
" I'd rather not . Besides , my brother wouldn't be back till late ..." The boy paused , as if musing and then added " Thanks for the concern , mister ." The boy grinned at him as he said the honest words ; making his heart lurch unexpectedly .  
  
It surprised him that the boy would entrust those details to a complete stranger - when he could be a mugger and kill him right there especially since there wasn't anyone to look for him until late .  
  
Schuldich paused , watching as the boy resumed his ball kicking .  
  
" Well , why don't you go back to your family ? I'm sure they're waiting for you ." He said , after several moments .  
  
The boy looked up at him again , gazing at him with his smoky grey eyes . " My brother's at work ." He said simply . He stopped the bouncing ball and flicked it up into the air with his toe and caught it with his white- mittened hands .  
  
" Oh ." Realization hit him . So the boy didn't have parents or anything .  
  
Suddenly , all the previous peeves and annoyances since the night before were forgotten and Schuldich put his hands into his pockets . " Hey , I'm sorry kid ."  
  
" Don't sweat it ." The brunette gave him a small smile .  
  
" Hey , why don't we get a cup of cocoa . I live around here and I know a place that serves great breakfasts ."  
  
The boy raised an eyebrow quizzically . " Really ? ... I don't know ..." he started hesitantly .  
  
" Hey . Don't worry , I won't mug you or anything . I know I look like a desperate man but ... well , hey , I'd like a cup of coffee too ."  
  
The boy laughed .  
  
He had a perfect laugh , Schuldich thought .  
  
" Well , what do you say about it ?" Schuldich grinned .  
  
" I guess . If you don't mind me tagging along ." The boy put an arm around black and white ball .  
  
" I wouldn't ask if I did , would I ?" He walked towards the direction of his condo , the teen-ager falling into stride beside him .  
  
Glancing at the boy beside him , he offered his gloved hand . " By the way , I'm Schuldich , Schuldich Schwarz ."  
  
" Ken Hidaka ." Was the response , and a strong hand gripped his own . Schuldich was surprised at the lack of recognition on the Ken at the mention of his name .  
  
* I guess I'm not as popular as I thought I was .* He mused to himself .  
  
They lapsed into silence , each lost in his own thoughts .  
  
" So you're a photographer ?" Ken asked politely , obviously trying to start a conversation .  
  
" Yeah ... how did -"  
  
Ken grinned and pointed at the bulky contraption hanging from his neck . " I figured that out by myself ."  
  
" And you're a soccer player ?" Schuldich countered amicably , gazing at the profile of the boy , just a few inches shorter than him .  
  
" I ... I used to be ." The voice had grown softer , Schuldich could tell he had touched a nerve , but he couldn't restrain himself from probing a little deeper .  
  
" What made you stop ?"  
  
" Problems ." He refused to elaborate , so Schuldich chose to speak of other things .  
  
" What's your brother's line of work ?"  
  
" He works as a waiter at a bar downtown . It doesn't usually open till six in the evening but well , today is , after all , New Year so it's gonna be packed early . The manager wanted them to fix something , I guess ."  
  
They broke through the perimeter of the park and onto the sidewalk , Schuldich could see his condo .  
  
" Would you mind if I go to my place and change ? I feel like a stinkbomb ."  
  
Ken laughed again , his eyes twinkling merrily . " Go ahead . There's nothing I can do stop you ."  
  
Actually , there is . A voice in Schuldich's head piped in suddenly .  
  
Where the hell did that come from ?! Schuldich frowned .  
  
" Why don't you come on up , instead of waiting here . It's warm there . 100% guaranteed . You can grab a Snickers bar too , I've got a ton of those . Funny how loaded you can be when a company sponsors you . I don't even eat chocolate bars ."  
  
Ken shook his head . " I'm just going to mess up your floor - my shoes are wet ."  
  
Schuldich glanced down to see the boy's rubber shoes . " Are you crazy ?! Why are you wearing sneakers ? You're probably freezing ."  
  
" I kick better with these . My boots at home are kinda small ." Ken's embarrassment was apparent . Obviously , they didn't have the money to buy boots his size that could protect him from the weather .  
  
Schuldich patted Ken's back and herded him towards the entrance . " Come on , let's get you warm ."  
  
He had absolutely no idea why he was he was acting that way . It was new to him , being nice and charitable to a total stranger . But this kid was different . Schuldich felt different around him for some bizarre reason .  
  
" Thanks ... but I can -"  
  
" No buts , kid . You better listen to me or I just might mug after all ." Schuldich winked led the brunette towards the elevator .  
  
This wasn't a bad day after all .  
  
- - -  
  
Kaen-chan : *Shakes in fright* Stalking list ? O_O;; *faints* haha ! Alice by Mami-san ? No , I've never read that . It's SchuKen too ? *pouts* Actually ... *stubs her foot on the floor* I wrote this after watching a really mushy movie . *runs away and hides* I'm so yucky ne ?  
  
Mariki : *Laughs and shakes her leg* You know , I have a puppy IRL who act like you do , oooooh ! KAWAII !!! Oh no ! *runs away screaming* Twinkles ! A magical hippo !  
  
Marsupial : *pats pats and hands hankie*  
  
Misura : Waaaiii ! Really ? Thankies !  
  
Schu-chan : Answers your question ne ? Wheeee ! (loves SchuxKen) ^_~  
  
Arigatou to the five of you ! ^_^ 


	3. So close , so fast

R_M : Well , this is the third chappie ! First of all ... I'd like to apologize if there are parts that are really lame and disgusting .  
  
The truth is , this is the *first* ever time I've tried to write a normal- life kind of fic .  
  
If you've noticed , I write action-y fics , with violence and killing and stuff , so I don't really know how to deal with these kinds of things . Second of all , I don't really cope well with transitions and stuff .  
  
I still hope that you guys would still support this fic . Because no matter what anybody says , I'm really proud of it - it being the first and all ! ^__^  
  
- - -  
  
Schuldich's flat was at the penthouse of the building . He paid a fortune every month so it was just logical that everyone , from the bellhop to the manager treated him like he was some sort of demigod .  
  
He puffed one last drag on his cigarette , inhaling the smoke appreciatively and noticed with amusement Ken's veiled attempt to avoid sniffing the smoke grey haze . The brunette was almost as red as a ripe tomato as he hold his breath , making Schuldich want to laugh out loud .  
  
He slid the cardkey down the slot and opened the door to his flat before motioning Ken to enter .  
  
Ken stood there , awed .  
  
The place was beautiful ! - and large !  
  
The truth was , Schuldich's suite occupied almost the entire floor . Floor to ceiling windows let in a glorious amount of light and stylish thick curtains of expensive quality hanged along the sides , half-drawn . At the end , to their left was a kitchen with aluminum-surfaced appliances and counter , a rack lay suspended above for the pans and pots .  
  
The large glass dining table stood regally before the kitchen armed with at least ten contemporarily styled chairs . To their right was a large living room with the most complete entertainment system Ken had ever seen in his life . At the end was a door that led to a large walk-in closet , and another to a larger master bedroom equipped with its own luxurious bathroom , sauna and Jacuzzi .  
  
Schuldich chuckled at the boy's astonishment . " Welcome to my humble abode , Ken Hidaka ."  
  
But his comment was lost upon the brunette as he , like a little child , rushed to window and stared at the streets below , his breath fogging the glass . " Woooow ." He let a long breath of admiration .  
  
Schuldich laughed . " Make yourself comfortable . Would you mind if I take a quick shower ?"  
  
" No ." Ken breathed as he watched the passersby scuttle below like ants .  
  
Chuckling , Schuldich discarded his rumpled clothing and stepped into the bathroom connected to his bedroom while musing . He tossed the glowing butt into the trashcan carelessly .  
  
He had never encountered anyone with Ken's attitude before .  
  
Certainly not in the world he was living in . Maybe that was what possessed him to be acquainted with the boy a few minutes ago .  
  
Was it just minutes ago ?  
  
Schuldich felt like he knew everything about Ken Hidaka .  
  
The boy had an honest quality to him that made you feel like you want to entrust all your secrets to him .  
  
He twisted the knob of the shower and felt the tepid water pelt his naked body . The luxury of a shower barely pervaded his thoughts as he continued to muse on the boy who was still probably ooh-ing and aah-ing on the view .  
  
Such enthusiasm for just a view of a busy street stories below . Schuldich himself never noticed nor appreciated that , he realized . But Schuldich never exactly noticed nor appreciated anything that wasn't involved with his projects . Until now , he'd never paid any attention to that spectacle of passersby . Nor had he ever been awed by the luxury of his flat . It all came simply to him .  
  
He just ignored everything that wasn't a part of his job .  
  
He lathered himself with soap and turned on the shower , feeling it wash away form his slick skin .  
  
Finally through , he took a towel from the rack (it was changed everyday by the personnel) and ran it through his hair and then his body .  
  
" Mr. Schuldich ?" a tentative call came from outside .  
  
" I'm here , kid ."  
  
" Is it okay if I come in ?"  
  
" Yeah ." Schuldich replied , momentarily forgetting his nudity . The door opened and the brunette stood there , his jaw on the floor , a flush forming on his cheeks . He turned his head discreetly away .  
  
" Dear God ." Schuldich muttered as he quickly wrapped the towel around his waist .  
  
He had never been ashamed of his fantastic physique - he knew it as well as anybody that he had a great body ; what made him so embarrassed was the fact that Ken had become flustered by the sight of him .  
  
" Was I taking too long ?" He asked easily , wringing his long red hair dry .  
  
" I uh ... I changed ... well , I changed my mind , uh - maybe - I think , maybe I should go ." Ken stuttered , his eyes trained on the wall , his face as red as a cooked crab . Schuldich had definitely caught him off- guard .  
  
Schuldich chuckled . " I won't let you do that . We're going to have breakfast ." He insisted . How had he become so familiar ; so intimate with this boy when they had spent barely an hour together ?  
  
" I think ... maybe I should go ." Ken had never taken his eyes off the dark blue tiles that compose the walls of the beautiful bathroom .  
  
" No way , kid . We're going to have a great breakfast down at Altrino's and that's final . If you don't mind , I'd be dressing up in decent clothes ."  
  
Schuldich had never seen someone hurry out of a room so fast .  
  
- - -  
  
The walk to Altrino's was short and silent . Ken was still obviously flustered with what happened and he pocketed his hands in his jacket while Schuldich , dressed in a thin midnight-coloured sweater , jeans and leather boots with a black coat over , walked effortlessly beside him . Out of habit , Schuldich's black camera was hanging around his neck .  
  
Ken was wearing Schuldich's old leather boots - expensive (and almost new , despite what he said about it being worn out) , which had grown a size too small for him but was just perfect for the brunette . Ken had , of course , tried to refuse ; but Schuldich had insisted , saying that he might just throw it out anyway since it didn't fit anymore .  
  
" I'm sorry about that ." Schuldich said , offering an apologetic smile , referring to the scene at the shower .  
  
Ken nodded but kept his gaze straight ahead on the pavement . The dripping sneakers dangled from his neck by the laces .  
  
They were seated in the nearly deserted café near the window and Schuldich almost had to force the brunette to order .  
  
The heavy breakfasts Schuldich had ordered for both of them now lay on the table , steaming .  
  
Ken had refused to meet his eyes and faint tinge of red still lingered on his cheeks .  
  
Amused , Schuldich stirred his coffee and took a sip of the strong black substance , it's aroma was heavenly , but its taste was even more addicting . " Hey , don't look so glum . Don't tell me you've never seen a naked man before !" He joked lightly .  
  
Ken flushed .  
  
" Eat your breakfast , it's getting cold ." He nudged the plate towards the blushing brunette . " So , are you in college ?" He asked , taking another sip of his coffee .  
  
" I'm a freshman - well , I was ."  
  
Schuldich glanced at him quizzically " What do you mean ?"  
  
" I had to drop out last week . Financial problems ."  
  
" I thought your brother's a working man , how could he let you just drop out of your schooling like that ?"  
  
" I don't mind . We have a lot of stuff to pay for , his salary's not enough to keep me in school , even on a part-time scholarship . I told him I wanted to work instead , since I have nothing to do - but - he doesn't want me to ." Ken explained . He stabbed at the scrambled eggs and swallowed it without chewing .  
  
" If you want , I can pay for your tuition and books ."  
  
" What ?! No way ! I can't accept your offer sir ! Besides , my brother will kill me ! He doesn't want anybody's sympathy ." Ken sighed glumly and swallowed another mouthful of his breakfast .  
  
" First of all , I'm Schuldich . Not mister 'Schuldich' not mister Schwarz , certainly not Sir 'Schuldich' . Second of all , I think you should go to school if you'd want to have a future ahead of you and third of all , I'd say your brother is a total asshole ."  
  
Ken looked surprised at his statement , he sat there , staring at Schuldich , taken aback .  
  
" You don't understand ." He said softly , his eyes clouding in misery .  
  
Schuldich wondered what he said so wrong . Maybe he shouldn't have taken a crack at Ken's brother like that , not when he barely even knew him . " Sorry ; I didn't mean that kid ."  
  
Ken shook his head sadly .  
  
He loved his brother more than anyone in the world because he had always taken care of Ken . He sacrificed everything just to make sure that Ken was doing fine even when it meant that there were things he couldn't afford to buy for himself . He worked full time from early evening to early morning at the bar and worked at a flower shop during the day , dropping off in their small apartment in the afternoon to take a few hours of sleep before he had to start work at the bar again .  
  
Aya may sometimes be hotheaded and moody , but Ken understood him . Aya was always tired , but he always had the time to fix Ken food between jobs so he had something to eat at school . *  
  
He knew that they could never afford him finish his college education , they couldn't even afford to keep him through the next semester . They had to scrimp Aya's meager earnings from both jobs to pay for the rent and all the other expenses .  
  
Aya was just twenty-six . He was eight years older than Ken , but he had acted as a surrogate parent for Ken when both their father and mother had died in a fire while they were at school when Ken was just ten years old .  
  
Ken's voice was choked , Schuldich could feel that he was trying to keep his emotions from seeping to his voice and it made him all the more guilty that he had said those words . " It's okay ... Aya's a beautiful person . He's the best brother anyone could ask for ... I - I love my brother . He's the only family I got left ."  
  
Schuldich had never seen such profound sadness before .  
  
" I hope you don't mind if I take a picture of you ." Schuldich suddenly . He regretted on having being such an ass and he wanted to steer the subject around .  
  
Ken's gaze was resting at something outside and he said hollowly , still lost in the thoughts of his brother . " No , I guess not ."  
  
Schuldich adjusted the lens and the shutter speed . Perfect .  
  
Ken was staring out the window with a far , sad expression on his face .  
  
Click .  
  
Click .  
  
Click .  
  
He knew one picture was enough , but ... well Ken was the best subject he had ever come across , he portrayed feelings well . He knew there was another reason - that maybe he was ...  
  
- he tried to bury the feeling .  
  
Click .  
  
Click .  
  
Slowly , Ken turned to him , as if suddenly startled into reality . " Oh , damn ." He said , jumping to his feet . " I gotta go . I have to do - uhm - stuff ." He said in a hurry , he took his coat , which he draped on the seat and turned to go . " Thanks for the breakfast , Schuldich ." He said , giving the redhead a warm smile . " Nice meeting you !"  
  
" Hey ! Give me your number !" He called out after Ken , who was already half-outside the door .  
  
" We don't have a phone !" Ken shouted back , running as if his life depended on it . " Thanks !"  
  
Schuldich sank back on his seat with a rueful smile . At least he had gotten pictures right ?  
  
With a small chuckle , he lit a cigarette and leaned back against his chair , lost in thought .  
  
He'd develop the pictures later and leave Yohji high and dry tomorrow morning .  
  
He smirked and blew a smoke ring in the air . Forget about dinner at Yohji's flat . He had something better to do .  
  
- - -  
  
R_M : I am so psyched ! Yeah !  
  
You'll be pleased to know that the 17th chapter of this fic is already all typed out ! Yessss ! I finished 17 ½ chapters in five days !!! *LARGE LARGE grin* of course ... *smiles demurely* I have to make you curse me and coax me before I dole them out - meaning write your reviews ! BWAHAHAHArdiharhar !!!!! ^____~ kidding !  
  
Misura : Hhmmmm ... *wonders* is it Manx or isn't it ? Yesh . Maybe I have to look for that Alice ne ? Really ? Hmm , I had thought that they were chummy all too quickly , but I guess I was wrong . After all , as Mariki so enthusiastically said : it was love at first sight . Is it or isn't it I wonder ? *scratches her chin*  
  
Mariki : Waiii ! Really ? Yes ! I will e-mail youuuu !!! *runs off to mail Mariki* Arigatou ! ^__^  
  
Jenken : Arigatou for the compliments . BTW , are you in the WKML ? I saw your post I think . ^__~  
  
Schu-chan : O_____O;;;;;;;;; ( ( . ,)  
  
Ran Mouri : Waaii ! I remember you ! You're the person who named yourself after the Mouri in Meitantei Conan ! Wahahaha ! Kawaii ! Hmm . Guess you didn't expect Aya to be Ken's brother ? I was thinking that maybe people would expect Aya to be the third wheel here , but that just puts him out of the love triangle picture . 


	4. Second meetings

                                                       † † †

" You look like the cat that ate the canary , Schul ." Yohji looked up at Schuldich , perched at the end of the redhead's desk with a casual recline . " Get laid ?" 

Schuldich mocked gasped and shoved the blonde off . " Dear Lord ! The man knows how to read !" 

Yohji laughed . " Not yet huh ? But you're getting there ." 

Schuldich shook his head in disgust and tossed the camera carelessly on the table , but laid a brown envelope carefully on the glass-top desk . 

Yohji had prided himself for being stylish and the office was the epitome stylish . It was nothing but . Every detail had been meticulously taken care of , which was why their very own office floor was constantly featured in different magazines .

" What's that ?" Yohji eyed the envelope above his dark sunglasses .

" Prints ." 

" I gathered as much . What I mean is , what are those prints _of_ ?" He said sardonically , snatching the envelope from the table and pulling the 8x12 prints from inside .

" Whoa , man ." He whistled appreciatively . " Who is this young specimen ?" He examined each picture carefully , seemingly fascinated with the subject . 

Schuldich had made the prints from the coffeeshop black and white , making Ken's melancholy expression even more dramatic , the shades and the lighting had made the subject more intriguing and mysterious – if such a thing was possible . " His name's Ken ." He said , refusing to give even slight information such as his family name . 

" Didn't I tell you to take a break yesterday ?" He glanced again at the large prints . "... Not that I'm complaining !" Yohji added hastily as he nodded appreciatively at the photographs . 

The truth was , Schuldich had spent all night developing those and he had made two sets , the other one he had posted in his apartment . He was bleary-eyed , having taken just a little more than two hours of sleep , but he was feeling better than he had in weeks . 

In his opinion , the five prints he had taken of Ken Hidaka are the best he had ever done in his career . 

He was finally learning to appreciate photography – for the first time in his life . 

                                                     † † †

Ken woke up , shivering terribly . He wasn't feeling good today . 

He glanced at the heater , the only one in the apartment , which Aya had installed a week before and saw through glazed eyes that it was turned on to high . 

He guessed that Aya had already left for the flowershop and that breakfast was already set on the table . He staggered out of bed , feeling light-headed . 

Not today .

He couldn't be sick today ! 

He coughed and turned off the heater to save electricity and padded barefoot into the bathroom . " Brrrrr ..." He shuddered and splashed cold water on his face . 

The water heater was broken and they didn't have enough money to have it fixed . Aya was too busy with his jobs to handle it and Ken would have fixed it himself if only he knew how .

Blearily , he stumbled back to his room to change . He had to go grocery shopping today . He had to cook Aya lunch . 

_He had to ... _

He fell on his bed , unconscious . 

                                                        † † †

Schuldich whistled as he studied the pictures he had taken of Ken yesterday . 

For some strange reason , he couldn't keep his mind off the brunette . 

He laughed at the memory of Ken's deep red blush when he saw Schuldich naked in the bathroom and ran his fingers tenderly on the glossy surface of the photographs .

Suddenly , he felt a cold breeze sweep past him for a split second and he turned to look if anyone had gone by from behind him but there was no one in his office . 

                                                         ­† † †

When Ken woke up , he realized that he was half-dressed and a glance at the clock hanging above his door told him that it was eleven-thirty . 

Half an hour before Aya's lunchbreak ! 

He tried to swallow back a fit of coughing and tugged his pants on , he was about to slip into his damp sneakers when he remembered that Schuldich had given him a pair of leather boots the day before . 

He gave a sickly smile and pulled on his coat . His shaking hands barely had enough strength to pull his cap low over his blue-tinged face . 

Coughing , he grabbed the chipped keys and slammed the door behind him .

† † †

Schuldich had decided to take an early lunch , hoping to pass through the park and see if Ken was kicking his soccer ball there , but thought the better of it . He was probably at home , having lunch right now . 

Schuldich strolled along the sidewalk , oblivious of the few passersby that streamed past him , he was lost in thought – a habit that had grown on him since he had met a certain someone the day before . 

He wondered how Ken was doing . He had seemed a little bit glum when had left the café yesterday morning and it was all Schuldich's fault ! 

He scowled at his brusqueness . Damn . 

That was exactly the reason why everybody else hated him . 

                                                         † † †

Ken stumbled through the sidewalk , his vision spinning . He had to buy groceries before Aya got home ... _he had'ta ... hehad'ta ... he ..._

He lurched and collapsed heavily against one of the passersby and immediately lost consciousness as he hit the cold blanket of snow that had collected just outside the grocery . 

                                                         † † †

Schuldich stopped when he heard a shout just a few feet away from him and looked up ahead just in time to see a kid , obscured in a thick faded winter jacket , equally worn down denim pants , a thick woolen cap and boots . 

He couldn't see the kid's face because he fell face first on the snow , right in front of a woman who looked like she had just emerged from a fashion show . 

Curious , Schuldich approached cautiously , not as much because of the woman's pleads for help as to satisfy his inquisitiveness . 

He pitied the kid , maybe he hadn't eaten for days - he certainly dressed like it – and was probably so hungry that he collapsed . 

Several other passersby had started to gather and a man who had come from the grocery had taken the unconscious boy by the shoulders and turned him carefully over .

Schuldich's heart jumped up into his mouth . 

The limp body belonged to Ken . 

His Ken . 

Viciously , he fought his way through the crowd and kneeled beside the grocer as the man tried to pat Ken's face in the hopes of him regaining consciousness . No such luck . 

Schuldich's keen eyes noticed a trickle of blood trailing down Ken's chin , a drop had already stained the snow . He was flushed , sweat trickled down his forehead as if it was in the middle a sweltering summer instead of a below-zero winter .

" What's wrong with him ?!" He asked , aware of the panic in his voice . 

" He's burning with a fever . Maybe we should bring him to the hospital . This could be really bad ." The grocer said . He hefted boy's weight on his thick arms as shouted inside the grocery for someone to call an ambulance . 

Bile rose in Schuldich's  throat . How could Ken be so sick ? Yesterday he was doing just fine and ... he stopped as he saw Ken move . 

Ken groaned and feebly tried to raise his head . 

His vision was spinning ... where is he ?

Oh no ! He had to cook Aya's meal . Eleven-thirty ! 

His eyes met the blue of the sky and then he saw the face of a beefy man looming over him . He knew that face . 

It was the grocer – he always bought from him .

" S'yorr shop til opn ?" [1]  he asked , his pupils rolling . He tasted blood in his mouth ; he knew he was slurring his words but he hoped the grocer would understand what he was saying . " I hev to buy som grosries ." [2] He tried to shift his weight but the man refused stubbornly to let him down . 

" Don't worry , lad . The ambulance will be here soon ." 

Ambulance ? He didn't need an ambulance ! He needed to get his groceries home before Aya comes from work ! Aya was going to be tired and hungry . It was the least he could do for him . 

" No armblance . Need grosries ... I'll pray yooo . Mony ... I hev som mony ..." [3] He pushed away from the man's chest with the remainder of his strength and was set down gently on the ground . 

Apparently , the grocer was surprised by his insistence . 

His legs felt like jelly and his head was spinning and pounding at the same time . He could taste the coppery flavor of blood in his mouth – he wiped it with his sleeve , trying to ignore the leering , jeering , mocking masks of the people circling him , all going closer and closer like jackals .

Everyone was mocking him ! He needed to get inside ! He needed to escape !

His vision swam and the shop's door waved around like a toy top in front of him . He couldn't tell which one was real . 

He took a step forward and plummeted – but he was caught by a pair of strong arms ... and Schuldich's face rippled into his vision . Despite the ringing in his ears , he heard the faraway voice – Schuldich's baritone " ... hospital ..." 

_*Schuldich ...*_

" Please ... no h'spital ... no spital ..." [4] He muttered , before everything blanked again . 

                                                     † † †

Aya had just received a call from the greengrocer's telling him that Ken had collapsed outside his shop and that someone had already taken Ken to the MagicBus hospital . 

The grocer was a close friend of theirs from way back . Aya had thanked him and placed down the receiver . He had told his manager what had happened and she relented to let him go .

Aya might look like a prick and a total snob , but he was the best assistant manager around ; and she had heard snippets about him and his brother . 

She sympathized with him , she knew she could not possibly relate to all the heartache they must be going through , but she liked Aya , despite his constant grouchiness . 

She had called Aya back when he was about to rush outside to find a taxi , and lent him her car . 

So , Aya plunged the car into the congested streets and cursed everyone for being such bastards . He briefly considered abandoning the car , but it was out of the question considering Ms. Manx's kindness . 

The drive to the hospital seemed like an eternity , Aya's blood had almost dried up completely . 

Without even taking time to lock the door of the Range Rover , he sprinted into the hospital , his face etched with worry . 

                                                         † † †

[1] 'Is your shop still open ?'

[2] 'I have to buy some groceries .'

[3] 'No ambulance . Need groceries ... I'll pay you . Money ... I have money .'

[4] 'Please ... no hospital ... no hospital ...'

**R_M :** I'm so sorry for taking so long in updating . I've just been having _very_ serious problems with uploading in FF.net for one reason or another . I still can't figure out what the hell is wrong and I'll be very much surprised if  this chappie's posted in any case .  

**Kaen_chan :** _*patspats* _It's ok ... it's ok ...

**Brizey :** Hiya ! Arigatou ! Will do !

**Jenken :** Yeah , I get lotsa stuff from there too ... although , I'm wondering why people are so uptight lately . 

**n :** ^__^

**Mariki :** Didja get my e-mail ? didja ? ^__^ I can't wait !!! _*rushes off to check her e-mail*_


	5. Frantic

" Are you immediate family ?" An aging doctor was asking Schuldich something , but he was just too dazed to reply . 

He knew it had to be something important , but it just didn't register . " What ?" 

" Are you immediate family ?" The man repeated , his lips curling in minor annoyance . 

" I am ." a deep voice replied . Schuldich turned to see a tall redhead dressed in black striding purposefully towards them . " I'm his brother ." 

The doctor nodded and gestured for him to follow him , soon they were speaking in low tones which Schuldich could not understand . He watched helplessly as the two men disappeared down the hall . The other redhead had barely thrown a glance in Schuldich's direction despite the fact that he had been standing there long enough to know that the doctor was asking the seated redhead his relation to _his_ brother .

_So that was the brother ..._ Schuldich pursed his lips in an irate frown .

Ken's brother was there – it meant that he was safe – he didn't need Schuldich now .

... but Schuldich needed to know . 

_What had happened to Ken ?_

† † †

He blinked his eyes slowly , trying to get some perspective on his strange surroundings . 

It was strangely familiar ,  the bright lights , the white hazy walls , the peculiar smell . 

_What happened ? _

Oh .

The fever .

He was at the hospital . He had been here before ; the Magicbus hospital . 

Aya had brought him there a month ago for his routine checkup . 

He squinted , trying to remember the series of events that gripped him that day and was struck by the memory of Schuldich gazing down at him so reassuringly ... he had felt safe when he gazed into his green eyes ...

Schuldich ! 

_Was it even possible to fall in love so quickly ?_

He hadn't thought so for a long time . His life had only revolved around one man – his brother , Aya . And now , another redhead burst into the barricaded walls of his existence and made him smile , just like Aya did ... maybe even more . 

Ken gave an ailing smile , despite his swollen gums , despite the bleeding , despite the burning fever and spinning room . 

_Perhaps . _

The door creaked open and the pale face of Aya appeared . " Ken ." He said softly . 

The doctor had retreated outside , leaving them to talk for a few minutes in privacy before sedatives should be administered . 

" I'm sorry Aya ." He whimpered , his eyes brimming with tears . " I'm so sorry ." 

Aya's face softened in pain as he approached his brother and gave him a gentle hug . 

Gods ! He loved this poor little sick boy ! He'd do anything – _anything _– to make him happy ... 

But why did it have to happen to him ? Why to Ken Hidaka ?

" Shhh ... shhh ." Holding his brother's frail body in his arms , feeling the brunette's  searing fever permeate through his skin , feeling the racking shivers course through his body , hearing the short gasps for breath ... he longed to take Ken's place , just to take his misery away from him . To borne all the suffering instead . God knows that if he could do just that , he would .

Ken sobbed against his chest , soaking his black t-shirt with his hot tears . " I didn't even get to cook your lunch today – I wanted to make something special because today's Papa and Mama's anniversary ..." 

That was Ken . Thinking of others in the middle of his agony . He had always been so giving , so liberal , and yet , who had stuck through for him during these hard times – did any of his previous friends , those who pretended to be his closest buddies when he was the star of the soccer team even call him when he had dropped out ? Did any of the girls who had swooned at the sight of him during his time as the top one of their batch ever inquire how he is ? Did anybody even care ?

No one .

No one .

" It's alright Ken . It's alright ." He muttered softly . Burying his face in the mass of soft chestnut hair .

Soon , the sobs began to cease , slowly , he could feel the shallow breaths grow a little deeper . The convulsions almost faded to a halt . He felt the steady , rhythmic breathing of his brother so fragilely encased in his strong arms and wondered why the worst things always happened to the best people .

He stroked the shiny crown of brown hair as he thought about the man in the hall . So perhaps he was the one who had brought Ken to the hospital ... maybe he needed to thank him ... but his pride rejected the thought . 

They didn't need anyone's help . Ken and he , they'd always managed to survive on their own , he didn't want to be indebted to _anyone _.

He kissed the formerly golden forehead as he laid the slack form on his brother back onto the mattress .

He would find a way to tie that particular loose end . But Aya Ryouran Hidaka was not about to say 'thank you' to anyone , living or dead . 

† † †

When he emerged from the room , the doctor had disappeared somewhere , leaving him to his misery . 

Aya decided that he should go home to get a few things , return the Rover to Manx and stay in the hospital for the night . Maybe he could even ask for a week of leave . He was sure Manx understood 

He was about to pass another redhead seated along one of the chairs lining the walls when the redhead stood up from the plastic chair he had been seated . " Aya ?" 

Aya's eyes narrowed into thin slits of violet . 

" Yeah ." His voice was devoid of any emotion . 

" Ken mentioned you . My name's Schuldich Schwarz . We met at the park yesterday and I saw him collapse earlier . How is he ?" The man looked suspicious to Aya . What exactly did he want from Ken ?

" He just has a high fever ." He said abruptly . He wasn't about to volunteer information of own accord . 

" His lip was bleeding ." 

" He bit it . Look , I don't have time to talk . I have many things to do . I still have to get Ken's stuff so if you don't mind , excuse me ." His tone was bitingly cold , his face was equally apathetic . 

The stranger recoiled , " Well don't let me stop you _sir_ ." He said mockingly , his hands raised in anger .

Aya walked past him without another word . 

He didn't like that bastard a bit . 

† † †

Schuldich glanced at the empty corridor and walked casually to the door where he had seen Aya leave . 

He gently swung the door open and let himself in . 

Dear Lord ... 

Ken was unconscious in the metal bed ; his face pale and drawn – so different from the animated and healthy face he had seen yesterday . There were deep bags under his eyes and he had lost all his golden colour . On his arms were thick bruises and spots where the greengrocer had gripped him earlier .

He pulled a chair close and gazed tenderly at the sleeping face , watching the lean chest rise and fall shallowly in respiration , watch the closed eyes blink rapidly . 

_Could anyone feel so strongly about another person so quickly ? _

He had never been able to believe the concept of 'love at first sight' – in fact , maybe it was the first time that he had really felt that kind of painful emotion . 

The way his heart constricted when he had seen the brunette in the park , the way he felt like soaring when the boy blushed ... maybe ... maybe that was love ... and maybe ... he had fallen in love at first sight . 

How strange it was , he was always aloof and detached from the world , watching like he were just a casual observer of a television soap opera , monitoring the drama unfold before his own eyes ; and yet here he was , caught in the middle of the intricate web of a corporal performance , so immersed with the visions and illusions the world had thrown into his arms . 

His hands inched for the limp fingers on the bed as if of their own volition and clasped those cold ones in his . 

He realized that , as he gazed into the drawn – yet still beautiful face of the boy who was lying asleep , that every moment he spent with him was drawing him closer like a magnet , like polar opposites seeking their other half .

He stood slowly and leaned over the pale figure , and placed a sweet , chaste kiss on Ken's forehead , lingering for but a moment to inhale his pine scent .

" Mister ? Are you immediate family ?" A nurse had just entered the room , carrying a black clipboard in her arms .

" I'm his elder brother – I was just leaving ." He lied easily , a charming yet emotionless smile on his face . 

Schuldich smirked inwardly at the easy lie that he spit through his teeth . _How easy it was for him to pretend !_ To fool other people as his pictures fooled the public . 

But he could never lie to himself – not even if he wanted to .

The nurse nodded in belief and checked her clipboard without another word , yet throwing this handsome relative a covert look . 

How hard it must be for him to see his younger brother in this state . It was so sweet of him to kiss the boy's forehead without any embarrassment or shame ; briefly , she entertained the thought of maybe asking him out for coffee ... he looked nice enough a man . God knows she needed company nowadays ...

But she rejected the thought . Maybe not now . I'd seem a little heartless to ask him while he was still pained for his brother – she didn't want to seem heartless .  

 He gave one last tender look at that innocent face , peaceful in slumber and closed the door gently behind him .

† † †

Schuldich had to go back to the office . Yohji would probably be fuming by now – and he was right .

" Where the hell have you been ? Lunch break was over two hours ago !" The blonde shouted as he stepped off the elevator . " The advertisers have been waiting for you for over an hour !" 

" Something important came up ." Schuldich brushed past the taller man , but Yohji gripped his arm tightly . 

" What ?" The blonde's brown eyes searched his jade ones ; concern dancing in the hazel orbs despite his irate pitch . 

" Ken collapse in the street ." 

" You mean the kid you met yesterday ?" 

Schuldich nodded and pulled his arm from his editor's grip . " His brother said he had a high fever maybe it had something to do with the cold ." He had to keep his voice in check .

" Why the concern ? I mean , you met him just yesterday , 24 hours , Schul –"

" You don't understand – I think I'm ..." he trailed off uncertainly . 

" You think you like him ? You don't even know him yet , man . I mean , you could just get hurt ! He _is_ just a kid after all , everything might just be a game to him – and you're 28 ! You're probably years his senior ! I saw his picture ! He looked like he was just eighteen ... you're not even sure he feels the same way ."

" Stop it Yohji ! You don't give a damn about my personal life ! Keep your nose in your own business ." He jabbed his finger angrily at Yohji's chest , his eyes flashing , his teeth bared . 

Yohji had never seen the redhead so angry . He held up his hands in surrender . " Fine . I mind my own business . But don't tell me I didn't warn you Schul . You'll just end up hurting yourself , count on that ." 

He walked away , leaving the redhead standing there , spent in his anger and sadness . 

" You'll regret it Schuldich ... I'm sorry , but you will ." Yohji said softly . 

                                                                         † † †

**R_M : I'm so sorry for the long update . I'm sure it's taken longer than you'd like but life's been throwing me lemons ( uhh … the real lemons in the uhm … figurative sense – not THOSE lemons !!!)  lately and I just had to find time to deal . **

**Jenken : Guess so ! ^__^ thanks !**

**Kaen-chan : _*attempts to stop her from throttling herself*_ no ! don't do that ... or ... or ... you won't know what's gonna happen next ! ^__~ **

**Misura : _*agrees* _So , that would mean that I'm a heartless psychopathic sadist ! _*LOL* _just kidding . Yes , I thought Aya would act that way with a sibling , which was why he was the perfect choice for Ken's brother – I didn't want to make him _too_ OOC . **

**Mariki : I certainly did ! And I thank you again . ^__^ _*rushes off to find a bucket for drool*_**

**Schu-chan :** _*wide eyes*_ O____O;; what do you mean if ? _*blinks* _---______--- Never mind . O______O _*wide eyes again*_

**Whisper Reilman : Yup , seventeen so far ... if people don't have any complaints . ^__^ I'm still adding stuff , based on your_ *smiles at everyone* _suggestions and I just hope people would like it . _*stops* _You just gave me another idea ! _*runs off*_ **

**Anna Hibiki : Hello ! Good to see you again ! ^__^ I'll try to update Deveil's deceit but I've been coming up dry . I hope you don't mind a short , godawful chapter before I could find my bearings again . ^__^**


	6. Another day in paradise

Seducing the night nurse to let him in was easy compared to seeing – just seeing – the brunette in pain . 

He visited Ken every night , when he knew that Ken's brother wouldn't be around .

Normally , he wouldn't give a shit if someone wanted him away or not , but he didn't want to cause friction any more than he already had with Ken's older brother . 

Ken was never awake when he visited . Probably because it was well over visiting hours and he was already sedated by then . 

He always left something for him , a box of expensive chocolates , a bouquet of colorful flowers , several colorful balloons – and they were always gone the next day . 

On the fourth night , Schuldich had brought a large brown teddy bear with 'Ken' embroidered on one paw , but when he opened the door to Ken's room – it was empty , the bed was made as if no one had been there for a while , the whole room was spotless . 

He felt his heart pound in panic . 

_What had happened ? _

He hurried out to find the night nurse , to discover what had happened to Ken .

Gods ! He didn't – he was getting better , Schuldich knew he was getting better !

He spotted her , a buxom brunette  and offered a smile that was just as real as the bear in his arm . " The kid in room 347 ... ?" he asked .

The girl smiled . " Oh , Ken ? He got out today ! We hate to see him go , he was such a nice boy , but he insisted that he couldn't stand the hospital any longer ." She whispered conspiratorially . " And I think they couldn't afford another night of him staying here ." She pouted . " Too bad , he and his brother is such a good-looking pair . And Ken was really nice too , he shared his chocolates with us nurses . When he asked him it was from , he said that it was from a good friend ..." 

The nurse giggled as if tickled by the thought . " I think he has an admirer ... and he deserves it too ! I've never seen such a great kid ." She stopped as if realizing that she probably said too much and eyed the teddy bear . " That wouldn't be for him , would it ?" She asked knowingly . 

" What ?" Schuldich groaned inwardly as he dropped the bear to his side , by holding it by its ear . " Oh , this is for you ." He offered . " Thanks for letting me visit my nephew ." 

" Nephew huh ?" She asked skeptically , an eyebrow raised in doubt , " Ken ..." She read the name of the bear's paw . 

Schuldich wanted to bang his head against the wall . 

" You wouldn't , by any chance know his address ? I'd like to visit him at home ." He said slowly .

" I guess you're Schuldich , huh ? He talked about you a lot – you know , he smiles real nice when he mentions your name , although I noticed he never did whenever his brother was around ." She frowned . " I guess I could . But don't tell anyone ... I might lose my job ." 

Schuldich nodded . 

She gave him the address and handed back the teddy bear . " Give this to him ." She giggled , " I just love romances !" She exclaimed happily . " Why don't you visit us again and tell us all about it ? We'd love to hear about what's going on with the cutie ." 

" Thanks ... I will ." Schuldich smiled at her , a genuine one , in gratitude for all her help . 

† † †

Ken was dreaming . He dreamt that Schuldich beside him , and they were watching the sunset together by the lake . 

Schuldich smiled at him tenderly , his green eyes so deep that Ken felt like he was drowning in their depths , and took his hands , kissing it gently . " I love you Ken ." He whispered in Ken's ear . 

Ken felt like he was in heaven . It was as if he was soaring through the blue skies . He was rarely happy these days , not with all the problems he and Aya had been having ... but Schuldich made him happy .

" I love you too ..." He said softly , gazing into Schuldich's jade eyes , but suddenly , they turned dark and lifeless , large red welts formed on his skin as the redhead began to convulse and drops of blood emerged from his pores . 

" No ..." Ken whispered . " No ... No ! NO !!!!" He flung his arms around Schuldich , but it was too late . Schuldich had already disappeared into thin air ...

His heart was pounding against his ribs . He couldn't breathe anymore . 

" Aya !"

_Bam ! Bam ! Bam ! Bam !_

" Aya !" 

_Bam ! Bam ! Bam ! Bam !_

He opened his eyes to realize that it was only the door . Someone was knocking on the door . 

Maybe Aya had forgotten something and had come back . 

He stood up slowly from his warm bed and guided himself forward by leaning on the wall . He wasn't strong enough yet . Aya had told him to stay in bed the whole day ... but ... he couldn't just lie there and wait . He was feeling better . He could almost walk . No , he couldn't stay in the apartment any longer . 

As he struggled towards the door , he noticed his breakfast sitting on the table . 

As much as Aya wanted to take care of him , Ken knew that he couldn't . They needed every cent Aya earned from his jobs and Ken didn't want Aya to waste his time on him . He could take care of himself . 

After all , it was just another fever . He'd had dozens of those in his lifetime and hadn't always been so lucky . 

He gathered all his strength to turn the knob and opened the door . 

His eyes widened when he saw who was knocking .

_Schuldich . _

The name rolled pleasantly in his mind .

The tone was friendly , almost intimate as Schuldich grinned casually at him , the dead stub of a cigarette dangling precariously from the tips of his fingers ." Hey there kid ." Schuldich was , as usual attired with his black costume ; the familiar bulky camera around his neck and a pari of expensive-looking glasses keeping his unruly hair in check . 

Schuldich leaned against the frame , his arms raised and 

Schuldich had such a wonderful smile and he was always so nice to Ken . 

No one was nice to Ken , ever since he had to drop out of school . Only Aya .

" Hey ." He said softly . He attempted to open the door wider , but with nothing to lean on , he nearly toppled and fell – but Schuldich caught him in his strong arms ; lifting him to his feet easily . " Whoa kid ! I think you're still a little bit woozy ."

Ken stared up at the smooth face , twisted into a concerned frown ... 

Schuldich was so good-looking . 

Ken wondered briefly why the redhead had even bothered to visit him . 

He wasn't so exceptional ; certainly not as good-looking as his older brother . He had never inherited his mother's red hair and strong features . 

He was just plain old ... Ken .

\\ Aya had mentioned seeing Schuldich four days ago , on the day he had collapsed and said that Schuldich Schwarz was a famous photographer and was always surrounded by beautiful people . He had asked Ken why the man had gone to visit him at the hospital .

Ken had said he didn't know . //

Schuldich placed Ken's arm around his shoulders and assisted him to the table , he pulled up a chair and helped Ken sit . " I hope I didn't disturb you ." Schuldich said , grinning a bit  awkwardly . It was an expression that did not suit him .

" No , I'm glad you came . How did you find out where we live ?" Ken gazed at him with those innocent greys that made Schuldich want to grab and kiss him . 

_Kiss him ?! Are you mad ?!  _

" Long story ." Schuldich chuckled as if amused by a memory . " Oh wait , I brought you something ." 

He retreated to the door and retrieved a large basket filled with chocolates , candy and various other sweets , and a large brown teddy bear . He set those down on the table . 

Ken's eyes lighted up . " Thanks ! I love chocolates !" He exclaimed with child-like fervor . 

" So , aren't you going to eat your breakfast ?" Schuldich asked , glancing at the food on the table . 

Ken shook his head . " I'm not hungry . Are you ? I mean , go ahead . I won't eat it anyway ." 

" You won't get any stronger if you don't eat ." Schuldich insisted doggedly , but Ken refused stubbornly .  It was the truth anyway . There was absolutely no way he could keep all that food down even if he was feeling a bit hungry . Besides , there was no way he was going to spill his guts in front of the prominent redhead .

" I'm really not hungry . So , what gives me the pleasure ?"

" Well ... I was going to ask you if you wanted to go sight-seeing around the city , but , I guess you're not strong enough yet . Maybe I should just come back ." He said softly .

His eyes are so green ... almost like the sea on a sunny day ...

Schuldich seemed to read his mind because he smiled gently at Ken . 

" No !" Ken exclaimed . " I mean ... no . I'm good . I've been meaning to get out of this place anyway." He said with a small smile . " I'm just going to change . I'll be back ." He staggered feebly to his feet . 

Schuldich was at his side at once , " I'll help you to your room ." 

† † †

Aya was worried . Maybe Ken wasn't all right at home . Maybe he's burning with fever . Maybe he couldn't get water . Maybe he passed out and hit his head on some hard surface . 

The flowershop was empty save for Omi and Nagi , the other two personnel .

He shot them a covert look and wondered if he could get away . 

Probalby , those two were easy to talk to anyway . 

" Omi , Nagi , I'm going back to our apartment . My brother's sick so I can't leave him alone too long . If Ms. Birman passes by , tell her why I had to go ." He knew he sounded curt and impolite , but it was just his way to hide his worry . 

The two boys nodded grinningly and seeming to be oblivious to his barely-concealed impatience and discourtesy .

" Hey , Aya . Tell Ken to get well soon k ?" Omi said , throwing a large smile at Aya . 

Thankfully , the bus ride was short and he was at the door of their apartment in almost no time . 

He fished the keys from his pocket and opened the door .

The first thing he saw was a large basket of goodies on the table and an enormous teddy bear perched beside it . Under stuffed toy was a note he recognized as Ken's messy handwriting . 

_" Gone out . _

_  Don't worry . _

_  Won't be back for lunch ._

_                                Ken " _

He cursed angrily . 

† † †

" Are you sure your brother won't be mad at you for pulling a disappearing act ?" 

They were driving through the city now , not in the least threatened by heavy traffic in Schuldich's expensive Beemer , which he reclaimed the afternoon before from the auto shop . 

" No , he'd understand ." Ken said distractedly , looking out the window at the gaily-decorated shops lining the streets . 

It was way past Christmas season and some of the establishments had already started to take down their bright Christmas décor . Somehow , it made him feel a bit disconsolate at the thought of all the santas and reindeer being pulled out from their snowy glory at the windows and doors . The wreaths and Christmas trees would no longer spread their scents and no one will kiss under the mistletoe ... 

" How did you spend your Christmas , Ken ?" His thoughts were sliced apart by Schuldich's inquiry .

" We don't celebrate Christmas . Christmas is just too expensive – anyway , Aya was gone the whole day , seems like everyone wanted to go to the bar and buy flowers on that day ." Ken grinned lightly , but it didn't quite reach his eyes . 

Schuldich turned his attention back to the road . How dismal life seemed for them . 

It was a wonder how the lack of money can make the world so crooked .

But at least he appreciates the smallest things ; unlike you Schuldich . You're so jaded , didn't you know ?

Shut up .

" So , where do you want to go ? My treat ." The road was free of early morning traffic for once .

" Really ?!" Ken looked like he was ready to bounce around the car , but had no energy to do it . " How about that ocean park ? I've never seen live dolphins before !" Ken was bubbling with excitement . " Oh , I bet they're great !" His eyes twinkled as if he wasn't sick at all . 

" Ocean park it is . Then we can go grab something to eat and I can drive you anywhere else you want to go ." 

† † †

The Ocean Park was large and beautifully planned . The fact that it was beside the sea lent it a cheerful and happy atmosphere despite the fact that it was still partly winter . 

Due to the cold climate , there was almost no one in the park save for the few , die-hard travelers and tourists . 

Schuldich assisted Ken through the gate where they were greeted by a white-haired attendant with a small nametag clipped on the left breast of his blue uniform reading : " Good day , my name is : Farfarello ." 

The strange employee smiled at them and gestured towards the far side of the park . " Good morning . What attraction would you like to see ? We have the Dolphin Playground , the Sea Lion Parade , the Killer Whale Circus and Penguin Theater . We also have a beautiful aquarium and aquatic museum with different species of fish and crustaceans from all over the globe ." 

" We'd like to go to the dolphins ." Ken bubbled .

" All right , this way please ." The attendant led the way . 

The dolphin sanctuary was large , the perimeter was fenced underwater , 

A pair of handler in black wetsuits with the park logo was feeding two pairs of enthusiastic dolphins on a platform that extended like a peninsula .

" Ohh !" Ken exclaimed . He wanted to run to the dolphins , but his weakness made him feel like an invalid ; unable to go anywhere and do anything by himself . He wanted to damn that stupid bout of fever and chills that had taken him ... but then again , it probably wouldn't have led Schuldich to his apartment today . He was almost embarrassed because here he was , being reliant to an almost total stranger like Schuldich Schwarz who happened to be saintly . 

But he felt comfortable with Schuldich . It was practically as if he had known him for a long time instead of two days .* 

" I wanna swim with the dolphins !" He laughed happily , prattling along like a little child . He stopped leaning on Schuldich and walked quickly towards the dais , stumbling only slightly .

Schuldich asked Farfarello . " Can he do that ?" 

" Of course sir ." 

" But the water's cold , he just came from a pretty bad fever . I'm not even sure why I brought him here ." Schuldich eyed the snow-surrounded water dubiously .

" The water's kept at constant temperature to accommodate the tropical dolphins . Your boyfriend wouldn't get ill ." Farfarello said , smiling knowingly as he nodded his head  .

" I guess I could let him ." Schuldich said thoughtfully . 

The grin on the pale attendant's face grew wider . 

So the redhead had no plan to deny that the charming young boy was indeed his lover . 

Hmmm ... they _did _look good together . Farfarello meditated on the thought .

" We have wetsuits for rent at the shop . Would you like a pair for both him and you ?" 

Schuldich was watching Ken , who was happily feeding the dolphins with some kind of fish at the edge of the platform , the two attendants were watching him with amused smiles . 

" No thanks ." He said distractedly . " Just one for him ." His jade eyes never left the brunette's energetic form . As an afterthought , he added . " Are you sure it's safe for him ? The water might be too deep ." 

" No sir . The water reaches just four and a half feet in that area and gets deeper . Your lover looks well above that height ." Farfarello grinned . " I'll be getting the wetsuit now . Would you require anything else ?" 

" No ." 

Schuldich walked to Ken just as the attendant mysteriously disappeared , glad that he had brought extra rolls of film . He wanted to take more than five pictures this time ... a lot more than five pictures of the beautiful subject named Ken Hidaka .

He took the camera and started snapping pictures , at first from afar , getting the perfect atmosphere . It was almost unreal . The snow scattered everywhere and Ken leaning over the edge petting the magnificent mammals . Through the lens , it looked as if all the snow and ice was just generated by computer . 

He was halfway through the first roll of film when the white-haired attendant appeared beside Ken and helped him away , the brunette bubbling cheerfully . 

It was a few minutes before they reappeared , Ken dressed in a skin-tight wetsuit , revealing a lean and athletic physique , as he half-loped to the water's edge . He was a little bit on the slender side , but he looked perfect to Schuldich . 

Soon , Ken was playing with the dolphins , rubbing their sleek skin and tossing around a little rubber ball . 

He was drawn to the sight . 

With the water splashing , and the cheery brightness of the sun , it seemed like an advertisement for the park . 

In no time , the first roll was through , Schuldich replaced the roll with another , carefully storing the used roll in a watertight container and started snapping away . 

By the end of the half-hour , Schuldich had finished eight rolls of film . He pursed his lips in satisfaction as Ken happily went away once more with an equally pleased-looking Irishman .

With everything paid for , and several bags of souvenirs bought for the cheerful brunette , they had gone off to find lunch . 

***

They were lunching at a popular downtown restaurant , eating various dishes that Ken had never tried before . 

The brunette was watching Schuldich carefully , almost as if gauging the redhead carefully . 

Schuldich mulled over his thoughts , as he concentrated on his food when Ken suddenly asked him . " Why are you being so nice to me Schuldich ?" 

Schuldich looked at him for a moment , his jade eyes growing more luminous as he studied the brunette seated across him .

Ken shifted on his seat uncomfortably , obviously disconcerted by Schuldich's serious gaze . He wanted to grab the words he asked hanging in the air , but that was impossible now . 

It was a long time before Schuldich replied and when he did , it was a simple response without any hint of annoyance or complication .

" I don't know , Ken ." He said . " You're a great kid . I believe you deserve better ." 

Ken looked down at his food uncomfortably . Something was definitely bothering him . 

_But what ?_

" You're so nice to me . I don't think I deserve it . We've just met and I –" Ken said softly . 

" You know kid , that isn't such a big problem ." Schuldich interjected . He grinned casually and offered his hand across the table . " We're friends now , right ?" 

Ken smiled , his mood lightening . " Yep ." He took Schuldich's hand and they shook hands mock-cordially . 

" Hey , Schuldich ?" 

" Yeah ?" Schuldich raised his eyes . 

" Thanks for everything . I feel a hell of a lot better ." 

The redhead grinned , tossing his long hair nonchalantly behind him . " Don't worry about it kid , it was my pleasure ."

† † †

They had gone to an amusement park after having lunch and Ken had persuaded Schuldich to go on every single one of the rides all the while telling him little things about himself .

Schuldich had never known such as selfless person as the boy sitting happily beside him . Every new detail , every tiny information Ken gave made him like the brunette even more . 

Schuldich wondered how he had managed to remain resilient despite their problems . 

Sure , to him , money was no problem . He was born rich and had never experienced poverty ... but to people like Ken and his brother ... the people who lived everyday asking themselves if they could manage to pay the rent that month or if they had enough money to splurge a little on Christmas – it seemed the ultimate dilemma how to scavenge money . 

It was sad , but it made him even more amazed because even after that , Ken was the kind of boy that made you wonder if he was the richest teenager in the world . 

It was he who talked during dinner . He had told Ken things that he had never told anyone else . 

He had told him about his shattered family , the things he had heard when he was little – that his parents had never intended to have a child - , he talked about photography , a profession that , until recently , he had felt apathetic about ... he had told Ken almost everything there was to know about him .

Ken had listened with interest , and Schuldich felt good , divulging all the little facts without worrying about his image or his reputation  . 

He had never opened up so much to anyone because everyone else thought that he was an arrogant , self-complacent , conceited son of a bitch that they've ever met – which was true – he knew he had his faults , and those might just be some of them , but ever since he met Ken in that snow-covered park , dressed all in white , he felt like a change had come over him and somehow , he knew he had to be closer to the corporal angel ; that it would give him happiness . 

Not with his family .

Not with his so-called friends .

Not with his job . 

It was true too , Schuldich had never been this happy before , even if he was considered as just a friend . 

The happiness he felt wasn't the kind that you'd think your heart wiould burst . It was the slow and subtle kind that made you feel warm inside . 

Yes , Schuldich was happy . 

It almost made him think  , as he sat there gazing at the charming boy across him , _would his happiness last ?_

Dinner lasted for an hour , and by the end of that time , as they were driving home , Ken felt like he could recite Schuldich's autobiography . It was amazing to think that he knew so much about that person – felt like he knew so much about him – within just a short time . 

The streetlights reflected off the surface of the car , glinting this way and that , shining , bouncing . They were both quiet , save for the soft strains of classical music coming from the radio . 

For once in his twenty-eight years , Schuldich felt in peace . His eyes softened when he glanced at the brunette , his cheeks faintly ruddy , a contented smile on his peaceful face , breathing deeply in sleep . 

He knew he had to relinquish him to his brother soon ; the older Hidaka would probably be fuming as hell , but as he was driving through the silent streets , he wanted that moment to freeze in time , to be engraved in his memory forever like one of his immortal photographs . 

It seemed like his life had just begun . 

† † †

* It was two days , since he never was awake when Schuldich visited him at the hospital .

**R_M : Good Lord ! Another chapter in one week and a nine-page chapter too !!! ^___^ you guys are soooo great ! Chapter five had garnered eleven reviews !!! That's about the most reviews I've EVER got for a single chapter !!! *huggles everyone to death* **

This calls for a celebration !!! *dances a jig* WHHHHEEEEEEEE !!! ^___~ 

**Schu-chan : I'm still debating on whether or not to pair Aya with anyone . But as far as the story is concerned , all the major characters have been mentioned . Probably if I paired him up with the one I'm thinking about pairing him up with ... well , no one's going to be happy ... I guarantee that . As for the rest , I shouldn't tell you anything or the story'll get spoiled . I don't want you to be mad at me of course .**

**Suisei Lady Dragon : Hiya ! Nice to see you around !**

**Isil : *is wondering where she could plop that in* I'll try to find an opportunity , but it's tentative since I already got the next few ... I mean , many , chapters written out . ^__^**

**Whisper Reilman : *Lol* Due to popular demand , I just might do a chappie on that . I understand how Aya feels tho . Yup ! I too , hope that you're on track . **

**Kaen-chan : *ties you to a chair and takes all sharp and pointy objects away* Yes , Schu is 28 ....... WHAT ? O_____O *runs away from the creaming and the shouting and the yelling* Uhhhhmmm ... *fidgets and stares at the floor* **

Kaen-chan : *stands on the table and shrieks at Schuldich for being a cradle robber*

Schuldich : *glares at Redemption*

R_M : *cower* But I didn't do anything !

Schuldich : *snarls* she's your reader . *bonks R_M on the head*

R_M : *whimpers* KEEEENNNNN !!!

Ken : *cuddles R_M:

Schu : Why you scheming little ... !

R_M : *sticks tongue out*

Kaen-chan : *grins gleefully and jumps from the table* WHHHEEEEEEEEE ! * ... and lands on Ken and R_M* 

Schu : *GLAREGLAREGLAREGLARE!!!*

Jenken : Now we know how exactly Aya feels about 'other' readhead in Ken's life . *LOL* 

Mariki : Incest ?!! O_______O;;;;;; *faints*

Ran Mouri : *big eyes at large ax* *points at Schuldich* YOU !!! GET the HELL out of here or 

RanMouri's gonna hack your little red head off !!! *screams*  waiii ! not his room onegai !!!

Ran Mouri : *Goes out , big-eyed* I think I saw  what I wasn't supposed to see .

R_M : *nods* that was what I was trying to tell you . You realize that we have the same SN initials . Redemption_Moon , Ran_Mouri + R and M 

Genki no kitsune : Apparently , not anymore ! ^__^ *lol and tramps away happily*

Misura : Arigatou !!! *bows* Yes , how like Aya ne ?

Lady Kickass : Yes , it's turning out to be my favorite pairing nowadays ! ^__^ they're just soo ... right for each other !

ANNOUNCEMENT : 

You'll be glad to know that another SCHUxKEN is brewing . The details are still being worked on , so please , inspire me !! ^___^

Yes ! It's a non-AU !!! And yes , it's purely SCHUxKEN without any preservatives !!!

RnR Onegai ! ^^;


	7. Aftermath

Schuldich whistled softly as went about his work , Yohji had only looked at him and shook his head as if telling himself that Schuldich would soon find out that it wasn't worth it , that this budding relationship had nowhere to go . 

In his opinion , Yohji was wrong . What's more , Schuldich didn't give a shit what he thought . 

He dumped the entire contents of one of his print boxes onto his desk and started rummaging carelessly for reusable prints , his mind half on the job . 

He smiled at the memory of the night before . 

_He had driven Ken to their apartment and the moment he drove in front of the door , it was flung open and he saw the pale and fuming face of his brother ._

_The man had probably lain in wait for them all night just to catch him like some seriously demented predator . In fact , Aya reminded him of just that . _

_Ken's brother ; Aya , had opened his mouth apparently to start shouting at both of them when Schuldich had placed his index finger on his lips and faced the livid Aya with a sleeping Ken curled up in his arms . His fever gone , his strength almost regained , happy and contented with Schuldich's companionship ._

_He had then brushed past Aya and carried Ken to bed while the elder brother had swallowed his reprimand in surprise at the coolness of how this stranger had breezed into their house with his brother in tow . _

_That probably was the moment that he had named Schuldich a bastard and declared him his mortal enemy . _

_No , there hadn't been any fisticuff that night in lieu of the sleeping Ken snoring softly in his worn bed and Schuldich had been allowed to retreat to his car with only a fatal-looking glare and a soft snarl . _

_A warning from the defeated predator . _

The whole day had been more than worth it . Schuldich had thought as he drove away . In fact , he would have suffered even more than that if he had to , if it meant that he could spend time with innocent Ken Hidaka . 

† † †

" You don't even know him for god's  Ken ! For all you know , he could be a serial killer !" Aya had exploded . 

His brother had risked being late for his job at the flowershop just to lecture him on what he could and could not do . 

" That's not true Aya . He's really nice , we had fun ." Ken objected , his face flushing in anger . 

Damnit ! Aya was a good brother , but he had a tendency to go overboard sometimes and this was definitely overdoing it .

" Fuck it Ken ! I never thought you were this stupid ! It's obvious that bastard only wants to jump in your pants . Haven't you heard of seduction ? Godamnit why are you so blind ?!" Aya glared at Ken , his pale and furious face just inches from his brother's . 

Ken took a deep breath and tried to keep himself calm . " I'm old enough to know what's right and wrong , Aya . I'm eighteen years old and legally an adult . I know what I'm doing ." 

" What if you had gotten sick while you were with him ? He wouldn't know what to do . God , Ken . You know you've just come out of that fever and still you had to tag along with him when you very well know you weren't strong enough ." 

Aya broke away and started pacing angrily across the bleak living room , his normally pale face flushed as his pursed his wan lips tightly .

Ken knew well enough that Aya had fallen back on that argument because he felt that his suspicions alone on Schuldich couldn't force Ken to forget about him . In fact, it was plain to both of them  that Ken had no intention of relinquishing his only friend at the moment . 

" But I'm stronger now , aren't I ? In fact , I feel better than I ever have in a long time . Spending the day outside of this apartment or out of that crummy hospital did me a lot of good ." He said as a matter of factly . There was no way he was going to let Aya bully him away from Schuldich . No way in hell . 

Aya walked away , his back turned to his younger brother who was leaning against the table . 

" If you wanted to go out ..." He said softly , his eyes trained on the bleak , lifeless wall in front of him ; his rough hands hidden in his jeans pockets . " Why didn't you just ask me ? You almost killed me with worry , didn't you know ? "

*

The truth was , Aya was jealous of Schuldich . He was jealous of him because he had succeeded in giving Ken what Aya could not manage to provide . He put back the genuine smile on Ken's face – a smile that Aya could never incur . 

Ever since their parents had died , Aya had tried his best to make available all of Ken's needs . Ken was his only remaining family and Aya was willing to sacrifice anything just to make him happy ; and he had done just that . 

He knew Ken wanted to finish college – he knew that Ken had so many beautiful dreams , but even his best wasn't enough . No matter how hard he worked , no matter how many hours he spent breaking his back , he could never earn enough money to give Ken what he needed . 

His only ambition was to make Ken happy , for them to live in a beautiful apartment and spend Christmas with a feast on the table . He wanted to be able to put Ken through his schooling , to pay for his books , for his clothes , food . To be able to ward the pain away ... 

... and then , a stranger who had entered their lives just five days ago had managed to steal Ken away from him and do what Aya could not do .

Aya felt a pair of arms around him , encircling his torso and resting on gently his chest . " I'm sorry Aya ." Ken whispered , his voice muffled against Aya's back . 

Ken was sincere . He had never lied before and Aya was sure this apology was indeed heartfelt . Suddenly , he felt guilty for being such a selfish bastard . 

" No ... I'm sorry Ken . For being selfish . If it makes you happy , then you can go out with him any time you want . I just ... I don't want you to get hurt . People don't understand –"

" I know ... I know ..." Ken whispered , as he laid his head against his brother's strong back . 

Aya had just wanted to look out for him , Ken knew that . He loved his brother , no matter what . 

Aya felt the warmth of his brother's cheek permeate to his back and closed his eyes . Sometimes , he just couldn't say no .

Ken's sole attention and devotion was just one more thing he had to give up – for Ken's sake . 

† † †

**Dan : hiyaaaaa !! ^__^ I'm glad to 'see' a new face around here ! **

**Isil : AyaxYohji ? _*strokes chin thoughtfully* _I'll think about that . ^__^**

**Ketty : Arigatou ! ^__^**

**Mariki :** I'm sorry the update on Cry of the Captive has been taking forever ! I'm just a little busy nowadays ! (U__U);; Yup ! Another SchuxKen . Would you happen to know anyone who's willing to co-write it with me ? Hmmmm  Side B , so far is good . Of course the original Weiß is still the best for me but it isn't so bad . It kills me though , that the story _never_ focuses on Ken . I mean , the WK series was about Aya and Omi , Gluhen about Aya , Yohji , Sena and a little Omi ... but never KENNNNN ! _*wails*_

**Ran Mouri :** Waaaai ! _*lol*_ Bwahahahaha ! _*points at Schuldich with a scythe-wielding Ran Mouri at his heels*_ Look at him go ! _*lol*_ Schuldich's hair is FULL of preservatives and colorants in my humble opinion ! ^__~

**Jenken :** He couldn't ne ? Is it THAT obvious that SchuxKen is my favorite pairing ? _*waves a huge , gargantuan , mammoth , colossal , titanic SchuxKen flag*_

**Whisper Reilman :** *cackles* I bet you didn't expect that ne ? But good 'ol Farfie seems so _right_ to me in an ocean park – for some bizarre reason . Sorry for the one day overdue ! ^___~

**Kaen-chan :** *lol at the fweeing* O___O 

R_M _: *climbs over the counter , pats Ka-chan and throws value meals at Ken while Schuldich glares at her* _

Schu : You psychopathic b*t*h ! _*points angrily at R_M*_

I'll get you for this !!! 

_*is overrun by screaming McDonald's fangirls and a pile of writhing fangirls slides out of the door with Schuldich underneath*_

R_M : Now , _*rubs hands*_ with him out of the picture ... *turns evil eyes at Ken* Bwahahahaha !!!

**Brizey :** Whoopee ! _*beats the hell out of YohjixKen pairing*_ ^__~

**Misura :** I agree with you 100% _*lol* *wants to go to Ocean Park with Ken in tow and Farf as the tour guide*_

**Schu-chan :** Ne , I want to have a boyfriend like that too . =^__^ _*blush* _


	8. First night

The weather was dismal outside . Everywhere was just dark clouds and sheets of cold rain gushing down from the black sky . Since winter was now officially over and spring had become , they were constantly plagued with bouts of rain because of a storm . 

Schuldich partly loved the weather , partly hated it . 

He liked it somewhat because it meant that he didn't have to go to work the next day , or even that night ( being a professional photographer was just shitty ) but he also hated it because it meant that he was going to be cooped up in his condo - again , alone ... with only the TV. for company . 

He yawned and padded off barefoot to the fridge to scavenge some food . 

He was  wearing only a thin tank top and sweats because the heater was turned up to its maximum . 

Hmmm ... leftovers and beer . Damn was he starving .

He was in no mood to cook , and the city was too swamped in snow to order some takeout . So the great Schuldich had no choice but the dubious-looking leftovers .  

" Leftovers it is ." He sighed as he took the stack of Chinese takeout and dumped it in the microwave . _Ping ! _

He was about to pad off to get the beer when he heard his doorbell ring . 

He wondered who it was . As far as he knew , Yohji was out on the date (despite the damned weather) and Yohji was the only one who ever visited him at his pad .  Schuldich opened the door to see Ken standing in front of him , smiling innocently , his boots making puddles on the carpeted floor . 

" Hey kid . What're you doing here ?" He said , opening the door wider to let the brunette pass . 

" I've come to help ease the pain of going back to work tomorrow . I wanted to surprise you but I left the cardkey you gave me at home ... so , well , SURPRISE !" 

Schuldich laughed .

Ken stepped into the flat and immediately was removing his soaked boots .

It pleased Schuldich to not that Ken was wearing the ones he had bought for him . He was great kid – he didn't deserve to get his toes frozen off . 

He halted , and stared at the boy sitting on the carpet , struggling with the shoelaces and felt a warm feeling spread through his chest . _Is that the only reason ?_

He scratched his jaw and tried to ignore his own question . " I'll get you a pair of slippers ." 

With his coat off , in his comfortable faded denims and a plain shirt , Ken looked delectably eatable . 

Ken looked up and said hesitantly . " Thanks . Hey , Schu ... You don't mind do you ? Aya's off to work tonight and probably won't be back until dawn so ... well , I ... I  was getting a little lonely ." 

" Hey , hey . Of course I don't mind . You can crash here anytime you want – even if I'm not home . Did you tell your brother where you are ?" Schuldich grinned affectionately and ruffled Ken's chestnut hair . 

" Yeah ." 

" What'd you say ?" 

" That I'm going to your place . He looked like he wanted to strangle me , but he waved me off with a grunt ." Ken's eyes crinkled in suppressed laughter . 

Schuldich could tell that Ken was enjoying the joke . He grew quiet , pursing his lips together and walked off to find a pair of slippers . 

When he came back with a pair of terry slippers he rarely used , he saw Ken eyeing the leftovers in the microwave with a wrinkled nose . " Is this even fit for human consumption ?" He asked , holding up a box of soggy fried rice . 

" Yeah , well . I wasn't in the mood to do any cooking ." Schuldich tossed the slippers at the brunette's naked feet . 

" I'll cook for you if you want ." Ken's eyes were so intense , Schuldich felt that they were almost smoldering against his skin . 

" Nah . Why don't we just hang out ? I'm not that hungry anyway ." He lied . 

" I'll make you hungry . I cook great you know , just tell me what you have and I'll whip up something that can send you slobbering ." Ken joked . 

" Nothing here but pasta and ... I dunno what I have ." 

Ken laughed and rummaged liberally through his fridge . " Tomato sauce ... hmm . Yup , I can make something fit for a king !" With that , he grabbed several random items from the fridge and nudged it shut with his foot . He grabbed the apron hanging from a hook and a large spatula . 

Schuldich watched with amusement , half-doubting if this clumsy , innocent boy could whip up a gourmet meal . 

Somehow , he doubted that . 

*

" Hey , what you grinning there like an idiot for ? Shoo ! Go ahead and watch the tube . I'll be around in a few ... and don't bother me here !" Ken made shooing motions with his free hand and the spatula . 

Chuckling , Schuldich moved off to the living room and promptly plopped on the couch with the remote control . He could barely keep himself from laughing out loud when he heard a clatter of pans and a loud curse . " Ouch ! Damnit !" 

" Anything wrong ?" He called out , trying to keep his voice level , craning his neck to get a view around the large recliner . 

" No ... everything's just ... hey ! What the – " He heard the sound of sizzling , as if something was boiling too much . " Everything's great !" Another clang and the sound of the flame roaring into the air . 

Schuldich chortled and tried to concentrate on the news segment in front of him , something about a major earthquake somewhere in California but he couldn't quite succeed , not when he heard some sort of banging from the kitchen . " Need help ?" He called out again . 

" Nah ! I'm almost through !" 

For a few minutes , normalcy returned , not a bang or clatter came from the kitchen and a pleasant aroma wafted to the place where he was sitting , lounged on the Moroccan couch . 

He heard the sound of the table being set and a moment later , " Everything's ready Schu !" 

He bit back a smile and gravely approached the table , half-expecting to see a culinary disaster ; but he was taken aback to see a perfect meal set in the middle . 

" What's that ?" He managed to choke out in his surprise . He desperately wanted to wipe his jaw off the floor but , well , he didn't exactly think that the little rascal could pull it off .

Ken gurgled in pride . " Pasta Primavera ." He declared , gesturing for Schuldich to sit down as he grabbed some bottles of Coca Cola from the fridge . 

Schuldich forked a bite into his mouth and nodded appreciatively . " Mmmm ...  Where'd you learn to cook like this ?" 

" Papa used to teach me , he was a cook before at some famous restaurant . I cook like this for Aya all the time . Bet'ya didn't think I could make anything , did'ja ?" Ken teased . He raised his eyebrows comically .

" Well , I was a little bit skeptical ..." Schuldich started mischievously . " Hey ! why's there only one plate here ?" 

" I made just enough for you . I already had dinner ." Ken eased himself on a chair across Schuldich , his cheeks flushed bright in pride as he watched Schuldich savor the food .

" No way Jose ! You're going to eat with me , kid . Whether you want to or not ." Schuldich asserted , as he stood up to get another plate . 

" Hey ! I'm fine , really !"

Schuldich grinned playfully . " Well , you are at least going to taste your cooking ." With that , he spun some pasta around the silver fork and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively . " Come on . Eat your dinner ." He cooed jokingly , as if dealing with a small child instead of a teenager . How strange it was , being able to talk like that to a boy he had just met – .

Ken laughed heartily and relented . " All right ... hey , it's not half as bad as I thought ." 

" Yeah , not bad ." Schuldich agreed . " You could make a living with this ." 

Outside , the wind howled louder . 

" Listen , I'd better go ." Ken said suddenly as he hurried to the door . 

" It's crazy outside , you won't be able to wade through all that snow ." Schuldich said , leaning against the frame of the door . 

" But Aya ..." 

" Why don't you just call your brother at work and tell him you'll be staying here for the night . After all , you're with a friend , aren't you ?" 

Ken looked a bit uncertain , his grey eyes clouded with doubt . 

" Come on . It'll be fun . I promise I'd drive you home first thing in the morning , you told me yourself you don't have classes tomorrow ." Schuldich offered . 

" You don't mind ?" 

Schuldich said firmly " No , I don't ." With that , he took the damp coat from Ken's arms and hanged it back on the rack . He shoved Ken back lightly towards the living room like a little child . " Go on , kid . Make yourself comfy ." 

He smiled and reclaimed the still-steaming plate of past from the table and padded off to the couch where Ken was sitting awkwardly on the spot that he had been just a few minutes ago . His heart constricted again and he choked down a delicious bite of pasta and collapsed beside the brunette . 

" What'd you wanna watch , kid ?" 

" I dunno ." 

Schuldich changed the channel to a soccer game and watched Ken's eyes light up suddenly as he wolfed down the remainder of the pasta . 

He kept his eyes surreptitiously more on the animated face beside him rather than the loud game roaring on the tube . 

He had to admit to himself the truth ; Schuldich never tried to fool himself ; he was growing fond of the kid – in a way that he had never encountered before .

***

They watched  the television in silence , Ken was so absorbed in the game that he seemed to have forgotten where he was ; only hearing the roar of the crowd and seeing the spectacular stunts of the players . His eyes danced in concentration , seeming to absorb every movement , every swerve . 

Schuldich stole away to dump the dishes into the dishwasher . When he tiptoed back to the couch , Ken was already asleep , leaning gently against the arm of the couch , his eyes closed peacefully as if he was trying to keep awake to finish the game . 

A warm smile spread Schuldich's lips , gently , he took the remote and switched the television off . 

But he couldn't very well leave the kid to sleep on the couch , could he ? But his condo only had one bed – so ... 

Well . 

He gently picked the sleeping boy in his arms and was amazed by how light he was . He didn't look it , but he was as weightless as a child . 

Schuldich smiled softly to himself . Ken looked so _right_ , curled up in his arms . It was as if he was_ made _to be there , like a part of a carving missing before now ... 

He nudged the door open and laid the brunette lightly on the king-sized bed , covered him with his black comforter and turned off the lamp . 

Looked like he was going to camp out on the couch for the night . 

He was about to turn back towards the living room when he heard a small voice mutter . " Cold ..." 

Schuldich brushed his long hair back and tucked the thick blanket further but the brunette continued to shiver in his sleep under the feeble light from the living room . 

Maybe he still was cold . 

Maybe . 

Schuldich sighed softly as he crawled into bed and hugged the frail body tightly . 

Maybe he could keep him warm for the night . 

Just for the night . 

It wasn't long before he fell into a deep sleep , with beautiful dreams of spring and a certain brunette laughing at his side . 

                                                           † † †

**Mariki : Pythia ? Sounds like a Greek mythology character (^__^) Thanks anyway . 3-5 eps ? Well , if you want Kenken action , it's all in episode four and five . That's about every episode that focuses on Ken ... T_~ *mutters* Damned Takehito , he never gives enough attention to Tomokazu Seki . Yay for AyaxKen brotherly mush !**

**Kaen-chan : Nope , never feed before ... ^__^ but I can start the habit ! *lol* Really ? I've never thought it to be heart-warming and stuff . I didn't actually plan it to turn out like that – but I'm not complaining , seeing that you guys actually like the fluff ! ^__~ _*points at Schuldich*_ YESSSS I AGREE WITH AYA ! YOU CRADLE ROBBER ! **

Schuldich : AM NOT ! WHY YOU LITTLE –

R_M : _*__wags her finger*_ uh-uh-uhhhhh , don't you forget , I AM the fic writer here , I just might decide to make this an incest fic with KenxAya and not KenxSchu .

Schuldich : _*sucks up*_ Awww... you know I didn't mean that , Redemption . *fake smile* 

R_M : _*Evil grin*_ Bwehehe ... _*kicks him on the head*_ You're not complaining are you ?

Schuldich : No , of course not _*is secretly fuming and planning his revenge*_

R_M :_ *kicks him again on the head* _Good ! ^__^

**Brizey : Arigatou ! ^__^ This is a little longer than the last and I hope you liked it ! **

**Jenken : He probably will be , let's see ne ? ^__^ _*is glomped* _Waiiii ! _*glomps Jenken back*_**

**Dan : Yes he IS !!!! O_____O *_jumps up and down*_ I'm so excited for him to appear !!! It will be a cameo appearance but he'll play a BIGBIG role . About Nagi and Omi ... I haven't really thought about it . (I'm not a major fan of NagixOmi _*coughs*_... or AnyonexOmi for that matter) _*huggles Dan*_**

**Misura : I absolutely agree with you . _*nodsnods*_ I really see Aya as the kind big brother type . I enjoy writing the confrontations as well , tho . ^__~ Maybe you'll see a little more of that ... or maybe not . _*nudgenudge and winks*_**

**Whisper Reilman : YOUUUUU ! *points at Whisper* YOUUUUU ! *runs and jumps into Whisper's arms* ARIGATOU for taking time out to review ! I saw the reviews for Cry of the Captive and I was soooo happy to see you around again . It just seems like you're soooo busy these past few weeks(?) that I'm really flattered that you bothered to review my humble ficcies ! So to you , _*truckload of pocky and bunny mittens appear from out of nowhere* _I give you the grand prize of all the grand prizes!!!! _*glomps*_ Actually , I enjoy them being mortal enemies too . It puts the spice into the story , sort of like a redhead battle in Celebrity Deathmatch ! *LOL* ^_____^**

*NOTICE* 

To all Cry of the Captive readers , I would just like to tell you that the fic is now on a short-term hiatus . Due to the fact that I'm almost losing my brain because of all the work and stuff I have to do , I probably would have to crawl the next chapter out . Don't worry though , it probably wouldn't take _too_ long . 

Thanks .


	9. Waking up to a perfect scene

The snow had stopped its torrential downpour before dawn and for a short time , the clouds had cleared from the sky . The sun was already filtering cheerfully into the room , dappling everything with golden light . 

Schuldich woke slowly from a pleasant dream ; popping one jade eye open , and then another , momentarily disoriented and thinking that he was still hunched over his desk at the office before he blinked his eyes still fogged with sleep . " Damn ." he muttered groggily , " Forgot to close the curtains ..." He yawned and was about to stumble out of bed when he remembered that he didn't have to go to work . 

With a drowsy half-grin , he snuggled back into bed but stiffened when his back hit something soft ... something solid . 

_Definitely not a pillow . _

He turned and met a shock of chestnut hair , just slightly visible above the covers .

A slow smile spread on his face when the bedcovers slid slightly downwards to reveal a certain brunette , sleeping serenely and looking much younger than his eighteen years .

He looked perfect . 

Schuldich crawled gently out of bed and stole to his desk where he had placed his camera the night before . He was aware of the strangeness of having an obsession with taking pictures . He had never had a passion for photography before , but now , here he was , always finding himself itching for his camera early in the morning when Ken was around . 

Adjusting the lens and pulling the curtains wider to allow just the perfect amount of light , he snapped a picture and then another and another , all from different angles and perspectives , until the roll of thirty-six was consumed and his camera refused to obey him . 

The brunette stirred from under the bedcovers , apparently disturbed by the sound . When he opened his beautiful eyes and saw Schuldich , a faint smile working up his features ; like someone waking up to the sight of a good friend or lover . 

Schuldich was surprised by how domestic it all seemed . It was as if they had known each other forever , and they had been living together for years . Like an old married couple .

He grinned . 

It struck him how strange it was – for him to fall for a boy so young – so guileless , nearly eleven years his junior ; he had always been so concerned with his image ... going out with glamorous men and women alike , mostly supermodels of every sort ; being seen with the rich and famous ... but he had never felt this comfortable waking up with someone else in his bed , even though it was all innocent . 

" _Guten morgen , mein schatz_ ." He said cheerfully as the brunette stretched , seeming at ease with the environment ... and the situation they were in – not at all bothered with the fact that he woke up in Schuldich's bed and the said redhead was half-naked and taking photographs of him so early in the morning . 

Schuldich wondered if he wasn't really troubled by those facts at all – or it still hadn't registered in his sleep-fogged mind . 

" What'd you say ?" He asked , obviously still half-asleep . 

" I said , 'good morning' in German ." Schuldich translated , omitting to translate the latter words . He replaced the camera on the desk – he was going to develop them himself later . He flicked open his cigarette case and lit a stick . 

So , he had finally and openly admitted to himself that Ken was indeed starting to mean something to him . 

" You sleep good ?" 

" Yeah . I think I gripped you too tight last night , maybe you got cramps ." Ken apologized ; he wrinkled his nose at the cigarette . " You know , that thing can kill you ." 

Ken knew they had slept together and he wasn't freaking out ! " Well , we all have to die sometime ..." Schuldich uttered . 

Ken's eyes glazed slightly , but soon , he grinned as he looked up at the redhead with a large yawn . " You want some breakfast ? I'm willing to cook gourmet eggs sunny side up and bacon ."

" Thanks ... but I'll cook . I owe you a meal , don't I ?" 

Ken shifted silently and propped himself partly up on his elbows on the bed and gazed at Schuldich with his beautiful grey eyes . " Listen , Schuldich ... there's something I have to tell you ..." 

Schuldich was suddenly disconcerted by the uncertainty and discomfort he saw in marking those depths . His lopsided grin faded slightly , suddenly apprehensive without wanting to show it . It was so unlike the Ken he knew . 

He put the cigarette on the large crystal ashtray that sat beside his camera and folded his hands against his chest , a brow raised in puzzlement. 

" The thing is ..." Ken looked down at his restless hands , a bit embarrassed . 

_Should he tell Schuldich ? Now ? _

Schuldich slowly took a seat on the edge of the bed and raked the tangled mass of his auburn hair with his fingers , trying to make some semblance of order in those fiery waves . " Ken ?" He asked gently and leaned down to get a clear look at Ken's face . 

Sunlight streamed from the window and danced on the brunette's , emphasizing the  faint tinge of red marking his cheeks . 

_Why was he blushing ? _

" I don't know how to tell you this ... we ... I mean ... we've known ... each other for just a short time ... but – well , I think ..." 

Schuldich smiled and took Ken's hands gently in his own ; maybe he knew what the brunette was trying to say – because he felt the same thing as well . 

" I love you , Ken ." he said gently , his hands brushed on Ken's shoulder and out of the blue , without any warning , he was pulling the slighter frame against his chest  .

Ken's eyes widened in disbelief , in surprise but also in relief and elation . A thousand emotions coursed through his body , each one fighting for supremacy . 

Schuldich loved him ! 

He had been so afraid to tell Schuldich , he didn't know if the redhead would take the news lightly ; if he was going to throw Ken out of his apartment and tell him that he never wanted to see him again ... but ... Schuldich felt the same way ! 

He had never felt this happy in his life . He had never felt safer ; never been so close to forgetting that ... 

" Was that what you were trying to tell me ?" Schuldich looked meaningfully into his eyes , his own jade eyes seemed so mesmerizing . Ken had never seen eyes so green like Schuldich before . 

He nodded , still unable to find the right words to say . He opened his lips , but no words came out . A nervous smile graced his lips as he lost himself in the unfathomable depths of the emerald pools . 

Schuldich could no longer restrain himself , all the hours of deep thought that he had spent just pondering about what he really felt , all the unspent emotion that had lain dormant in him for years , he yearned to release . He yearned for those soft lips . 

Without warning , he leaned forward and captivated Ken's lips with his own , mesmerized by their tenderness and colour and basked in their delicious taste . 

Ken relaxed in his arms as the kiss grew deeper , intensifying , and it seemed like a beautiful eternity before they separated to gasp for breath . 

Dear Lord . He loved this man-boy . He loved his perfection and his innocence ; his generosity , his guilelessness . He loved everything about him ! 

" I guess I've been afraid to admit that to you myself . But the truth is , Ken Hidaka , I love you – whether you like it or not ." 

Ken laughed softly as he gazed into Schuldich's earnest face . 

Life was bliss . He wanted to skip going to work that day and kiss Ken all day long . 

                                                          † † †

FF.net has been having problems for two whole days now , maybe longer .  I hope it gets fixed soon . 

**Brizey : Nope , the hiatus on Cry of the Captive probably won't take too long . I'm trying to write a phrase or two a day ! _*lol*_ I can't believe that I'm so busy I can't even write a whole page . ^__^**

**Rosethorn : Hello there ! I'm glad this is the first Schu/Ken fic you've ever seen ! _*jumps*_ O__O;; _*shrieks* _OUT OF THE BED ROSIE !!! OUT ! ^__^**

Schu : We could do a threesome if you like . 

Ken : WHAT ???!!!

Schu : _*trying to appease the brunette* _I was kidding ! Just kidding ! _*awkward grin*_

**Whisper Reilman : Hmmm... I think Aya would win . He has a sword after all . And he likes to 'shi ne' . His shout alone is fatal . Of course Schuldich has his gun and his voice . Now _that_ could kill . Really ? You make me happy by being happy ! ^___^ Strangely though , I've never tasted pocky ! I've never even seen one ! How DOES it taste and what DOES it look like anyway !? ^__~**

**Mariki : I don't think so ! Hmmm. Maybe Takehito pays attention to Seki , but that doesn't mean he gives a damn about Ken !(Who , by the way , I love better than Seki but I like Seki coz he's got this damn cute voice –yuphedoeshaveagoodsingingvoice - and he's still the seiyuu of Ken after all) Whew . Just a small itsybitsy trivia . Ken is my perfect guy . Really . I mean it . I'll probably look for a boe like him . ^__^ Ken's story SHOULD BE NEXT or I'll STORM to Takehito's office and shi ne HIM !!! _*coughnoincestcough*_**

**Misura : _*runs away at the squealing*_ Hypers ! O___O;; and innocence ??!! You're right , I can't imagine that word describing Schuldich . O___O;; *lol at that* That's not silly at all . Sometimes little things can make our lives happier . Even this uh humble fic . _*grinz*_ ^__^**

**Jenken : I guess he didn't spaz out too much ne ? _*lol* _Schu for a blanket _*lol*_ I can imagine a sheet-thin Schu snuggling on top of a sleeping Ken . _*oooohs and awwwws*_**

**Dan : Yup he's gonna appear ! Wait for him in the next chapter . It's gonna be the basis of the next SIX chapters ! YUP ! SIS ! (don't I make you guys sick ! O__O;;) *lol* _*glomps Dan*_**

**Ran Mouri : _*LOLLLLL*_ Oh nooo ! Crawford seems to haunt all of my fics lately ! ^__^ even Ken's ... Ken's ... waaaaah _*glomps Crawford*_**

**Anna Hibiki : They do ne ? ^___^ Schu's soooo sweet and Ken's soooo perfect ... _*sighs dreamily* _**


	10. Certain disaster

Schuldich walked off the elevator with a large grin plastered wide on his face and greeted his assistants good morning . He was obviously a hell of a lot happier than he was on most days ; that they could tell just by looking at him . 

Yes , the good people of Weiss&Schwarz Agency had looked at him as he had been possessed by an evil demon from one of Jupiter's satellite moons . 

He had chirped his 'good morning' to a dumbfounded Yohji and had barely placed his things on the desk when the man converged on him with a barrage of questions about his 'vacation' and Ken Hidaka .

He laughed them off so nonchalantly , blatantly with no intention of divulging any secrets unless threatened with a flame-thrower , so that Yohji , exasperated , had changed the topic to the newest project . 

Yohji sat on the edge of Schuldich's desk , his nose wrinkled in annoyance at Schuldich's jollity – he wasn't used to seeing the redhead like this ... it was just too … well , too _strange_ . 

" ... so I told them you wouldn't be back until today . And then , the company president , Brad Crawford – he's an American I think – insisted that he was going to talk to you himself . He said that this was the biggest project their company was going to launch and he wanted you to cover it ." Yohji folded his arms while Schuldich bustled on , only half-listening to his speech . 

When he saw that the redhead was at least lending him an ear , he rambled on   
" Naturally , I told him that I'd ask you if you would , that your schedule was packed for the next month – which is true by the way , I have tons of projects for you – he said ' Nonsense , I'll talk to Mr. Schwarz Monday afternoon .' like he owned the whole world and then just put down the phone on me . The son of a bitch ." 

Schuldich raised an eyebrow . He had no mind to deal with a prick right now when he was just feeling euphoric about both Ken's and his' confession earlier ; the asshole would probably just deflate his balloon . 

Yohji continued ." That guy is intimidating , man , but he's also going to pay us a helluva lot of money to cover that op ; so don't screw it up . He'll be around at about three – don't pull another one of your disappearing acts ." He fixed Schuldich a long , stern look over his characteristic sunglasses .

Schuldich held up his hands in surrender . " Alright , alright . I won't . Besides , Ken said he was going to help Aya around today anyway , the place where he works is a little short today , the other guy quit ." 

" Hey , I didn't ask for the life story of your little love interest so don't pummel me with all the details . Just make sure you snag that deal with Crawford and I'll forgive you for taking off for three whole weeks ." But there was a little twinkle in his eye . 

Yohji might seem a little aloof at the most . He was , at face value , the biggest playboy in the face of the fucking planet – but he did care for Schuldich as a good friend ... which was why he was glad that for once , he was wrong about how it would turn out , and was still hoping that he wouldn't be wrong .

" Yeah , it's in the bag . Waitaminute ... I think I've met the bastard before ..." Schuldich rubbed his jaw _,  Hmmm ..._ the stubble of a beard rubbed roughly against his fingertips – so maybe he had forgotten to shave . The hell , like anyone cared anyway . 

He hit his fist on his palm in a gesture of discovery ." Aha ! That smug asshole was my classmate in college ." He snickered at the memory . " He had come on to me strong one night while we were off getting drunk at a frat party . Don't worry , man . The big fish is in the bag ! Just a little of that Schwarz charm would get him peeing in his pants ." Schuldich said haughtily , a slight smirk on his face . 

Yohji laughed as he clapped Schuldich on the back . " You better man , or I'll bust your ass ." 

† † †

The meeting with Brad Crawford was strictly professional . If the American could be any colder , he would be frozen solid . 

Schuldich now remembered why he'd hated him so much in college .

The man was an accomplished ice cube with a mile-long stick up his ass . 

Immediately , Schuldich was contriving ways to get rid of him as soon as humanly possible . 

Crawford gave him a steely nod as he towered through the door , dominating the room and drawing every eye in the floor towards him like some strange magnet . 

True , he was good-looking , with patrician features and aristocratic bearing . He had impeccable tastes in clothes as well – Schuldich recognized the expensive Savile Row suit that he was wearing from a recent project he had covered . 

" ... do you understand everything . Mr. Schuldich ?" The man's voice was icy cold , as if every syllable was like touching a warthog's ass or something . He was watching Schuldich with a smug detachedness that made Schuldich want to pummel the man . 

Certainly he realized that he , in a far lifetime and in the pre-Ken Hidaka world , had also been like this and he now knew why his colleagues hated him so much – behind his back of course . 

" Perfectly ." He nodded and kept himself from rolling his eyes . He glanced at his watch impatiently . Is the man ever going to leave ? He couldn't wait to go to Ken's and have dinner out . He just heard of this great place along the downtown boulevard serving fantastic seafood . Ken loved seafood . 

" There are still some details that require to be processed ..."

_/What's this , a cheese factory ?/_

" But it seems like your other people are leaving ." 

" Maybe we could talk about it tomorrow ." Schuldich offered ; honestly , he was ready to kill for the opportunity to ditch the asshole . 

" I'm afraid I shall be too busy tomorrow , I have a tight Schedule for the next two weeks , I won't be able to meet with you nor your editor until the product launching itself ." Crawford's eyes sized him up almost clinically . 

Damn . He had really wanted to go out with Ken tonight and talk about ... well , talk about _them_ over dinner – but this bastard was making it impossible for him .

" Maybe we could talk about it over dinner ." 

" I distaste public places ." 

_Distaste huh ?_ _Only a prick would use that word in a normal conversation ._ " Then –" He hesitated , he didn't want to bring the sonuvabitch to his place but there obviously was no other choice , it was either that or a kick on the ass from Yohji . 

" Maybe we could go to my flat ." He said almost grudgingly . 

The midnight-haired man nodded approvingly . " Good . My chauffer will follow you to your ..." Crawford said the word with mild aversion " ... flat ." 

Schuldich almost snorted in derision _. It's worse than I thought , I thought Hitler was the worst . Hell , was I wrong ._

" Yeah . I'll be in a black Beemer ." 

" Beemer ?" 

" BMW ." _Was this guy spitted out from the Bermuda Triangle or what ?_

Crawford had disappeared immediately , as if another minute spent with Schuldich was like scrubbing a wild boar's backside . 

With an angry breath , Schuldich grabbed his keys and headed for his car . He didn't give a damn if Crawford and his stupid chauffer didn't know where his car was , if he wouldn't be able to follow him , then maybe he could still salvage that dinner with Ken .

Ah , that was a better idea . 

***

Unfortunately , the Fates were against it . The long white limousine trailed his car the moment he turned to the street . 

He wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel and force the limo off a cliff before calling Yohji on his car phone to report that he had seen a ten-wheeler truck run over Crawford's body as he was walking down the street with a half-drunk pimp .

He resisted the urge and instead gritted his teeth as he drove off in a mad dash towards the part of the city where his flat was . 

***

They rode the elevator in silence , Crawford maintaining a repulsed distance away from him and his boots and stud earring . The man obviously couldn't accept interaction with anything less than authentic leather dress shoes and gold Rolexes . Schuldich guessed that his chauffer was still outside , waiting in the limo and he couldn't wait to get rid of him .

" Please excuse the place , it's a bit of a mess ." He apologized insincerely , his lips barely managing to keep their ridiculous curve upward . He slid the card through the slot and grumpily pushed open the door . 

All he got in reply was a raised eyebrow . The man was less than impressed by his spacious apartment . He remembered how Ken had reacted to seeing his duplex and his lips twitched .

" Make yourself comfortable , I'll get us some booze . What'd you like ?" Schuldich tossed his keys on the counter as he turned to look at his guest who had already seated himself regally on one of the large Moroccan chairs . " Brandy please ." 

As he was getting the brandy and a beer , he noticed that Crawford was looking at his duplex with a critical eye , as if examining every fault in it . 

_/ Let him examine . At least I don't have cocaine lying around ./_

" Here , your brandy ." He handed Crawford the glass and took a swig from the bottle of ice-cold beer , still remaining on his feet . He wasn't about to take a seat and let the man have an advantage over him by intimidation . 

" Thank you ." 

" So , what're we supposed to talk about ?" He slugged his beer brutally as he half-glared , half-smirked at his guest . 

Crawford gazed at him for a moment without saying a word . " I should suppose that you remember our little – escapade several years ago ?" 

_The hell was he talking about ? They were supposed to talk business goddamnit ! _

He wanted to get rid of the prick right then and there . " Yeah , in the Phi Beta Kappa* frat house ." He said carelessly . 

" Then you remember what had transpired ?" A perfect brow was raised pointedly . 

" Yeah , I guess ." Schuldich shrugged , not really seeing the point of the conversation . 

He took another swig and felt the liquid settle on his stomach . 

Hmm . 

Maybe he should stop drinking , he thought , when he saw that he had already emptied half of it . He hadn't eaten after all and it took only a little to get a hungry man drunk . 

He glanced again at Crawford and downed the rest of the bottle's contents . 

Then again , he needed alcohol to deal with this prick or he'd go pretty insane . 

He popped the cap of another bottle and gulped half of it in one go as easy as if he was swigging water .  

Crawford had already placed his glass on the tabletop and was standing in front of him , towering several inches over the redhead . 

Schuldich's vision was spinning as he looked at the empty bottles on the glass surface . 

What ? _Eight already_ ?! Or was that ten ? He couldn't be sure because they were all spinning steadily around and around . That slimeball Crawford had been handing him beer all the while !

" Srro ?" he slurred . He swaggered a little and had to steady himself against one of the chairs .

Crawford's voice was soft and soothing in Schuldich's ears , it was as if the man was lulling him to sleep . " I couldn't forget about you ." 

" Huh ?" Before he knew what was happening , his face had been captured by Crawford's smooth hands and he was dizzily staring at the placid face of the tall foreigner . 

" Do you remember ? How good it felt ? Do you remember the feeling , Schuldich ?" Crawford was kissing him now , hungry little kisses that felt as if it were devouring him with every contact . __

_So what if they'd had sex ? It had seemed fine that time when they had locked themselves in the second floor bathroom . They both liked it and forgot about it . The only people who had been against it are the guys who had to puke all over the toilet bowl . _

It had been a one-night fling . Crawford had totally ignored him after that and avoided him like the plague . 

The room spun , Schuldich knew he had to regain control , but he couldn't push the American away . His limbs refused to react . 

He could taste the strong taste of brandy still lingering in Crawford's mouth , and he couldn't help but compare to the sweet flavor he had tasted in Ken just that morning , in that sweet little chaste kiss they'd had . 

_What the hell was he thinking ?! He had to stop this right now !!!_

He pushed the American again , with more force , the man stumbled a bit , but hadn't let go of his face . 

He had to ... 

They fell onto the soft carpet , Crawford pinning him under his weight . Schuldich struggled to push him off ; but his limbs were malfunctioning , it seemed ; and his arms didn't exert as much accurate force as he'd intended . 

He sniggered a little , if he wasn't seeing it with his own eyes , he probably wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't seeing it with his own eyes , (hiccup) hmmm... maybe that was a little redudundanted * ... maybe that was a little – the sight of Crawford and his expensive white suit rolling on the floor like a little dizzy puppy was admittedly an entertaining sight . 

Suddenly , the tapering fingers was flying over the buckle of his pants , under his shirt , they were everywhere ! 

Crawford hadn't stopped his exploring kisses . 

Schuldich wanted to punch the man right there , but he couldn't  tell which of the spinning faces was the real Crawford . 

He heard glass break . Despite the haze of alcohol , his mind miraculously managed to register a coherent thought . 

_/ Damn . We broke something !/_

When he glanced sideways , he saw the expression of shock in Ken's face as he stood , framed by the doorway , then the expression was followed by one of pain . 

And like a vision , he was gone , leaving the shattered remains of two wine glasses dotting the carpet and a broken glass of red wine sputtering its contents on the expensive carpet .

_/Holy shit !/_

Crawford had also seemed surprised by the rude interruption enough to allow Schuldich to push him off and stagger off , fixing his belt . 

He was more than sober now , even though he was more than aware of the reeking alcohol in his breath . 

***

By the time the elevator had reached the lobby and he had burst into the sidewalk – Ken had disappeared into the night , leaving without a trace .

**Schu-chan : Yes . -_-;; FF.net HAS been experiencing quite a lot problems this past two weeks but hopefully , everything's fine now . (perhaps that is the reason why only five people reviewed the last chappie ?) I'm sorry to have skipped past your question , I just couldn't find a spot to write a KenAya brotherly mush conversation .**

**Dan : Hey , the place where I live is awfully poor in anime too . I kinda envy the other places where they can get manga and stuff easily . The solution ?! SURF THE NET FOR SCANLATIONS ! Besides , I think Brazil is a beautiful place (though I've never been there) And you have Ronaldo and Rivaldo too (Yes , I am a soccer fan)   -__-;;**

**Rosethorn : Hmmm ? What comment ? O_O;; (silly me , I don't even know what I write !) _*LOL at the SchuxTot fanfic*_**

**Mariki :** No ? T__T *wails* oh ... ^__^ don't worry so much about it . Thank you for the thought though , ^__~ Yes , I have been indulging in scanlations recently and I've been mooning over the Side B mangas ! ^__^ Yes ! I AM now working on Cry of the Captive ! I'm juggling it around with everything else ! ^__^

**Ketty :** _*bows* _Arigatou !!! I'm happy to see you around ! ^__^

**Anna Hibiki :** I'm guessing you didn't find this chappie kawaii ... at ALL . O_O;; I can't answer your first question , and this is the answer to your second . Don't kill me . PLEASE ! T__T;; I'm guessing you regretted what you said ?


	11. After the storm

He rode the elevator to his apartment impatiently , Crawford too had cleared out of his flat , but he didn't give a damn . Someday he was going to get even for screwing around with him , but he didn't have the time right now .

He grabbed the keys to his Beemer and ran to the still-open elevator . 

_How could he let that happen ? How could he let his guard down even for a minute with that spawn of the devil . _

_Dear God ! Had Ken seen everything ? _

He rubbed his temples , annoyed at the beginnings of a very bad migraine . With a soft frustrated growl , he jumped into his car and roared off . 

                                                               † † †

He recognized the peaceful little street with the bright lampposts filtering the whole place with yellow light immediately . It was as if his mind latched on to the sight . 

He could almost hear the domestic sounds in the battered yet cheery houses and the different duplex buildings .

The two-story apartment was dark . Not one light shone through the lifeless windows of the battered brick building . Was anybody even home ? 

He didn't care .

He pounded against the door ; the whole street was probably sleeping , but he didn't give a shit . 

" Ken ! Open up ! Let me explain !" 

Lights had started to blink open in the other houses and disgruntled occupants leaned out their windows in apparent annoyance . 

" Ken ! I have to explain !" He roared , trying to mask the desperation in his voice . Ken had to know the truth , he really didn't have anything to do with Crawford coming on to him – he had been thinking of Ken the whole day ! 

" Hey ! Could you keep that racket down ." A frail old man shouted from one of the windows . Even a quaint area like this had people who had tempers too . 

" Open up ! I won't stop until I get to talk to you ! I'll shout here until morning if I have to !" Schuldich yelled . His temple was beaded with sweat , and his knuckles were growing raw with thumping on the unsympathetic wood door , but to hell with all that .

" Ken ! PLEASE !" 

The door was flung open and he was suddenly face to face with a livid and blazing Aya . 

The other's violet eyes seemed to be spitting fire as he glared at Schuldich murderously . " Go away ." he growled menacingly , his millimeter-smaller frame towering over Schuldich's as if by ignoble magic .  

Schuldich wasn't going to allow himself to be deterred . He peered over Aya's shoulder and glimpsed Ken sobbing softly on the stairs . " It wasn't how it looked ! I had no control !" He yelled . 

Ken seemed as if he didn't hear a word of what Schuldich said . He gazed listlessly , as if he was still waking from a dream as he leaned against the wall of the stairs . 

Aya shoved him forcefully , causing him to stagger backwards a little . " Get away from my brother you asshole ." There was murder in his voice . 

" Ken ! Listen to me !" Schuldich tried to shove him away , but the other redhead did not budge an inch . 

" You have no right to demand anything from my brother you bastard !!!" Aya snarled , looking as if he was ready to smash Schuldich's brains onto the sidewalk .  " You ~played~ with him . F-U-C-K  O-F-F ." 

Schuldich tried to make his way past Aya , but the man couldn't be bulged .   
" Goddamnit ! Let me through !" 

**

His teeth rattled with the force of Aya's fist making contact with his jaw and from that moment , instinct kicked in  . 

He recoiled – and he punched Aya back , hitting the perfect spot right on his nose . His hand shot out , grabbing Aya by the shirt , tearing the worn fabric and landed another heavy blow on the same spot .

Blood spurted everywhere , he looked at his handiwork with satisfaction . The stubborn bastard was going to be nursing a broken nose for a week or so . The asshole deserved it . 

He was about to break into the house while Aya's guard was down when Ken's tear-streaked face looked up at him .

Ken had suddenly appeared by his brother's side without Schuldich noticing . 

" You bastard !" Ken spat , Schuldich could not recognize the emotions on his pale face . Perhaps it was pain , maybe anger , maybe sadness ; maybe all of them .   
  


" How dare you do that to my brother ?! I hate you ! I hate you !  I HATE YOU ! Don't you dare show your face to me again you cheating scum !"

With those spiteful words , Schuldich was shoved out the door , his eyes wide open in shock ...

The door slammed right in his face .

_How was he supposed to know that this night was going to be terribly out of hand ? _

_How was he supposed to predict this disaster ? _

God hated him . That he knew – and he was going to hell ... but if ever he was , he was going to take Brad Crawford with him .

Schuldich raised his fist to tap once more on the door , but he couldn't bring himself to see Ken's face so marred with revulsion and disgust again . He couldn't stomach the truth that Ken hated him so much .

He felt like such a bastard ... 

Never in his life .

He slunk off to his BMW and drove ever so slowly away . 

                                                               † † †

**R_M : Soooo sorry for the delay !!! I could'nt go on the net the weekend and yesterday ! T___T So sorry !!! At least now you don't have to wait long for the next weekend ne ?**

**Mariki : T__T oh well , at least it wasn't a pic of Aya wiping Ken's face with a napkin ne ? THEN I will throw a tantrum ! _*lol* _chapter ten was a long chapter ! mind you ! and … _*lol*_ it just seemed like the perfect place to cut things off . ^__^ gomen ! **

**Brizey : _*whispers conspiratorially*_ Let's go kick Crawfie's ass . ^__~ Arigatou Brizey-chan ! I'm glad you do ! **

**Dan : Actually , I'm more of a soccer player than a soccer fan . I just started playing a year ago because ... would you believe it ? Because Ken Hidaka wanted me to . _*lol* _kidding . It's true though , I started playing soccer because of Ken (can see people looking strangely at her now)  ... I guess it was meant to be . I'm now the co-team captain of the soccer varsity of our school . ^__^ **

**Anna Hibiki : _*chants*_ Let's kick Brad together ! _*sings*_ Kick Crawfie's ass ! Kick Crawfie's ass ! Wheee ! We're gonna kick Crawfie's ass , Crawfie's ass , Crawfie's ass so early in the morning ! Whooo ! ^__^ Hmm ... I'm sorry you didn't see any SchuKen action in this chapter … Y__Y**

**Ketty : Umm… what part did you have a problem with ? (I'm sooo sorry if you found it strange T__T) I could make things clearer if you want and maybe repost the last chapter . Arigatou though .**

**Isil : *_lol*_ By special request , Crawford has appeared . Now , everybody hates him and wants him to disappear . I can see what Crawford does to people ! _*lol* _**

**O Genki Kitsune : _*does a rerun of the kick Crawford's ass chant*_ weeeh ! ^__^**

**Ran Mouri : Bwahahaha !!! S-stop ! _*is bursting sides because of laughing*_ c -copyright ! bwahaha ! . Ohhh noo . _*can see Aya huffing towards her like a mad bull*_ Uh-oh ... _*wailing as she runs away_* RAAAAANNNN ! _*kicks Crawford on the face as she passes by*_ I'll get you for that Bradley !!! **

**Apsik : Icy Aya . _*lol* _I like that . Oh . It's not yet over Apsik , you just might see something to change your mind ^__~ . And I agree , Crawford _IS _a bloody bastard . **

**Whisper Reilman : Sounds good . Problem is , I'm broke right now and probably couldn't afford sending for pocky from Japan . Where I come from , just the delivery is enough to burn holes in my pockets . ^__^ **

It did ? _*Lol* _THAT mushy huh ? _*big innocent look O.O* _

Now where did you get an idea like that ? 

_*lol* _He probably does have a 'Hidaka Love' website , I just haven't seen it yet . And now to the next review ... 

Gomen . I just felt that nine straight chapters of mush couldn't keep readers glued for long . *lol* kidding . I mean , there's a dilemma in every story , and Crawford happens to be the dilemma in this one . 

The 'shit' moment huh ? I guess maybe it was a _bit_ predictable , or maybe just ... I dunno . Maybe I warned you with the chapter title . Hmm. I _am_ bad with titles . Don't worry , I'll write titles that will knock you off-guard after this . 

Now about that fight stuff . You got that in this chapter , but I was also thinking about if I could write another one ... still thinking about it . 

**Schu-chan :  A-anou ... O__O;;;;;; *_sweatdrops bowling balls*_ Yes . You have succeeded in scaring me . _*blinks and runs like hell*_ I won't show myself to Schu-chan no more . _*hides inside Ken's shirt*_**


	12. In the arms of an angel

R_M : I decided to break the monotony by making a songchap (or a songfic type of chapter) I didn't know what to call it . ^__~ 

Disclaimer : Yes , on the DOZENth chapter , I decided to type out a disclaimer ! (O_O);; Yeah . Weiß Kreuz and its characters does NOT belong to me . (Although I tend to 'borrow' Ken once in a while in activities I don't care to mention ...) Kidding ! They belong to whomever they belong to . Yup . Only the fic belongs to me . 

Yes . And btw ,the song belongs to Sarah McLachlan (whew! It's a boggling name to spell) again , it does NOT belong to me.

Note : I forgot to mention that they are , and ALWAYS will be looking like the bishies in the original series . Despite the fact that I have accepted how Ken , Schuldich , Aya and Nagi looks in Gluhen , I will never be able to imagine them acting out my fics .

There . 

I'm not sure if the song fits , but , well , I just decided to copy and paste . *lol* 

Enjoy ! 

**                                                                                † † †**

*

**_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance   
For the break that will make it okay   
There's always some reason to feel not good enough   
And it's hard at the end of the day_**

*

He had been coming to their apartment for five days now , he knew Ken was home during this time of day – Aya would be off to work and Ken would stay at home the whole day . 

_Had it been that long since they talked ? Had it been that long since ... ?_

He would knock and call out and yell ... 

But no one answered .

No one ever answered . 

Tomorrow would be Sunday . 

They were always home on Sundays , both he and his brother . 

Schuldich would come back tomorrow . 

*

I need some distraction or a beautiful release   
Memories seep from my veins   
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe   
I'll find some peace tonight

* 

**                                                                                † † †**

**

*

In the arms of the Angel far away from here   
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear   
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie   
You're in the arms of the Angel

may you find some comfort here

*

Yohji had come to visit him last Wednesday to tell him that Crawford had withdrawn the deal and to find out why he had gone absent .

He didn't say 'I told you so' like he should have . Yohji was that type of guy . At first glance , you'd think that he'd tell you over and lecture you on how to run your life , but he was a cool guy ; he's never done that so far with Schuldich ; he's just offer some advice or tell Schuldich what his opinion was but he'd never gone as far as to stick his nose where it doesn't belong .

He was totally sympathetic to Schuldich –  but Schuldich didn't want his sympathy . He didn't want his company .

He just wanted to be alone .

... and to talk to Ken .

**                                                                                          † † †**

*

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn   
There's vultures and thieves at your back   
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies   
That you make up for all that you lack

*

His nights were spent tossing and turning restlessly on the bed , yearning for that warm body under the covers , to smell the familiar pine shampoo lingering in the chill air. 

He would always awaken to the sound of glass shattering in his nightmare-reality . 

He woke up that Sunday morning , filled with apprehension . 

He was finally going to see Ken today . He was going to explain , make him believe what he had to say . 

Strange to say , but he had never been this nervous about anything before . And now that he was , it was about a over-energetic teenager who he absolutely was crazy about . 

He dressed quickly and glanced at his reflection in the mirror . 

He looked pale and tired , with dark rings trenching under his eyes . His long mane of orange-red hair was limp and lifeless . 

But Ken didn't care how he looked . Ken wasn't that shallow . 

He glanced at his watch and grabbed the keys to his car . He had to hurry if he was going to catch up with them before they try to leave . 

The sky was dark overhead , crackling with thunder and lightning . It looked like it was midnight instead of early morning ...

It reflected exactly how he felt . 

Confused .

Mad .

Hurting .

The drive to downtown was long and bleak ; fraying his nerves even more . He had already opened the window because of the oppressive air in the car . 

He parked right in front of their apartment door and had emerged tentatively out of his car , like a crab from its shell , just hoping that they would let him talk ; that he could explain to Ken . 

Like a child , he hoped that some sort of miracle would happen , that everything would be all right . That Ken wouldn't be mad at him anymore . 

Slowly , he raked his hair with trembling fingers as he let out a tense sigh , before proceeding to knock softly on the wooden door , willing for it to open . 

He willed Ken's beautiful face to peer through the shuttered windows and to open the door . 

God . He didn't care if the brunette pummeled him on the face or beat the living shit out of him , just as long as Schuldich saw him – that was enough .

But ... there was no sound from its interior .

He rapped louder , maybe they were still asleep or maybe , they couldn't hear him ... maybe they were doing their cleaning and the radio was on .

But he knew , there was no one inside . 

****

****

*

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time   
It's easier to believe   
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness   
That brings me to my knees

*

He kept knocking , softly calling out Ken's name praying for him to appear at the door with that beautiful smile on his face . 

" Ken ... please ..." 

There was no reply to his supplications . 

He roared out the brunette's name , madly lunging against the door like a rabid dog , threatening to break it down ... he scratched and clawed and knocked until his knuckles were raw and bleeding and his fingernails threatened to be torn out of their sockets ... 

*

In the arms of the Angel far away from here   
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear   
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie   
In the arms of the Angel

**_may you find some comfort here_**

*

It was a long time before he stopped . His arm was now streaked with blood like a grotesque painting – but he could no longer feel the pain . His voice had grown so hoarse that he almost couldn't speak , but he no longer cared . 

The pain he felt in his heart claimed superiority over these tiny trifles . He was drowning in the chanting pain . '_I hate you ! I hate you !  I HATE YOU !_ _Don't you dare show your face to me again you cheating scum !'_

Slowly , he sank down on the steps . _'I hate you ! I hate you !  I HATE YOU !'_

He had never sunk this low . 

He had never been this depressed . 

The only person who he ever loved was gone from his arms . 

_'I hate you ! I hate you !  I HATE YOU !'_

The rain had started falling now , slowly at first , with a furious display of lightning bolts and swirling clouds like an elaborate light show , and then heavily in a torrential downpour .

_Maybe his angel was weeping for him . _

_Maybe God was watching after all ..._

He sat there , with his face buried in his hands , his hair darker as the rain danced down the dull tendrils , like dewdrops quenching the flames ... Raindrops coursed through the lackluster strands , and dripped onto the already wet pavement . 

One could no longer distinguish the sound of one raindrop in a torrent , it was just a loud , collective pitter-patter that was deafening to the senses – the harmony of unearthly voices in the earthly elements... 

All the pain he had experienced in the past , he could no longer remember them , because in his whole life , his heart had never ached so much . They were just raindrops , those trifling troubles ... and losing Ken ... is the storm .

He raised his eyes , peering through the curtain of dark hair at the street watching as light glinted back from the tiny crystals – tiny mirrors exploding on contact with the unyielding reality . 

He had never realized how much his eyes stung , how they tingled and smarted –  he was not even aware of the salty tears mingling with the raindrops .

He could only recognize the pain ... and the drumming of the cold rain on his soaked back .

*

You're in the arms of the Angel 

**_may you find some comfort here _**

*  
  
  


**Dan : I agree . Schu would probably never be in good terms with Aya . We'd just have to see ne ? Yup , I do play ^__^ Yup , there are many cute guys playing , but of course , there is never anyone who could be a fraction as adorable as Ken . If any guy could be even half the guy Ken is , I'd marry him ! *lol* Kidding ! ^___~**

**Brizey : *lol* I don't know if that's such a compliment because people might have the urge to strangle me every time they read a cliffhanger ending ! O___O;;; Yup . I broken nose can't be too fun . **

**Anna Hibiki : Whoa ! This is the first time I've seen an anti-Aya ! Woohoo ! ^__^ He's not exactly my favorite character , but he's fine ; specially when he's totally head over heels toes and soles in love with Kenken ! +__+**

**Ran Mouri : *whacks Farf* Do you mind !!! *grins as Ran* Hiya there pardner ! *glares at Ken who hides behind Farf* So . He has comfy legs huh ? How come you never say that when I'm around ??!**

Aya : O_O

Farf : O_O

Crawford : @_@ I like her .

R_M : .;; Did I hear what he just said or was I hallucinating ?

Ran : *nods*

R_M : Oh God save me ! *runs away from a hentai-y Crawford*

**Whisper Reilman : Dolt . Hm. It's cute . I can imagine Schuldich as a dolt . *grins* dolt ... doltdoltdoltdoltdoltdoltdoltdolt ! *giggles* Schuldich is a doooooooolt ! Bwahahaha ! It's my new favorite word ! ^__^ Complain all you want , *singsong voice* I won't tee~ell ^__~**

**Pandora.81 : Hullo there ! ^__^ Arigatou ! **

Crawford : _*is damned to a hell where maniac authors like R_M run amok*_

R_M : . Wheeeee !

**Sakusha :** I don't think anybody cares . Kenken probably ... and Aya's boss ... hmm. Can't think of anyone else . ^__~

**Natakus Ribbon :** Waiiii ! Arigatou ! I really appreciate your compliments !!! ^_____^ Yup ! KenxSchu is my favorite pairing too ! You're welcome . ^__~

**Mistress of Darkness1 : Ne , but I wasn't mean to him ... was I ? _*bats eyelashes*_ Wow . *big eyes at the really's* Arigatou !!! *ponders* Yeah . I've never written a 'Crawford is good' fic . Maybe I should try that ... hmmm ... now you've got me thinking ...**


	13. To help a friend

It had been two weeks now . 

Two full weeks of Schuldich going to the empty apartment's door and waiting in vain for a boy that never came .

In was difficult ... living in two weeks of a perpetually wretched status quo . 

**

Yohji felt miserable for his friend . He knew something was very wrong and yet Schuldich refused to tell him what had happened , what this was all about -- but Yohji knew that the reason . It was all about that kid he had seen only in the pictures  that Schuldich brought to work ... the boy he had never met . 

Yohji knew he could recognize that face anywhere if he saw it . Schuldich had allowed him to pore through most of his masterpieces because Yohji was a good friend , and Yohji examined each print with growing admiration . 

Schuldich's work had grown infinitely better , it had never seemed possible before , Schuldich's work had always been the best even among all the top professionals ... but here he was , proved wrong . The redhead had put the prints back almost reverently in their container – Yohji had never seen him treat his pictures like that too . 

Sure , the bastard could be arrogant at times – he was difficult , stubborn and childish . He often pulled off nasty escapades and got away with insulting some of their lofty clients ... but he was a good man . He didn't deserve all this heartache . 

And Ken was the person to credit – or to blame – this on .

Yohji knew that everything was just an arrogant façade to keep people away . to keep them guessing . 

Schuldich had never liked to be close to anyone – with the exception of Yohji , he had no other 'friends' . And then , the kid named Ken came along , and managed to single-handedly crumble all of Schuldich's defenses that he had built over the years . 

Yohji had tried to comfort Schuldich , tried to remind him that he was always there to lend a helping hand – but it was no use . Schuldich just wanted to be alone with his misery , and Yohji had stayed away . 

There was nothing he could do , but hope that time would heal all wounds . That was the saying right ? If idiots believed that , then maybe , just maybe it could be true ... 

Yohji was musing as he drove through the streets , the top of his convertible down . 

The night was thankfully clear , the news had said that the damned storm had already passed and everything was going to be clear for at least a few days .

He really didn't care where he ended up , it was one of those nights that you feel like ambling around with no direction , just wandering . He wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings either – he was too lost in his own thoughts for that ; but despite that , he caught a flash of red hair disappearing into one of the clubs .

So maybe Schuldich had emerged and was trying to drown his misery with booze . It had happened before , it will happen again . 

Yohji smiled faintly . Schuldich being raving drunk was better than him being eerily silent like he had been this past few days – the blonde knew from experience .

He parked the car along the street and hurried into the bar . He had to be there when the redhead collapsed in sheer intoxication (Schuldich was prone to such bouts even more than Yohji was) 

He scanned the full and gyrating room , bodies spinning and heaving to the dance music as the different lights danced on the walls and on every available surface . 

His eyes saw past all those people and rested on the redhead standing by the bar ... 

... but he didn't recognize him . 

It wasn't Schuldich . 

Damn ... 

He was about to turn on his heel and go when he saw who the redhead was talking to ... a boy – a brunette – was sitting on one of the bars stools , his head resting tiredly on the bar .

" Well I'll be damned ." Yohji muttered , a slow smile spreading on his face . He descended the steps into the dance floor 

He weaved his way through the tightly-jammed discotheque towards the bar , ignoring the admiring looks both men and women had thrown his way despite their preoccupation with grooving and hopping to sweatiness ; and stopped right in front of the brunette . 

He now knew how to snap Schuldich out of his misery . 

                                                               † † †

**Mistress of Darkness1 : ^__^ You're welcome ! **

**Zeto : Well ... I kinda like Crawford for some twisted reason . There are many good fics there where Crawford is actually acting like a human ! We're still quite far from the ending , sad to say (or is that good ?) Give me a live Ken and maybe imma make this a happy ending ! ^__~ ! Arigatou so muc for mailing me ! I tried to reply but my stupid e-mail is kinda acting up on me ! Gomen nasai kudasai ! **

**Pandora.81 **: **/(O.O)\;; Anou ... yes . he is kawaii when he's angsting . ^__~ Arigatou , and ... ne , it will be soon . **

**Ketty : Gomen ne . I can't help it . I'll try to make the angsting and the drama shorter if you want it all that much . **

**Brizey : *Pats Brizey* Dun worry , everythin's gonna be fine . **

**Dan : No ! Don't jinx me ! I HAVE to find a guy like Ken ! I HAVE to !!! T__T**

**Whisper Reilman : Hmm ... it makes sense . If I was gonna picture Manx singing by the piano though , it wouldn't be in that hideous red outfit of hers . Ten bucks ? You're on !!! (is glad for some money) kidding ! Dolts ? No thanks , you can keep them . Schuldich was kinda stupid there though . **


	14. Confrontations

The redhead had looked at him with suspicion , obviously thinking that he was trying to pick up the brunette . 

He remembered Schuldich mentioning that Ken had a redhead brother . Hmm ... and he wasn't half bad-looking either . He eyed Aya appreciatively , but snapped his attention back to the brunette whose tired eyes were gazing up at him in curiosity .

" What'll you have ?" The red-haired barman snapped , his violet eyes turning into dangerous slits . 

" No thanks ." Yohji grinned , turning on all his charm . " I'm driving tonight ." He faced Ken , whose head was drooping on the surface of the bar . 

The kid looked totally wiped out .

" Are you Ken ?" He asked . 

" Yeah ." The boy replied , his voice was a little hoarse . Yohji noted . Maybe he was as devastated about this whole deal as Schuldich was ... maybe he was even more devastated than Schuldich , he couldn't tell . 

" What do you want from him ?" The redhead snapped , he was gripping the neck of a brandy bottle tightly , a white rag in his other hand . 

_What the hell is this ? Twenty questions ? Police interrogation ? _

He had thought the redhead looked good , but he didn't know the guy was such a bulldog . 

Yohji ignored Aya and said softly . " Schuldich hasn't been the same since you left him , Ken ." 

The large grey eyes flickered for a moment , but the hazel-haired boy didn't say a word . 

" He deserves a second chance . People make mistakes , Ken ." Yohji's eyes examined the boy in front of him , he was beautiful too . Even the best of Schuldich's print didn't quite do justice . 

He felt the pinpricking glare of the redhead resting on his profile but snubbed it . 

" If you loved him even just a little ... you would give him another chance . Please . As his friend , I implore you ." Yohji had knelt to level with the pale face , noting all the confused emotions so openly marked in those features . 

He was still so young , so vulnerable . But in paradoxically , he had a strength that many people didn't have and Yohji admired that . 

There was a moment of silence . Both men waiting for the response of the brunette , each not daring to breathe ... 

It was an eternity before the boy gave him a weak nod . 

Yohji grinned widely and offered his hand to the boy . Ken took his hand and raised himself to his feet , but wavered and almost collapsed against the bar . The barman was immediately at his side , all concern , but Ken waved him away with an imploring look . 

Hmm ... so maybe the kid was still a little woozy . It was probably because of the heat and the dense air inside the club .

The drive to the Schuldich's duplex was filled with silence . Yohji knew he had to give the boy to think things over , to organize his thoughts . The boy was obviously in as much pain as his friend , and he wasn't looking so good right now . 

He glanced at his passenger from the corner of his eye and noticed how frail and wan the boy looked . Maybe the fight had taken a worse toll than it should have . 

He hated to force a person to do this kind of thing while he wasn't feeling A-ok but Schuldich needed clearance as soon as possible , there was no telling what the redhead was capable of doing when he was this miserable . 

He parked the car and had gone to the passenger side to open the door . The brunette had made no move to go out . 

Having second thoughts ?

" Ken ." He said , his eyebrows gently raised in question . 

Ken stood up from the car weaving slowly , as if dizzy , his clouded eyes raised to the top floor of the duplex . 

_*Maybe he was dreading the meeting* _

The ride up took a few minutes , Ken's reflection in the mirrored walls of the elevator showed his anxiety and worry . 

_Should he ? Could he ? _

_He did love Schuldich – that much was true . But Schuldich had cheated on him ; on the day that he had declared his feelings . _

_Did he even deserve to be forgiven after all he had done ? _

_" If you loved him even just a little ... you would give him another chance ."_

The walls of the elevator spun , Ken credited it to gnawing nervousness that turned his stomach . _Could he possibly talk to Schuldich and listen to him make excuses ?_

_Ping !_

The elevator doors separated , the double doors of the flat looming large in front of them . 

Yohji's glance at the brunette at his side as he rapped smartly on the door told him that the boy was getting ready to bolt . He rested his hand reassuringly on the boy's shoulder and gave him a kind smile that only partially succeeded in calming Ken's nerves . 

His hands had grown sweaty during the ride to the penthouse and he wiped it against the side of his denim pants . 

He didn't know if he was ready to see Schuldich yet . But he had already made the decision and he should stick to it despite all the qualms he was feeling at the moment . 

From behind the door , they heard the muffled sound of padding feet against the thick carpet , inconsistent and erratic , and suddenly the door was flung open . 

Schuldich stood there , his clothes rumpled , his long hair a tangle of knots , his face pale and haggard with a half-consumed bottle of beer in his hand . Ken almost didn't recognize him .

_- this isn't Schuldich – _

He looked so different from his suave , sophisticated self ...

Schuldich stared at Ken , dumb-founded , his jaw almost on the floor , his hand gripping the bottle even more tightly . His knuckles whitened at the effort . 

" Ken ." He murmured . His eyes softened in pain . 

Yohji had then taken the opportunity to step back into the empty elevator with a sad smile on his face . 

_They had to take care of their problems now . There was nothing more he could do to help ._

                                                          † † †

**R_M : **I'm so sorry that I kept you hanging there ! I had no choice ; this is week is the first test of the year and I had to make good so I have a fighting chance of graduating ! O__O;;; 

**Chahiya : **Hiya there ! ^__~ I'm so glad you do ! Welcome to the family ! ^__^ I'll try to do that ! 

**Jenken :** Will do ! The moment I find him I'm gonna get his DNA sample and hide it for future generations of fangirls to come ! Then I'm gonna clone him to my heart's content and have a gorgeous guy like him fawning over me ... *is imagining ...* Anoou ... *swoons* 

**Whisper_Reilman :** You do ?! Wow that's a relief ! Be glad this chappie even reached three pages ! I'm already tearing my hair off for time to retype this thing up . Oh , and remember the time I said another SchuKen is on the way ? Well my loyal e-mail buddy (I'd rather not say her name) has come up with a jolly good idea and I've decided to make it . Of course it's AU (from the general enthusiasm on my last non-AU , I think I'd better stick to this genre) Anyway , I'm really looking forward to posting it (yup , I'm REALLY excited !!!) 

**Ketty :** Dundundundunnnnnn ... I think you're in for another 'drama' chapter . I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing , but just decide when I post the chapter up on Saturday (or Sunday) ^__~

**Brizey :** Now you know what Yohji's up to . He's a great friend ne ? ^__~

**Ran Mouri :** *Is a little bit weirded out but is happy* Uncertain smile  == O__O;;

**Dan :** Sorry bout that . Thanks for the well-wishing ! I need it ! *sniffs away for the Kenken druggie* . 

**Misura :** Heyyyyy ! Welcome back ! So how was England ? (I'm dying to go there , I heard that it was great there from my dad . That was where he studied)  They are they ? Well let's just see about that ! (is not threatening or anything) ^__~

**Mariki :** WBies too ! ^__^ Arigatou ! Hope to see you many more times ! 

**Anna Hibiki :** Well , here you have it ! Drumroll please ! 

**WARNING :** The following chapter may contain fluff and wuff that's dangerous to your health . If symptoms persist , STOP READING ! *laughs* I'm just kidding !


	15. Forgiven or forgotten ?

Schuldich stared at Ken , stricken . 

He couldn't possibly be hallucinating , could he ? Maybe it was  the booze , or the fantasies that Ken would just magically appear at his door . Maybe it was both . 

He rubbed his eyes and blinked , as if trying to discern whether Ken was an apparition or reality .

Ken stared back , mustering his courage . 

" Ken ... I ..." Schuldich was at a loss for words , he wanted to hug Ken despite his state of disgrace . Even through the haze of alcohol , he knew that his present disarray was more than shameful . He didn't want Ken to see him like that ; he didn't  want Ken to know what kind of wretch he was .

Ken had stood there , motionless , his molten eyes stirred like a brewing storm and Schuldich was afraid ... he was so very afraid that he was never going to be forgiven; that Ken would turn away and leave him there alone in his misery . 

Schuldich blinked away the haziness . He wanted to utter a thousand apologies , but his tongue had grown stiff with emotion – inebriation and days of not speaking . His hoarseness would not permit it either and yet , he knew he had to apologize . To make things right again . 

" I'm sorry . I know I've hurt you Ken . I know I've made many mistakes ..." Schuldich started , his jade gaze dull with agony . 

" But ... please know that I didn't mean ... I know what happened was unforgivable ... it's okay if you never want to speak to me again ... but please ... I beg you ... to forgive me ." His eyes pleaded , his voice sounded foreign even to his own ears , as if he was hearing another person . 

" I'd die if you remain angry at me ." Schuldich took an unsure step forward , swaying lightly on his heels . He wiped his hands nervously on his shirt , his skin felt clammy ; sweaty . 

Ken didn't know what to do , he didn't know what to say . 

" Ken , please ... say anything ! Punch me , shout , kill me for crying out loud ! Just ... just please ..." Schuldich begged , he took another uncertain step forward , his naked feet muffled against the plush carpet . 

And suddenly it was raining .

Salty drops were falling from emerald skies . Schuldich felt the tears streaking burning trails down his cheeks .

Schuldich Schwarz was crying , and he did not know if he could ever stop . 

Slowly , he was standing just inches from Ken , who still had not said a word . He was several inches taller than Ken . His frame was bigger compared to the younger boy's ; and yet , he felt so small . Just so , so small ... 

He opened his arms , and engulfed the brunette in a tight trembling embrace as if he would never let go .

Ken watched him , his lips trembling . It was no use ... he could never refuse Schuldich . Never . 

He loved him too damned much to do that .

Schuldich buried his face in Ken's sweet-smelling hair . " I love you Ken ..." He whispered huskily . 

" I love you too ... Schuldich ." He heard the whispered reply . 

His embrace tightened . He felt like had just started to live again , after two weeks of existing , suspended , without life or emotion , he felt like he'd started to live again . 

The bottle dropped on the floor and shattered into a thousand fragments .

Schuldich didn't care . 

Two weeks ago , it had signaled his misery . 

Tonight , it had made whole his heart . 

His eager lips sought those that sweet ones . 

He had missed the scent , the sweet taste rolled in his tongue . He felt that he had just been given ambrosia and sweet nectar ; the food of the gods . 

He felt Ken respond to his sweet caresses and gentle kisses . He shut the door .

He knew that he had just been forgiven ; and it was the best feeling he could ever have .

† † †

**Brizey : And I guess they have ne ? Brace yourselves though , only two more chapters typed out , which means only two more weekends of steady updating until I get new chappies typed out . **

**Dan : Oh , people tell me that ALL the time ! ^__~ I don't mind though , even **I** know I'm crazy so that's nothing new to me ! **

**Pandora.81 : Oops , maybe I was wrong about the fluff warning ! Is it even fluffy enough ? I don't know if it will satisfy all the fluff-starved readers out there ! ^__^ **

**Whisper_Reilman : Sorry bout the long update ; and just two pages to complain about . Congratulations ! I hope you get the job ! You go girl ! Just scare your bratty roommate half to death and you'll get a brand new one who still doesn't know you're a little bit psycho ! ^__~ kidding ! **

**Misura : Well , I had to make it exciting didn't I ? Otherwise there'd be no one reading this little ole' garbage of mine and there'd be no one to review for little ole' me ! ^__~ Arigatou ! **

**Mariki** **: Neeee ! O__O;;; Ken-chan , Mariki's threatening me ! _*hides behind Ken's back*_ **

Ken : _*pats pats*_ Don't worry Redemption , I'll take care of you . I won't let _anybody_ hurt you ! 

R_M : _*self-satisfied smirk*_

**Muchacha :** Well hello there ! Arigatou ! ^__^

**Anna Hibiki :** Mwahahaha ! Yo-tan's cute ? O_O;; ... well , I guess so ... 

**Natakus Ribbon :** Gomen nasai ! 

**Schu :** Poor Schu ? What about poor Ken ? Kidding ! Well , at least they're all fine now right ? 

**Ketty :** Arigatou ! I'll hope you'll keep on RnR'ing ~ ^__~

**Ran Mouri :** Huh ? O__O;; _*doesn't get it*_ Who were such assholes ? What decoration ? O__O;;; _*ish getting really nervous*_ ... _*LOL*_

**Zeto :** Get them ALL killed ? Hmpf , I hardly think that Aya'd let that happen to him – or Crawford , or Schuldich or Farf ... Well , I guess you have the answer to your question ne ? _*winks*_

**Chahiya :** I'm glad that they do too ! Hopefully I passed my tests . I will continue writing , don't worry , _*LOL at the 'study hard' part*_ Arigatou .

**_R_M :_** Wow ! 14 reviews ! 3 more record-breaking reviews for me ! _*LOL*_ That goes to show  that I should make Ken and Schu break up and make up more often . I'm so glad that this fic has so many devoted fans ! Arigatou to all of you ! 


	16. Emerald

**_R_M :__ Well , I haven't posted a note at the top of the fic for quite a long while . Perhaps I've never had a reason to – until now . Did I ever tell you guys that I was a clairvoyant ? Nope ? Well , I am . I can actually predict your reaction to this coming chapter . I don't want to tell you what your reaction will be because I don't want to spoil everything for you , but I'll carry on my little note at the end of the chapter ._**

                                                              † † †

" Hmnmm ..." Ken murmured appreciatively as Schuldich nuzzled his neck . 

They were seated at the park bench , basking in the warm sunlight as they watched a family of swans gliding on the smooth surface of the emerald-colored lake . 

Ken had awoken naked in Schuldich's arms , and it felt like it was the rightest thing ; opening his eyes to see Schuldich's handsome face .

It was their first day as 'real' lovers and they had driven off to a large park outside the city , a large attraction because of the hundreds of swans resting there during spring .

Behind them , families picnicked on little mats with baskets of food , laughter was ringing in the air and both of them felt happy . It seemed like they were a family on their own . Just Schuldich and Ken . Ken and Schuldich .

They were anonymous there ; nobody paid close attention to them ; nobody cared that they were two people enjoying the sunlight and nobody knew that the redhead was actually the famous photographer Schuldich Schwarz .

Schuldich kissed Ken on the cheek , ignoring the shocked stares of the little children as they paused from their frolic around the park and screams and shout their hearts out . 

Ken gave him a good-natured smile and marveled for the hundredth time that day how handsome Schuldich looked with his olive eyes , his crooked smile and his thick orange hair . He laid his head on the firm chest and sighed happily . 

Schuldich fixed a soft stare on the crown of chestnut hair resting on his chest . " You know I love you right ?" 

Ken's head bobbed . " Mmmhhmmm ..." 

Schuldich turned and watched as a pair of swans cut through the mirror of water , and commented as if it were a sudden idea ." Why don't I take a picture of you with the lake ? It'll be perfect . I promise it's going to be the best print I'll ever make ." Schuldich said , nudging Ken's chin to face him .

" Only if you promise that we'll have a picture together ." Ken replied . He kissed Schuldich's jaw lightly and raised an eyebrow in question .

Schuldich mock-frowned . " What ?! And have other people touch my beloved camera ?!" 

Ken laughed . " You promise ?" 

" Yeah , yeah . Now stand with your back against the lake . The light's just perfect for a colored shot ." 

Ken obliged . He squinted under the blinding glare . " Isn't this a little bit too much sun ?" He called out .

" Never fear . I am the great Schuldich , trust me ." 

Ken laughed . 

" Now look here , luv ." 

Ken stood at the edge of the water , leaning sideways casually , his hand poised on his slim hips and a little happy smile twitching on the corner of his lips . 

" Ready ?" 

" Wait !" Ken patted down the brand new denim pants he had borrowed from Schuldich and smoothed down the navy blue buttoned-down shirt open at the collar , revealing his collarbone . He ran a hand over his messy hair and gave lopsided grin .

" Hey ! Don't bother . You look great anytime ." Schuldich said fondly , half-joking . 

_Dear God ! He loved this boy ! _

" I want this to be the shot you remember me by ." Ken called out with a happy laugh . Schuldich raised his head , wondering what he meant , but Ken resumed his position and he lowered his eye back to peer through the camera . 

" One ..." Schuldich counted . " Two ... three ..." 

It all happened so suddenly and there was nothing else he could do but watch in horror through the lens ... 

Ken's eyes rolled back , his head was thrown backwards , drops of blood suspended in mid-air , his hands were limp before him , his shirt flapping in an invisible wind . His left foot was hovering over the grass , as if taking a wild leap forward just as the family of swans raised their wings to take off in panic .

_Click !_

Within that second , Schuldich had captured the worst sight of his life . 

Within that second was an eternity that never ended ...

The park was silent , save for the large splash that send tidal waves of water into the air . The love of his life had just been plunged into the icy waters and people only watched , stunned , as the laughing attractive brunette fell suddenly backwards into the water ; his eyes losing all their sparkle . 

Schuldich opened his lips in horror , the camera slipping from his fingers and landing with a soft thump on the grass . 

_Was it just a horrible nightmare ? _

Drops of icy water splattered on his face , bringing him to his senses . 

_No ! Real ! It was all real !_

He sprang into action and sprinted to the lake's edge before diving beneath the surface . The water was deep,  it dipped suddenly and the water reached six feet . What had seemed so clear from above was murky green instead . 

His eyes searched , but no Ken . 

He tried to choke down his panic , his heart was beating like a drum . 

_Dum–dum ... dum-dum ... dum ... _

He saw a shadow and lunged deeper into the depths – his lungs were bursting , but he had to save Ken ! He had no trouble going down , his boots and his thick clothes were dragging him down . 

He stretched out his hand and grabbed a boot and pulled with all his strength . Ken was drifting down with his arms trailing over his head .  

He held Ken's body against his own as he fought to surface . They were being dragged down by their clothes but he didn't have time to take any article off ; he should get Ken up or they were both going to drown .

_I can see the surface ! _

Brighter and brighter it became . The sun's luminous face was growing larger with each struggling moment as he fought for the surface , gripping Ken on the arm ; like a beacon in the blinding darkness . 

He felt rough hands heave him out of the water , another pair wrenched Ken from his grasps and they were now on the grass , making little puddles of mud . He sputtered and coughed all the putrid water before turning quickly to Ken . 

His head was lolled to one side , his eyes closed . Fresh trickles of blood came down from the corner of his lips and from his nose .

Schuldich's eyes widened , his heart had skipped a beat for a moment , having a dark premonition . 

The people had gathered around them now , and two of the men were talking through their cellphones , calling for an ambulance ...

† † †

Everything was a blur . 

He didn't know when the ambulance came ; he didn't remember what exactly happened . 

Suddenly , he was seated on a bench in the ambulance staring at Ken's limp body being pierced by needles and tubes . An oxygen mask was placed over his nostrils and he could hear the strange sound of Ken's laboured breathing . _Woosh ..._  

  
His teeth chattered despite the rough thermal cloak that the medical personnel had given him and he could feel goosebumps rising on his skin . 

"Be okay ..."Schuldich murmured as he clutched Ken's lifeless hand in his own , but there was no response . 

It took all of his strength to fight away the tears . 

He didn't want anyone to see him cry , his tears were only for Ken . 

Just for Ken . 

How could God be so cruel ??

How could He let you taste heaven for a fraction of a moment and take it away all so suddenly ?

No ... Schuldich wasn't going to let Ken go . 

He was going to fight fate if he had to . 

There was no way that he was going to lose Ken again , no way at all in heaven or in hell ... 

NO WAY .

NO GODDAMN WAY .

                                                           † † †

**R_M : Wow ... just nine reviews for chapter fifteen huh ? That bad ?  I guess I didn't make it fluffy and wuffy enough for most of you – come to think of it , I guess it isn't so bad (I was content with just 3 or 4 reviews per chappie before , but you guys indulged me on this ! ^______^) . Anyway , I aim to please ne ? **

Hmmm ... lemme guess ... you're not in any way pleased right now , are you ? O_O;; Well , you guys saw it coming , (Whisper_Reilman most especially) and I gave it to you so I guess it's no big surprise after all . _*ducks from under the barrage of flying furniture and books*_ Well , there's nothing more I can do . The basic plot had already been formed right from the start and chapters are just waiting to be written . 

I'm not sure if I can continue to post chapters semi-regularly , because I am quite short of chapters right now and I don't exactly have the time considering that there are many school projects waiting to be launched soon . Hopefully , this fic won't be put into a hiatus (look what happened to the others that I put into the limbo I called 'hiatus') So if you don't want that to happen ... please give me some (or if you want maybe even many) feedbacks . Flame me , blame me , maim me for all I care (O_O);;; just tell me what you think and give me inspiration to MAKE time to write out the last remaining chapters . 

I'm afraid I won't be able to write notes to you today . I am currently in the state of being brain dead due to lack of sleep . Please pray that I regain those sleeping brain cells by tonight because I have a major test tomorrow ! (God I hate Calculus and Calc professors !) Be assured though that I am very grateful for every single one of those nine reviews . I will write you next time , and thank you one by one when I post the next chappie ! 

Thanks ! (And if you kill me now , you won't find out what the ending of the fic is)


	17. Diagnosis

The hospital looked somewhat drearier and dismal than the last time he had been there .

The faces grayer ; the lights dimmer , the odors more pungent .  It was if the deaths that have occurred under its roof was killing it slowly ... 

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall as he waited for the doctor to emerge and for the arrival of Aya , whom he had asked Yohji to inform .

Ken had been wheeled inside the hospital for more or less an hour now ; and the last Schuldich had seen of him was when he was swept through a pair of white swinging doors .

He gritted his teeth in anticipation ; in anxiety –  in fear and pulled the thermal blanket closer . He needed the comfort . 

Several nurses had already tried to ask him to leave so he could at least change out of his dripping clothes but he refused the suggestion or their offers of lending him a hospital gown . He didn't give a shit for himself – hell he'd been so infatuated with himself for so long ... all he wanted to know was if Ken was going to be alright .

He wondered what was taking so long . Ken should be out by now . It was just probably over-fatigue . Ken did look tired and haggard and Schuldich knew that he should have paid closer attention ; but he didn't . Their makeup had made him to happy to notice anything wrong . He had just seen everything as perfect . 

Now the world was just a fucked-up place , poisoning , gnawing , killing the dreams and the happiness of all the innocent people . 

***

Schuldich looked up ; the door swung open , and out emerged the tired face of the doctor whom had taken charge of Ken .

Schuldich jumped to his feet , the thick blanket falling off his shoulders and dropping heavily to the floor . Sweat trickled down his spine like ice as he awaited the bitter news . Goosebumps had started to raise on his flesh and he clenched and unclenched his fists to control himself . 

" How is he ? What happened ? What's wrong with him ?" He couldn't keep the questions from coming out . It just streamed out like a big river and all he could do was ask . It was as if his body was functioning all by itself and he was left on the outside looking in . 

The doctor , a stout balding man in glasses and hospital scrubs , smiled wearily at Schuldich . "Don't worry ,  he's alright for now ; his condition's stabilized as of the moment .." 

" What do you mean ?" Schuldich asked , baffled . He stared at the doctor as if it was the man's entire fault, which seemed to discomfit the man . 

The doctor gazed at him for a moment , as if composing his thoughts before he replied . " I mean that we've managed to placate all those complications ." He said gently , as if he was talking to a small child instead of a fully-grown adult . 

It was patronizing and it infuriated Schuldich even more . 

" What complications ? He was perfectly fine ! What's wrong with him ?" The questions kept on pouring out . 

The doctor sighed . " I've been Ken Hidaka's doctor for quite a while now and I'm not sure if he would like me to inform you – if he hadn't already told you himself ." The doctor sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck . This is usually the worst part of the job , God he hated saying these kinds of things people . Hell , why did he even become a doctor anyway ? He was overworked and underpaid and – 

" Tell me what ? goddamnit !" Schuldich exploded . He was now gripping the doctor's shoulder and shaking him roughly . His heart thudded wildly . His eyes flashed like a trapped animal's . 

The passersby , the nurses and patients and visitors stared at him with uneasiness . A few had already inched by to the intercom trying to decide whether to call the hospital security .

The doctor debated whether or not to tell him . He knew about the clandestine visits this man had made a few weeks ago , and he knew by intuition , some way or the other , that his young patient was close to him ... but still , Ken expressed once that he didn't want anyone else to know about his condition ... 

Still … 

His eyes softened in sympathy as he watched the perfectly sophisticated redhead tremble in fear . He breathed deeply , trying to summon the courage to spit out the words he had to say . 

*****

" Ken ... well ... Ken – has severe leukemia . He's had it for years now ."

" Oh God ..." Schuldich gasped . He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him . 

He couldn't breathe ! His breaths came out in short little puffs as he tried to inhale blessed oxygen . The doctor looked at him in alarm and hailed a passing nurse to get a paper bag . 

Schuldich stood there , breathing shallowly , his eyes dazed . He swayed a little on his feet ; as if dancing a little dance , wavering .

He no longer paid attention to the stares , or the cold , or the doctor who was saying something to him . 

All he could hear were the words : _Ken has severe leukemia …_

_Dear God ! Ken has – _

_Ken has –_

He stood there , motionless . 

It was a few minutes before the doctor could force him to sit down . 

                                                               † † †

**R_M :** Ah , yes , dear , beloved , cherished time . Yes . It took me two weeks to write this crummy chapter because I didn't exactly have the _time_ to do it . So I will now answer your reviews for both chapters 16 and 17 before something school-related comes up and gobbles up all my beloved time . 

YESSSSSSSSSSS !!!! Beyond the 150 review line already ! Arigatou to everyone ! 

**Chapter 15 :**

**Misura :** Well , since chapter 16 has already gone out , I'm not sure whether I should answer your question . _*patspats*_ ^__~

**Schu :** Lol ! I could just imagine – but I'd rather not _*blush*_ and yes , yay .

**Jenken :** Yup , I know what you mean by school = busy . Yes , it sucks but that just the way life is right ? Almost over ? Nah , I might just have a few or more chapters under my sleeve .

**Whisper Reilman :** Aha ! I thought so ! ^__~ Wow , what good luck to be able to get paid while reading fics . If only there was a real job like that , you know , d/ling stuff and surfin . That would just be too cool . 

**Mariki :** _*hands on hips*_ I did not force her to do anything ! _*Gets Ken's jockey shorts and ties it around Mariki's neck*_ Go Schuldich , fetch boy ! 

**Suisei Lady Dragon :** Yes , I agree . Yup , I agree . Uh-huh , That's right . Sorry ^__^ (Damn am I dead tired) 

**Ketty :** I'm glad it touched you the way it did . Maybe it's a better read than I expected . I will keep reading ; thanks for all the great reviews and keep on dolin ! 

**Brizey :** Ah yes , that did get a little bit cut off at chapter 16 ne ? Gomen ne . 

**Kasugai gummie :** Hello there ! Your writing is rather familiar , do happen to be , by any chance one of my former reviewers and just changed your name ? Arigatou anyhow ... I'm not quite sure about Sword Buried Deep considering the lack of enthusiasm and impact on the audience . 

**Zeto :** I don't mind , a review is a review and I'm not that choosy . Ummm ... We'll just have to wait and see ne ? 

**Chapter 16 :**

**Anna Hibiki :** Arigatou so much for the support . I certainly have been enjoying getting your reviews just as much or maybe even more than you reading this fic . I'm glad that you'll be able to remember this fic even for just a short while ! 

**Schu :** Yes , I'm trying my very best to not let that happen , and hopefully it won't . I adore writing this fic most especially since it is my most well-received fic to date . I hope I did well too , and  thanks .

**Brizey :** I agree , the story would be practically uses if it was just peachy the whole way right ? Ending ? We'll see . 

**Sakusha :** You did ?! Cry , I mean ! Whoa ! I'm glad ! (uh ... not that I ever wanna see you crying ... just ... uh , that you empathized ...) lol

**Mistress of darkness1 :** O___O;;; I suppose I should take that one as a compliment ? Hopefully you wouldn't have a reason to hunt me down !!! 

**Mazie :** O___x;;;; A-anou ... lol . You got me there . No . _*fends away crazed Farfies*_

**KyraEnsui :** _*Runs around , hyperactive with you *_

**Mariki :** You got your answer in this chapter . Don't worry , I'm like that MOST of the time so there's nothing to be scared of – not unless you're afraid of being a neurotic psychopath like me ! 

**Anushkajan :** Arigatou , your support is deeply appreciated . Truly . Actually , nothing really happened that _led_ to this , I had just been dropping hints and stuff that Ken might actually be sick so that people would not just be annoyed that there's another fact to be digested in one surprising chapter . Basically , Ken had already been showing signs of his illness even before he and Schuldich met . ^___^ 

**Schu-chan :** Evil ? Moi evil ? Waaaah ! _*goes and cries in the corner with you*_

**Misura :** Mean ! Anou ! I'm not mean ! X__X ……... _*sweatdrops*_

**Ketty :** Yup , we'll get to that , don't you worry .

**Ariestar48 :  _*_**_O_O; at all the threats*_ Anou ... don't be mad ... _*inches away*_ Tasukete onegai ! _*runs away from a knife-wilding Ariestar*_

**Ryia Jen Rowen :** I'm glad you found it ! ^__^ and hopefully you will continue supporting it ! ^__~ more to come ! 


	18. Guten morgen , Mein Liebe

_It smells different ... I know this smell ... I'm ... in the hospital again ..._

Stormy grey eyes opened slowly and squinted at the blinding brightness of the hospital room , 

I must have collapsed ... I – 

Suddenly , all the memories came rushing in like a vivid dream ... or nightmare .

The park ... 

The people ... 

The bright sunlight ... 

... and the cold dark waters ... 

He gasped .

Schuldich ! Schuldich must've seen everything ! 

Schuldich saw everything and now ... he'd ask him what was wrong ! Schuldich was going to leave him ... 

He sat up suddenly , his chest constricting as he fought to breathe . 

_Why now ? Why now ? _

His frightened eyes suddenly caught a beautiful image ; one of Schuldich sleeping peacefully , his cheek resting on the brunette's leg , his serene face turned towards Ken and his hand holding on to Ken's wrist as if he was dreaming about not letting go . 

All anxiety evaporated out Ken ; fading away like a hazy dream and he was left with a reality that was better than the nightmare . 

He watched the steady rise and fall of the redhead's strong shoulders and the listened to Schuldich's steady breathing . 

Schuldich was still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing the day before , rumpled and dirty . He must've slept in them ... 

Despite himself , Ken smiled . He had seen Schuldich at his best and his worst , but somehow , he found himself preferring _this_ Schuldich . 

So vulnerable ... 

So easy to love ... 

Tentatively , he brushed a fiery orange lock from the sleeping man's face and drew back when Schuldich shifted slowly to wakefulness . 

A soft rustle warned him of a presence and he glimpsed Aya leaning against the corridor before his brother turned and quickly vanished into the corridor . 

" _Morgen_ , _liebe_ ." Schuldich raised his head from Ken's numbed thigh and gave a feline grin , seemingly purring like a contented cat . 

" I remember , you said that to me the day we fought , '_Guten morgen_ , _mein liebe_' but you said before that it only meant good morning ."

Schuldich tossed his hair flippantly . " It does mean good morning . I just might've forgotten to mention what _mein liebe_ meant ." He leaned closer and nibbled on Ken's earlobe . " It means _my love_ ." He whispered teasingly before laughing out loud at Ken's slightly surprised expression . 

" Well anyway , I'm hungry . I'm going to get us something to eat ." Schuldich stood up from the hard hospital chair and stretched liberally with a large yawn , trying to get the kinks out of his muscles . 

Ken watched , half-pensive , half-amused . 

Schuldich was acting as if he didn't know . Maybe nobody told him yet . Maybe he still hasn't asked ... 

Ken didn't want him to know .

Too many people had abandoned him because they found out he was sick . He didn't want Schuldich to leave him ... 

It was selfish , he knew , but ... 

" I'll get you some great ham and eggs for breakfast . I saw a shop right across the street when I drove back here last night ." 

Guilt gnawed at the pit of Ken's stomach , but he ignored it and tried his best and gave a small smile . " That would be great ." 

" I'll be right back ." With a small wave , Schuldich was gone .

Ken closed his eyes and fought back a wave of nausea as bile rose in his mouth . 

" He doesn't deserve you , Ken ." 

Aya spun into three in Ken's reeling vision . 

_Aya_ ... 

" Let him go , Ken ." 

Ken gave a pained smile as he rubbed the angry welts that had started to form on his arms . " You know I can't , Aya ..." 

Aya remained impassive as ever , but a glimmer of worry shifted under those stolid violet eyes . " Why can't you just forget him , just go back to the way we were ? You'll just get hurt Ken . You always get hurt . People are so fickle ."

" I can't let go ."

" He'll leave you when he finds out . He'll just turn and leave just like all your so-called damned friends . I don't want you to experience that pain again ." 

" He won't leave me . He won't ." Ken whispered , trying to convince Aya ; and himself . But he knew , people always left him sooner or later . There was no one he could trust – only Aya was going to stay . But Schuldich ... Schuldich said that he loved him . He wouldn't just leave if he found out – would he ? 

" You can always ask him to leave , Ken . To make him go away and never come back . It's so easy , it'll spare you from all the pain ." Suddenly , Aya's face was just inches from his , and his eyes were shining like cold steel . 

" Stop it ! Stop ! I love him Aya ! I ... I can't just ... die ... I can't ... I ..." Ken buried his face into his hand , wild gasping sobs racking his thin frame . 

Strong arms circled him comfortingly . " I'm sorry Ken . God ... I'm so , so sorry ..." 

                                                            † † †

**R_M : **Well , that's it for this chapter ! Sorry about it being so short and all . I'm still pretty much harassed at this time so ... well , just be glad that I got to post _something_ this weekend , even if it IS crappy ...

**Schu :** I'm trying hard not to let that happen (about school eating me up) But we've been especially busy lately since there is a soccer competition coming up soon and schoolwork is just being heaped by the ton . And yes , Aya does know about Ken's illness .

**Mariki :** Honestly I was surprised by your reaction O__O;; I think you're the only one who said that . Angst ? Yeah , probably .

**Ketty :** -^__~- Is that a promise ? Then I will ! ^__^

**Ariestar48 :** O____O _*major sweatdrop*_ Uh ... so which is it ? Ultimate evil ... or good story ? _*hides in a corner and mopes*_ T__T Arigatou for saying that though , it means a lot . ^__^

**Kasugai Gummie  :** _*gets spat on the face with coffee*_ O__O;; @ blood and gore and swearing on Ran's head . 

**Whisper Reilman :** _*lol at the 'soggy soggy angst'*_ Plan Alpha ??? _*rolls around , laughing*_ bwahaha ! _*bug eyes at the mention of cloning and taking body parts from Rei Ayanami*_

**Dan :** Yup , I know what you mean . My p.c. has a mind of its own . 

**Marsupial :** No , a marrow transplant still hasn't been done ; and no , no chemo yet. I agree , cancer is a BAD BAD thing . 

**Jenken :** I hope so . You guys know how much I love reviews ! ^__^ Now you know how Aya reacted to it . 

**Manx16 :** You're the second person to declare the depth of my evilness ! (or in other cases , meanness , badness or wickedness) Y__Y Yes , even I am starting to believe that I am evil !!! @__@

**Anna Hibiki :** Yay ! Another chappie in the Anna Hibiki Fave Fics Folder !!!! Yay !!! ^__^ 

**Misura :** _*signs resignedly*_ Yes , I guess I am mean . You are forgiven and it is forgotten .

**Ryia Jen Rowen :** _*fans unconscious Ryia*_ Umm ... some help here ? Yes , sometimes it sucks being right (I can say that from experience)


	19. Living in dreams

Ken stared up at the ceiling . Only feeble lights, blinking and dancing from the machines connected to his body, illuminated the room . 

Aya had gone home to get some rest . The doctor had persuaded him to go and Ken had pretended to be asleep so that Aya would allow himself to be herded outside without any further threats of death and carnage . 

Aya was like that at times , but Ken knew that his bark was worse than his bite , for he had always been so gentle to him . 

There was no way that his brother would go if he knew Ken was awake . 

Schuldich was dozing at his bedside , his hand gripping Ken's wrist possessively . It made Ken smile , to see how much the redhead regarded him even in his sleep . He brushed away the silky tendrils of hair and sighed sadly . 

The truth was , Ken couldn't sleep . He couldn't drift away . 

He had woken from a troubled slumber , plagued with nightmares and unattainable wishes . Schuldich's face haunted him even in the inner depths of his and it hurt like friggin hell . 

Ken could never forget .

He could never fail to remember those fiery orange tresses or the sparkling jade eyes . He could never _not_hear the confident alto of his voice or the confident laughter . He couldn't just bring himself to lose the thoughts of his tenderness ... of his love . 

_Schuldich Schwarz . _

_Schuldich .___

_Schwarz ._

It was strange how different it felt now to be saying his name ; how different it was to say his name now from before . 

When Schuldich had said his name on that first day , about one month or so ago , Ken felt his heart skip a beat and it felt comfortable , just to call him Schuldich , or Schu was enough for him to think that the other man felt at least some friendship towards him ... but now ... it was as if the three syllables took a different meaning . 

Schuldich's name didn't bring friendship anymore ... 

It brought comfort , strength ... it didn't bring friendship , but it brought a surge of love so strong that Ken would almost forget that he was sick . 

He knew Schuldich loved him as much as he loved Schuldich , he knew that his ... passing ... would only bring him pain ; it would take his lover some time before he could accept . 

Maybe a month ...

Maybe a week ... 

Maybe a year ... 

Maybe a day ... 

He didn't care how long it would take for Schuldich to forget him ; the truth was , he didn't want to be forgotten by the by the only person who loved him that way , but he also loved Schuldich so much that he didn't want the photographer to nurse the pain . 

He closed his eyes and briefly pictured the redhead's grinning face in his mind's eye , watching him as he laughed at Ken . He imagined him taking pictures , laughing at Ken's antics and jokes . 

Maybe he should have let go sooner .

Maybe he shouldn't have waited for Schuldich to find out . 

Oh , why didn't he find a way ? Why didn't he just send Schuldich away before he could cause him pain ? 

He could've pretended to not love him anymore . He could have pretended that Schuldich wasn't the one he was looking for , that Schuldich wasn't enough for him . 

Yes , dear God , that would hurt him , but that was nothing compared to what was in store for him . 

He could have even just let him go to the tall , raven-haired man , Crawford . 

There were so many ways that he could have saved Schuldich from the pain –  but no , he was just too selfish . He wanted Schuldich to remain by his side , to continue on loving him the way he did . 

_Oh God ! _

_What had he done ? _

_He had hurt Schuldich so much , he had caused the only person he had ever loved a great deal of pain , just because he was too selfish to let go ... _

For a week , Schuldich had fallen asleep at his side , ignoring the angry glares of Aya . For one whole week , he had not budged from his position even with the doctor's threat of the hospital security save to drive home , bathe and change his clothes . 

He knew Aya didn't approve of his relationship with ' the arrogant bastard photographer ' but he also knew that Aya cared too much to force them apart especially after the incident the day before  .

And for those seven days , he had seen the pain lurking in the depths of Schuldich's soulful eyes . 

They had not spoken about his sickness yet . Perhaps they weren't ready yet to talk about that . He wasn't sure that they would ever be ready , or that he would last long enough to live . 

" Schuldich ..."

Maybe it would hurt the redhead more than it would hurt him . 

Because it was Schuldich who was being left , not the other way around .

He rubbed his eyes tiredly , knowing without looking at himself that he looked magnificently terrible . He wondered how Schuldich reacted to seeing him like that . 

Schuldich had always been saying that Ken was 'beautiful' , that he was perfect . Schuldich had always been so nice to him like no one else had been . 

The fact that Schuldich , who in Ken's eyes the most perfect human on the face of the planet , loved him , made his heart burst in its cage . Plain old Ken Hidaka was loved by the famous , handsome , charming Schuldich Schwarz . 

His thoughts drifted away , remembering the soft comfort and the wonderful love he had gotten from the redhead and imagined what his future would be like , living with Schuldich .

They'd be living in the large penthouse flat and Aya would be on the floor just below them . He'd be earning more than enough from his advertisement modeling to keep Aya from working two jobs and they could finally buy whatever they wanted without having to worry what to eat the next day . They would go to buy new clothes , then they'd visit amusement parks , all three of them . 

Somehow , he would manage to bring Schuldich and Aya to at least like each other , if not , he could even settle for toleration . 

He laid there , a contented look on his face as he imagined what the future with Schuldich held for him .

Life would be perfect .

_Don't try to fool yourself . _A voice inside his head snapped harshly . _There is NO future for you . Not with Schuldich , not with anyone . _

The voice was right ... he no longer had a future . He could think that way before – he could make believe that his sickness would just magically disappear without a trace and he'd be back in school , playing soccer , with his friends . 

It was too late to pretend now . It was too late for _anything_ now ...

A ghost of a smile parted his lips . It wasn't one of happiness or amusement ... it was a derisory smile . He was amazed by the irony of it all . 

Before he met Schuldich , it was all too easy to pretend that nothing was wrong , that everything was going to be all right . 

Somehow , he was glad that his 'friends' had distanced themselves from him , because it would mean that he wouldn't have to talk to them about his ... sickness ... he didn't want to leave anyone unhappy – even if they weren't sincere to him after all .

He had never thought of it before , but somehow , he already knew long before that they were just using him . Some wanted his academic boost , some wanted to purloin a bit of his popularity . 

_Everyone_ wanted something at least . It was always take and take and take . 

'Hey Ken , could you help me with this ?' or 'Nice save Ken ! By the way , I'm Murasaki . Would you like to go out and celebrate' , 'Ken , could you convince Professor Treiger to put a passing mark on my paper ?' or 'Ken , I'm going to join the varsity tryouts . Could you drop in a good word for me ?' 

They always needed something from him .

They took enough from him to drain him of everything . He had felt empty in the company of his so-called friends , and yet he had turned a blind eye to it . 

He assumed that it was just normal , that it was just his illness talking but then , when he had dropped out , they scattered away like flies , leaving him with nothing but his emptiness . 

He had accepted death then . 

He had accepted that he was going to die soon , within the year , he was told . He had already resigned himself to his fate to wait for the moment when he had to say good-bye to his brother and just leave without a trace . He would be just one of the nameless and the faceless whom no one remembered . Only Aya would remember .

But then , Schuldich walked into his life , dressed in his long coat with his hair tossed regally behind him , a large black contraption hanging from his neck and everything changed . What had once been taken , he was now given . 

The acceptance that he had fought so long to attain had suddenly gone within just mere moments . 

He was ready to die ... but now , Schuldich had given him a reason to be afraid of death ... because Schuldich was reason enough . 

He glanced at his palm and watched the tubes run from his wrist , transporting liquids in and out of his body . 

How easy it would be to pull those tubes and be done with it ... he would no longer have to think about the consequences of his relationship , or the results of his actions ... 

... but Schuldich was coming tonight ... he couldn't just leave him without saying good-bye ... he couldn't leave without saying 'I love you' . 

He just couldn't desert Schuldich and Aya like that , it would be unfair for both of them . 

He hoped that he would be gone soon , that he didn't have long to wait . Each moment was a dusting agony and the knowledge that he was going to die sooner or later made him feel impatient to let the darkness claim him .

The coin of life and death had been tossed and the decision had been made . He knew that struggling against the tide would be pointless , he would drown and sink ; but he'd like to say goodbye before that happened . 

Only two people mattered .

Two fiery people ... with red hair . One arrogant , the other faultily cold . So different and so the same . 

Schuldich , his first love ; Aya , his only family .

They would perchance find each other when he was gone . They would perhaps take comfort in the fact that he loved them both to death ... 

All the thinking and the painful agony had drained him without his moving a single finger . He felt like he had played a ten-hour soccer game , running across the field with eleven other men chasing after him . 

He closed his eyes slowly and let sleep claim him , no longer aware of the tiny trickle of blood snaking its way from his nostrils . 

It would be dawn soon , and dreams offered much more beautiful fairytales than the cruel reality . 

His dreams would offer him health , and he'd be living safe and healthy with the two people he loved most in the world .

                                                               † † †

" It's so cold today ..." Ken shivered and snuggled closer to Schuldich , burying his face against Schuldich's strong shoulder . 

Schuldich smiled and ruffled the hazel mess of hair tucked under his chin . 

They were watching the sun set from the edge of the city bay and marveled at the golden tones of the dying sun's rays . 

There were reds and oranges , golds and warm yellow , burgundy and ginger ... 

" I'm glad they let me out of the hospital . You know I can't stand staying there for more than thirty minutes ." Ken glanced up at the redhead with a tiny smile lingering gently at the corner of his lips .

" They wanted to keep you for at least a week more , but I told them , No hell ! I knew you wouldn't want to stay there for any longer ... besides , I miss going out into the city with you ." 

" Are you sure Aya's fine with us tramping all over the city ? I mean , well , not that I'm complaining , I'm just surprised that he let us go ." 

" Oh sure , he didn't say a word , although I get the idea that he wanted to say that if you get hurt or anything of the sort , he'll have my head . Although I don't plan on letting anything happen to you ." 

He nuzzled the sensitive part at the nape of Ken's neck and smirked in pleased amusement when the brunette swatted him playfully on the shoulder . " Heyyy ! What's the big idea ?!" He demanded .

Schuldich grinned . " Nothing . I just missed you , that's all ." 

" But you were with me the whole time !" Ken protested , his eyes wide and round as saucers . He was a child , like that . 

The sun had finally set below the horizon , and they were suddenly engulfed in blue-black darkness . Only one star twinkled vividly in the heavenly canopy . 

" Schuldich ..." Ken gazed gently at the redhead , his expression tender . " I ..." 

Suddenly , there was an earthquake . The ground was seized with violent tremors . It felt like the world was falling into a thousand pieces .

And then , Ken was falling ... 

Falling ...

Falling into a dark abyss ... 

" Schuldich !!!" 

Schuldich's eyes flew open ; his body jerked upright , rigidly . 

Ken lay on the bed bathed in silver moonlight , his frail body racked with violent seizures . His lips opened in a silent cry , calling to Schuldich .

" Nurse !!!" Schuldich's roar echoed all throughout the floor and within mere moments , the small room was flooded with a harsh white light and people rushed into the room . 

" Sir , please step out of the room ." 

" I can't ! He needs me ?" Schuldich was now struggling to get past two orderlies in white who had formed a solid barricade against him .

" It would be advisable for you to leave sir . You may see him again later ." 

And the door was shut in front of his face . Blinking , he stood there for a moment , waiting for a rational line of thought to kick in , and after a second of indecision , he clenched his teeth and walked briskly away . 

It was high time that he did something about Ken's sickness . 

He was going to call in _all_ the favors owed him , and goddamn it , he was going to get Ken cured . 

                                                                   † † †

Aya came as soon as he had heard . 

Miss Birman was genuinely sympathetic when she heard that Ken had had another seizure and said that she didn't mind at all if Aya took off . 

Aya was worried . God ! How he was worried . 

After the doctors had promised a miraculous relapse ; after they said that the tumor was completely gone ; after the said that Ken was going to be perfectly fine , this happened ! 

Doctors were liars , all of them ; there wasn't a single one you could trust . 

Damned bastards ... 

Aya rubbed his eyes , acutely aware of this stinging pain pricking his eyeballs . He hadn't had any sleep since the day Ken was confined in the hospital ; it was either he was working his ass off to pay for the bills or he was with Ken , watching his brother's pain-etched face as he slept . 

The other redhead was always around too . Aya suspected that the man would only go home to change and bathe before driving back to the hospital , and although it was a fact that there was no love lost between the two of them , it impressed upon Aya that maybe , just maybe , the man cared about Ken almost as much as he did .

Aya didn't know what he would do if Ken was ... 

Damn it .

Aya blinked his painful eyes against the glaring sunlight trying to fight away the brightness .

He couldn't possibly live without his younger brother . Suddenly , he felt guilty for putting Ken in such a position that he did the day before ; to make him choose between his elder brother and his lover .

He couldn't help it . When it came to Ken , the only thing he could think about was that his brother was _his_ and he was selfish then .

Ken was the only one he loved in this world ; the only one God had left him . There was no way that he was going to let him go anywhere anytime soon . Aya was a fighter . He fought for himself and his brother ; and he sure as hell was going to fight for him now , even if it meant wrestling with the devil himself . 

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand , momentarily dazed with sleep , he blinked a few more times before focusing back on the road . 

Suddenly , he gave a surprised shout as he yanked the steering wheel to the left . He had not seen the red light , nor had he seen children crossing the street herded by a pair of teachers . 

It was only his quick reflexes that saved all of the children . 

The tires squealed in protest as the rover careened out of the slick road and reeled into a wild drunken swerve . 

The last thing Aya saw was the solid grey school wall before his rover smashed and the protesting squeal of metal rose above the terrified shrieks . 

                                                                        † † †

**R_M :** WHOAA !!!! This is LOOOOONG !!!!! Anyway , it's my treat to you guys for taking so long to update !!! Bah ... it took me three weeks to update only to bring bad news ne ? *_shrugs*_ Gomen ne , I've been really busy ! I wonder if anyone out there wants to volunteer to bomb my school . *_lol* _Anyway , Happy Halloween ! (*__*)

**Schu :** _*(.) at Aya being tied to a chair* Oh goodie ! _*is thinking of evil things to do to him*_ I'm not sure he could , but Schu isn't exactly one to follow all the rules , besides , I don't think he'll just stand there and watch Ken starve to death , he loves Kenken too much to let that happen ne ? The soccer competition went worse than really bad . I got a lot of injuries and worse , I have a bad leg injury , plus , we only won bronze . (T__T) That's the reason why I'm home , absent from school , typing out this chappie because I don't exactly have a choice . _

**Manx16 :** I guess it could make sense if you think about it _*lol*_ Schu leave Ken ? Now that's an idea . _*ignores evil death glares by wearing shades* _

**Ariestar48 :** Ah yes , another cliffhanger . _*hides*_ I can't guarantee _anything_ right now . My muses are holding a hunger strike . 

**KyraEnsui**** :** _*cheers with you*_

**Whisper Reilman :** Another beautiful day _*agrees*_ Another unexpected thing at an unexpected time . I wonder what happens to Aya ... There are so many ideas and I don't know what to do with all of them . I don't really want to exceed twenty-five chapters ... but at this rate with all the suggestions and insinuations , I'm not sure . Hmmm . Maybe I should be the one to get a puppy named Chibi-Ken . 

**Dan :** I'm sorry about the soon , but there is more , don't ya worry about that . 

**Zeto**** :** I'm glad I actually moved someone to tears , it's almost a dream come true _*lol*_ ( I wanted to make a movie that actually make people care about it , but I guess I have to settle for fics now) I'm feeling fine , thanks . The truth is , I've never been as devastated as the characters here , so I guess I'm just projecting myself and thinking about how I would feel if I was in their place . I think it's working , ne ? Thank you , thank you for all your beautiful compliments . _*blushes*_

**Mariki**** :** Yes , I must admit that it was a strange reaction . Don't worry tho , you're not alone in being sadistic (being a one myself) _*sweatdrops*_ So this fic falls in the yaoi category ? I thought it was just plain old shonen-ai ... _*shrugs*_ Well anyway ... Arigatou ! I really appreciate your saying that ! ^^;

**Misura**** :** _*nodsnodsnodsnods*_ I agree with you thoroughly about Aya . (,) Get them together ?!?!?!?!?! Now you're putting ideas into my head !!!! (O__O) Yes , I'm a medical ignoramus too . I must've been out sick when God spread that talent around . Prove you wrong huh ? Let's just wait and see ! ^__~

**Chahiya**** :** The ending is quite far away . You still have (fortunately or unfortunately) have to wait a few more chapters . Diabetic ? Now that's an idea . I just might put a parody chapter . _*lol*_ I'll think about your suggestions with much gravity . Though I'm afraid , you'll have to be satisfied with this installment until I get my muses hooked on prozac . ^__~

**Ketty**** :** Yes you are _*grins*_ I can't say anything to that yet . We'll just have to wait and see ne ? 

**xXLil**** Yu JahXx :** Let's have a bet on that ne ? _*winks*_ Haha ! I'm just teasing you ! ^__~ Thanks for that compliment ! ^^;

**Yukai**** o kitsune :** _*lol*_ Yesyesyes ! Here's the update !!! ^ . ^

**Ryia**** Jen Rowen :** _*O__O at dead Aya*_ A-Anou ... _*backs away from raving lunatic*_ A-anou Kenkeeeeeeen !!!! _*runs away behind Ken*_

**Anna Hibiki :** _*big eyes*_ H-help . _*stumbles away*_ My God , I seem to have created an army of mad , blood-craving lunatics !!!! Yes , Schu is just too cute ! ^__^


	20. Call me , call me

He was dead tired ; but he didn't give a shit . He had to find something to make Ken better again , and he didn't mind if he wasn't able to sleep again for a year , just as long as he got what he wanted . 

He already called a fourth of the people in his cell's phonebook . He had talked to mayors , producers , CEO's , chairmen ... the list was endless . 

He wondered how Yohji managed to stuff hundreds of names in his phonebook . Come to think of it ... he never looked at it anyway . 

He sighed and blinked his eyes rapidly , trying in vain to drive away sleep . 

God ! He was tired !

Schuldich was driving towards the city's main hospital to meet up with a famous surgeon there . He had already made an appointment on the phone just an hour ago when the doctors had driven him away from Ken's bedside . 

He was anxious to get news of Ken , he wanted to know desperately how the brunette was doing and being away from his bedside was killing him but he knew he had to do this . 

For Ken . 

He'd been trying to contact them every five minutes to see how Ken was doing , so far with no luck . 

He had promised himself that he was not going to let Ken die . And he wasn't . Even through just sheer force of will ; Ken was going to survive . 

He ground his teeth . He could feel the cold sweat trickling down his neck like a nervous snake ; writhing ever so slowly . 

Why did he feel so damn apprehensive ? 

His cell phone sounded , jarring him out of his thoughts . " Yeah ? Hey man . I'm fine Yohj . No . Just tired . Have you talked to the doctor from Europe ? You made an appointment ? Tomorrow . Eight-thirty a.m. No , it's fine . Thanks man . I owe you one ." 

His shoulders slumped as he flipped off his phone ; like he had been drained of all energy . He certainly felt like it too , an he didn't know what else he could do to change that . 

He watched the stoplight turn green and drove on , turning round the bend to the steep climb as the large private hospital came into view . 

Maybe he should go back to Ken ... 

No . He'd been driving for more than half an hour . He should at least get what he came there for . 

He had to find someone to operate on Ken ; someone who could cure him . And if the doctor in this hospital could , he could stand to be away from Ken for an hour so he could stay with him for even longer ... hopefully , a lifetime ...

He parked his Beemer in an empty slot and reached for the door , he paused , once more nervous , as if something was gnawing at the back of his mind . His hands refused to stay still for even a moment , and they moved almost with a mind of their own . 

Suddenly , he was acutely aware of the wailing of sirens growing louder and louder with each passing moment until an ambulance careened into view up the front entrance of the hospital . 

The ambulance doors were flung open and several paramedics jumped out hauling a stretcher carefully onto the ground .

For a moment , Schuldich thought that he was hallucinating . 

It couldn't be ... 

And yet ... 

" Aya ?" He drew a painful breath and rushed to the harried personnel , his eyes widening as he saw the battered body of Ken's domineering elder brother . 

This can't be happening . Ken can't lose Aya too ... 

No ... God can't be too cruel ! How could he take everything away all at once from someone who lived so unselfishly his whole life ? 

Why ? 

*

Blood was everywhere ; and he wasn't sure if the redhead was even alive . 

People were shouting left and right . 

It was pandemonium and there was nothing he could do but stand there ; alone and unmoving . Too much was happening in too short a span of time and he didn't know if he was capable of digesting it all .

People gathering around , forming a white crowd surging forward through the white corridors , echoing the harried shouts and the frantic orders .

It was like a recurring nightmare ; only this time , it wasn't Ken who was lying pale and motionless on the white stretcher . 

Only this time , the broken body's scarlet hair faded into the swirling mass of burgundy soaking into the pristine cover .  

Oh God . How was he going to tell Ken ? 

Suddenly , amidst the flurry and the noise and the terrible chaos , his cellular phone rang ; it's tiny shrilling sound barely audible above the general confusion . 

He grabbed it , his hands shaking ; his nerves frazzled . " Hello ?" He felt so weak . He felt like his knees would buckle under him and he'd make such a big fool of himself . Days of being unable to eat and sleep properly ; all the emotional roller coaster rides were taking a large toll on his body and his soul . 

" Mr. Schwarz ?" 

" What ?" It came out harsher than expected . It was the voice of a man on surviving the edge .

" We couldn't contact Mr. Fujimiya ; so I'm afraid I have to tell _you_ the bad news ."

The detached voice paused for a moment , obviously trying to gain his bearings . 

" We regret to inform you that our patient , Ken Hidaka , had just fallen into a coma twenty minutes ago ."

                                                                 † † †

**Schu :** Hah ! I'm so glad that you haven't killed me yet ! After your brief bout of hysteria I was kinda fearing for my life ! _*lol*_ Thanks , I'm a bit better now . I guess bronze is fine , I was just a bit disappointed . But I'm great now ! ^__^

**KyraEnsui**** :** Sorry about that ! ^__~ But you know how I am . I just love leaving people at the edge of their seats (if that happens at all) Call it a complex . (maybe I should name it Cliffhanger Complex) Bwahahahaha !!!! 

**Carrothien**** :** Why hello there ! ^__^ It was meant to be unexpected ! ^__~ You know how it is . _*lol*_ like I said , Cliffhanger Complex ! Thanks , I hope to see more of you around !

**Ariestar48 :** _*evil laughter echoing at the background , and screams too*_ Alternate meaning ? I'm not too sure yet . Just a few more chapters to go and we'll wait it out together . (I'd like to find out if I'm truly a sadist !) I'm glad that I 'made it work and made it good' . It feels good to know my work is appreciated . ^_______^

**Ketty**** :** It does doesn't it ? ^__+ Woohoo !!! Just a few more weeks of waiting . I can't believe that this is going for sooo long already !!! 

**Chahiya**** :** I do , don't I ? ^____~ Yup , you did , quite a few times already , methinks . (Actually , I'm on it , but don't tell anybody ! j/k!) Thanks a lot , I'll be counting on that ! ^__~

**Whisper Reilman :** new plan , new plan ! Yippeeee !!! ^o^ Plan Alpha ? . Plan Beta ? . _*just bursts into evil laughter*_ Thanks for saying that , I appreciate it a lot . _*ponders*_ maybe I should become a novelist ! :P Bunnies and happiness ? I'll think about it , although I can't guarantee I'll be much fun with that kind of plot . ^___~

**Zeto**** :** So did you cry when he did ? _*evil laughter again , heh*_ That really cracked me up , the comment about Aya kicking the bucket . My imagination took it quite literally and I could imagine Aya with a rope around his neck standing on a bucket and then jumping off . _*rolls around , laughing*_ Owww . _*wipes away the tears of laughter*_ Aherrrrm . Well anyway . I agree . Ken IS more lovable . Still my champion at the top of my list ! Thank you , thank you ~ _*bows*_

**E-san :** Hello there ! I'm glad to see yet another new reader ! ^__^ Welcome to my insanity then , and I hope to see more of you around too ! 

**Schu-chan :** Now . I make people worry . YES !!! Favorfavorsfavors . I hear Schu called Dr. Jekyll for an appointment , to discuss Ken's surgery . I wonder how Ken will look after it _*pondersponders* _Evil ? Yes ! 

**Misura**** :** Sorry , Aya was brought to another hospital . I can't have them being sick together now can I ? It's too complicated . (Not that I mind it being too complicated XD) Sorry about that . I didn't mean to make anyone depressed . Or maybe I did . Nannnya . Borderline personality talking here . I'm glad you found the characters even a bit realistic . I was wondering if my imagination (and my muses) are going out of hand , having a party with my dad's collection of vodka . 


	21. Waking up from a senseless dream

He didn't exactly know what happened next . 

All he knew was one moment he was standing outside the hospital doors , staring at Ken's brother being wheeled away ; the next moment he was waking up on a spare hospital bed .

A nurse looked up from the patient she was checking and smiled brightly . " Are you feeling fine now , Mr. Schwarz ?" 

He blinked . _How did she know his name ?_

As if reading his mind , she grinned and said , " I happen to be one of your biggest fans . I think all your pictures are fantastic ." 

" Thanks ." He murmured . For some reason , goosebumps ran up and down his skin like some strange tingling . 

_Ken_ ...

No ... he still had to find out about Aya . Ken had to know what had happened to his brother ... his only family ! 

But Ken needed him ! No ! 

Shit !

He didn't know what to do next !

_Ken ... _

That can't be right . Ken couldn't be in a coma . 

He just couldn't accept that . Ken was fine just an hour ago . Aya probably needed him more at the moment . He did look like shit and the way he was lolling his head , it probably meant that that glare was out of his face as of the moment .  

Schuldich forced a smile on his face , wanting to believe the lies that he was feeding himself , trying to force the twisted-truths into facts . 

Ken was going to smile up at him the moment he walked out that door . 

Thank goodness he was still dressed in his jeans . He still had a meeting with the surgeon to go to . Damn ! He was probably too late ! 

He glanced at his watch , whose face had cracked because of his fall , a little dazedly and a thought hit him . 

" Nurse !" He said suddenly , his heart pounding . He had no idea what he was going to tell Ken if ... if ... 

" How is the redhead who had been wheeled in earlier ?" 

" Oh you mean the one in the car accident ?" The nurse looked surprised at the sudden and apprehensive inquiry .

" Yes . How is he ?" Schuldich stood up , towering over the diminutive frame of the blond nurse , his eyes smoldering like jade flames . 

He had to know ! 

For Ken ! 

She stared up at him , a bit unnerved by his sudden hostile attitude . " I'm not sure , I'll check with the other nurses ." And she hurried away , leaving Schuldich to fend off his frantic thoughts . 

He ventured out of the ward , ignoring the stares of the patients , just in time to see the blond nurse stop and talk to a group of other nurses ; gesturing discreetly to the tall redhead in black . 

He couldn't hear what they were saying from where he was , but he could see the other two nurses shaking their heads and giving him sad looks . 

The blond nurse walked slowly back to him . Almost as if she was afraid of him . 

" I'm sorry Mr. Schwarz . The man ... Hidaka Aya , died on arrival ." 

_We regret to inform you that our patient , Ken Hidaka , had just fallen into a coma twenty minutes ago_ .

" That can't be ! He was fine when he went in ! I saw him being wheeled in ." Schuldich clenched his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white .

_I'm sorry Mr. Schwarz . The man ... Hidaka Aya , died on arrival ._

And he didn't know if he was referring to Ken Hidaka , or Aya Hidaka . 

In fact ; he didn't understand anything anymore ... 

_We regret to inform you that our patient , Ken Hidaka , had just fallen into a coma twenty minutes ago_ .

_I'm sorry Mr. Schwarz . The man ... Hidaka Aya , died on arrival_

Suddenly , the reality of the situation hit him . He had been denying the truth from himself , and now , he had to face it . 

Ken Hidaka ... was in a coma ... 

... and Aya was dead ... 

The nurse , Rika Akawa , looked sadly at him . It wasn't the first time that friends and relatives acted the way he was acting at this moment . It saddened her that it was one of her biggest idols who was undergoing this kind of pain . He must be really close to the deceased . 

" It's true , sir . I'm sorry ." 

_We regret to inform you that our patient , Ken Hidaka , had just fallen into a coma twenty minutes ago_ .

_I'm sorry Mr. Schwarz . The man ...  Hidaka Aya , died on arrival_ .

Suddenly , he was stumbling blindly through the door , oblivious to all the stares , the hushed whispers and the surreptitious glances . 

_Ken ... _

_He had to ..._

_be ... _

_with Ken ... _

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**R_M :** _*looks thoughtfully*_ Hmmmm ... roughly about five people hate me so much that they punished me by not reviewing ... T_____T _*bawls*_ I bet more people hate me now ! But continue on reviewing !!! By the way !!!! I HAVE POSTED A TEASER/PROLOGUE TO ANOTHER **Schu/Ken Crawford/Ken** FICCIE !!! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW BECAUSE I WILL TRULY APPRECIATE IT !!! ^__________^ I'd like to know if there's a chance that I might be encouraged to continue it and have as many readers as this one has ! It's entitled , well perhaps temporarily , **'Moonbeams in your smile' **Yup , the title is crappy . The story ? We'll see . 

**Ariestar48 :** _*Uh-oh's at the puppy dog eyes*_ Oh man ! This can't be true ! My readers are turning into puppies !!! _*runs away because she knows that puppy dog eyes are a sign that readers are really killers disguised as mascots*_ And yes _*thinks*_, you have mentioned it before .

**KyraEnsui**** :** Here I go again . Me and my complex . People damn want to kill me now , I can tell !

**Schu :** Your wish is my command . He did just get into a hospital as a sort-of 'patient' . That's VERY good news !!! Whoopee ! At least when I get death threats , I know they don't come from you ! ^__~

**Chahiya**** :** Ah , Aya-kun has now been admitted . I'm so sorry , I didn't even tell you guys how exactly he died ... but I wanted it to be more like Ken and Schu centered and stuff . And my muse has taken a dose or two of prozac , but I guess she needs more ! ^ . ^ Arigatou gozaimashita !

**Zeto**** :** Hmmmmmmmmm ... I don't like the sound of that ! O______O;;; You ... you will ? _*squeaks*_ Thanks . You saying that it makes your day makes _my day !_

**Manx16 :** _*sighs*_ I've been getting that a lot . _*resignedly*_ Yes , I am evil , horrible , cruel , wicked , obnoxious , vile , nasty and so many other things . _*grins*_ but don't you like me for it ? ^___~

**Whisper Reilman :** Ah yes , the memories . It seems just like yesterday when everyone was fine and enjoying their lives . Look at them now . Miserable . And Aya . Dead . _*ish damned*_ As I have said before , I agree . I am EviL . Hmmm . I'm even starting to like being evil . Maybe I was born evil . Or better yet , I'm the devil incarnate . O____O;;; Nah ! I can't be THAT evil ! I made Schu and Ken meet didn't I ? Nope , never heard of it . But I guess that the title does suit Schu very much . Toodledoo !! ^^;

**Misura**** :** Oooooops ... _*sheepish smile*_ I guess there's no one reason to say 'Yay!' anymore ... O_____O;;; Wah . I can't believe I actually have a pace that you guys like . I thought I was just rambling and chugging on my choo-choo train . ^____^ I guess fate just dared . ^___~

**Schu-chan :** _*sweatdrops and hides under Ken's blanket*_ Uh ... but I did tell you how he is . Now . In this chapter , ne ? _*crawls out*_ Besides , a dead Aya can't hurt me now ! _*cheers*_

Schu-chan : ¬____¬ _*grabs katana from dead Aya and decapitates Redemption*_

R_M : _*head rolling around*_ (O____O);;;; Urk ...


	22. Back into his arms

The office was dimly lit , most of the employees had gone home to their families and he was the only one left . 

Yohji sat up suddenly on his chair , his brows knitted together in surprise . 

" ... you will ? 

Yes , I understand that there are no guarantees ; 

but ... 

they're willing to take the risk . 

Hn . 

Yes , the expenses will be covered by my company . Yes , I've contacted someone who will supply all the instruments you'll need . 

I have to verify it with his doctors , I'll talk to you about it when he's healthy enough for an operation . 

Thank you , Doctor . I'll call you soon ." 

Yohji sighed as he replaced the receiver and leaned back on his chair . 

He was harboring a large headache and it was getting on his nerves . 

" Schul . You owe me one ." He said out loud , gulping down his fifth cup of lukewarm coffee before jumping up to his feet and hurrying to his car , grabbing his coat on the way out . 

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He knew he had a fever . He knew it the moment he had gotten into his car . Over-fatigue had taken its toll and he knew it wasn't long before he'd have to be bedridden as well . He clenched his teeth as his vision blurred into a kaleidoscope of colours . 

_... just a little more ..._

His fingers felt like jelly as he turned the key and switched the engine off ; his teeth were chattering now , and he was feeling colder than he had ever felt in his life . 

_I'm almost there , Ken ..._

People were staring strangely at him now as he lurched through the corridors and into the elevator , his head rolling over to the side uncontrollably as if it took too much effort to hold it up . 

" Excuse me sir , are you alright ?" The only other passenger there , a nurse , asked him with worried eyes . 

Schuldich looked at her vaguely , reminded of the other nurse's words , in a different world , a different time , a different reality . " I'm fine ." It took all his energy to say those few words . 

The numbers on the digital face rose slowly . 

15 ... 16 ... 17 ... 18 .

_Ping__ !_

The doors opened and he stepped out unsurely , his normally graceful stride looking like a drunkard's swagger . 

The white corridors spun , and white walls blended with white doors into a mass of whiteness .

He could Ken's door ; it was almost in his reach . In a sudden fit of helplessness , he collapsed but was caught by a pair of strong tanned arms . 

" Whoa there ! Your little lover there wouldn't want to see that kind of Schul inside his room !" The teasing voice of Yohji greeted his ears .

And he looked up to see the grinning face of his friend ; him with his cheeks slightly reddish with fever . " How ... is he ?" 

" He's gonna be fine man . A doctor's willing to operate !" 

" He ... is ?" Schuldich croaked ; a small worn-out smile lighting his flushed face before he fell asleep in Yohji's arms . 

                                                              † † †

Yohji placed his friend on the chair beside the boy's bed and put the redhead's cheek against the steady rising and falling chest of the sleeping brunette . 

He knew that Schuldich had sacrificed so much for this kid . He'd sacrificed so much that maybe he hadn't even thought of leaving anything to himself . 

It was sad , and yet at the same time , it made Yohji smile . 

The arrogant and detached photographer Schuldich Schwarz had finally learned what it is to love and he knew that Ken was worth it too . 

He was glad that he would finally be able to give something back to Schuldich . 

_Soon ... everything will be fine soon ..._

" Nurse ! Could you get a spare bed in here please , I've got someone here who's got a high fever ." 

                                                                      † † †

He woke up from a dreamless sleep , his head heavy . 

He had no idea what had happened , only that he was on his way to Ken .

_Ken ! _

He jerked up from his leaning position only to find that he had been sleeping bent over the one person that mattered to him the most . 

He still felt like hell , that much was for sure – but the sight of Ken looking as if he was just sleeping peacefully on that white bed was enough to reassure him completely and ignore the pounding in his temples . 

_He looked so perfect ... _

_So beautiful . _

Schuldich couldn't believe how lucky he was to have met such a beautiful person as the one who was lying so silently before him . Even after all the pain , all the heartache ... Ken was well worth it . 

Schuldich would have rather died a painful death that spend a moment regretting that he had never met that glorious angel that had changed his dull existence into a beautiful dream . 

Even the worst day was fine just as long as Ken was at his side ; and Schuldich felt his heart constrict every time the thought occurred to him that just a little difference would have caused him not to meet Ken at all . 

It was frightening . 

" So you're awake ." He turned slowly , knowing who he was going to see standing over him with a self-satisfied smirk on his face .

" Yohji ."

" So , man . How're you feeling ?" 

" I've seen better days ... but I'll survive ." He gave a small grin as he straightened up on his seat ; feeling a little bit sluggish still . 

" Well , I have a feeling that you won't die so easy ." Yohji teased . 

" You can bet on that ." 

" The doctor says that there's a big possibility that he'll wake soon . Maybe a few days . Maybe a few hours ." Schuldich pulled up a chair and sat down beside Schuldich , watching the rhythmic rise and fall of Schuldich's source of affection .

Schuldich nodded slowly , feeling vastly relieved at the good news . 

" I love him Yohji ." He said it so suddenly , with such emotion that Yohji looked up in surprise . " I couldn't help it , even when I tried ." 

" Yeah , I know , Schul , I know ." 

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**Redemption_Moon**** :** Goodness gracious ! Chapter twenty-two already ! And I intended for it to end at twenty five !!! O___O;;; Crap . Maybe I should try for the thirtieth chapter mark . NOOOO !!! I wanted to end at twenty-five so I could start my other fic ! T_____T Support it please !!!! _*Kenken kitty-katzchen eyes*_

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**Schu :** Yes , I'm afraid he did . _*sighs in relief that RM won't be killed*_ O____O ;;; Mymymy , you're pretty violent if I say so myself ... oh yes , please continue on reviewing !! ^____^

**ariestar48 :** Any comments ? Everything , including flames are welcome (I think I've gotten a LOT of those recently) ^___^

**KyraEnsui**** :** _*fans her and tries to get her to wake up using everything from smelling salts to _smelly_ socks*_ Eheheeee ... _*mumbles*_ Scary people ... 

**Mariki**** :** _*leg gets gnawed on ; shakes leg with Mariki still attached*_ Arigatou , I appreciate that . And yes , the BradxKen Vice Versa SchuxKen Vice versa will continue !!! Just please support it ! (You guys have indulged me on this ! ^_____^) _*big BIG BIG grin*_

**Dark Demigoddess :** Hello there ! I don't think I've ever seen you around before ! _*runs away to hunts for napkins and returns with a box in the mouth wagging tail*_ 3:00 a.m. ? I'm very much flattered nyah that you stayed up late to read my fic !  R_M's very honored nyah ! . Well , you can try kiss him ; but I'm not sure a disfigured _dead_ and _bloody_ Aya is much to look at . O___O;;; _*major sweatdrops*_

**Ketty**** :** Arigatou ! Please do keep reading and reviewing . ^_____^

**Isil**** :** Yes , I've heard more than several times now . _*sweatdrops*_ And no , I don't want to die ! Schu has already promised me immunity from *her* death threats .

**Whisper Reilman :** _*ponders mumbling to self*_ Maybe I'm turning predictable ... hmmmm ... Arigatou ! I can't believe that I actually have a FAN !!! _*runs around screaming ecstatically and hides under Ken's bedcovers*_ Kenken , nyaaaa !!!! _*finds Whisper Reilman hiding there too*_ HYYYYYAAAAA !!! _*scandalized stare*_

**Zeto**** :** Saaa ! Cyber Pocky ! _*glomps Zeto*_

**Mistress of Drakness1 :** Waaaaaiiii ! Arigatou ! Arigatou ! Arigatou !!!!! ^____~

**Ran Mouri :** IYYYYYAAAA ! _*runs away from ax , screaming*_

**Misura**** :** A-anou ... Don't cry ! _*patspats*_ Ah , saa . I thought they would come out tacky but I guess they worked out fine didn't they ? ^___^

**Anna Hibiki :** à O____O;; (didn't really understand anything about Kurt Cobain-sama) Ah , I thinking about that RIGHT NOW ! ^___~ _*winkies*_

**Manx16 :** I had to try ! Y____Y  _*shrinks at all the loud shouts and verbal attacks*_ Aiyah ! T____T ... eh ? O___O;;;             .   Waiiii !!!!! 

**Schu-chan :** ooooh ... yet another one . _*patspats*_ Cheer up !!! You said so yourself , Aya's only dead in this fic , ne ? _*gringrin*_


	23. A new sunrise

**Redemption_Moon**** :** Yes , yes , I'm late for this week's update . And it's a bit short too . O__O;; But I'm sure many will be glad with this week's post ne ? ^___~

This chapter is dedicated to **Dark Demigoddess** for typing a review for me even with a sprained wrist !! ^__^ 

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It was another day . He could feel it in his bones .

He dreamt of Ken last night ; he dreamt that they were having dinner at his flat , with only soft music keeping them company and candle lights flickering and the rain drumming softly outside . 

It was different from before , because now , even in his dreams , he knew Ken could never be awake . Ken was asleep ; imprisoned in a deep slumber ... maybe there wasn't even a hope of him ever waking up again ... 

He heard the faint chirps of birds from outside the window and the wind whispering gently through the empty branches . Again , he had fallen asleep with his head on Ken's bed and his hand clasping Ken's tightly as if he couldn't bear to let go in the night . 

He let go of Ken's hand " Guten morgen , liebe ." He murmured softly with a fond smile as he raised his aching head .

He felt stiff and his limbs seemed to creak with every damned move . Blinking sleep away , he stood up and shook his head to clear away the fog . 

Yohji must have gone home the night before when he fell asleep . 

Hell , he owed the bastard a lot . He should get him something expensive for his birthday – the damned bastard like expensive stuff . 

He yawned and raked his hand through his hair ; and frowned in dismay to know that they were in tight stubborn knots which refused to give way . " Tch ..."

He felt a shitload better than he did last night ; and he wondered what the hell Yohji gave him to drink before he crashed . He rotated his head , getting the kinks out of his neck with every painful crack .

Maybe he'd have time to go get a cup of coffee and drive home to his flat for a shower and some breakfast . Damn , he was hungry . Then he'd go and talk to Yohji about that doctor ... 

He was acutely aware of the sound of his boots echoing all throughout the small room . Not a sound was to be heard in the outside corridor . 

Was it really that early ? 

He glanced at his watch . " 5 : 30 ." 

The sun wasn't even up yet and here he was , for some inexplicable reason , up and awake ... and he normally wasn't even awake until twelve when he wasn't working . 

He was about to walk away when he saw something that caught his eye . A tiny twitch , a small flicker ; like a candle swaying under a breeze . 

_Was he imagining things ? _

_Or did Ken's pale hand just move for one brief moment ? _

He turned and walked back , a tiny frown bringing his eyebrows together ; his heart thudding with fearful anticipation . He licked his dry lips as he gazed without blinking at the unmoving boy before him .

He stood there for several moments , not wavering as he gazed carefully for any sign of movement . There was none . 

Reluctantly , he pulled away . He was probably just tired and he knew he should be sleeping it off instead of going away ; but he wanted to know if Ken had a chance ...

Once more he turned back and walked quickly to the door . He didn't want to have another illusion raising his hopes uselessly . His hand turned the knob and he stepped out into the corridor .

Suddenly , he froze , and his startled jade eyes turned and rested on the brunette lying on the white bed .

There was no more movement , but this time , it was a faint moan , calling his name. " S...chu ...?" 

A huge grin spread on his face and within a second he was towering over Ken's bedside , clutching Ken's hand protectively in his . " How's your sleep , kid ?" He asked , toning down his grin into an feigned amused smirk .

His eyes were still closed , but his ashen lips turned up in a weak smile . " It was fine ... I dreamt of you ." It was the smile that Schuldich had been waiting for . It was that smile that he sacrificed everything for ... and it was that smile that Schuldich would give his life to protect .

" That's good ... Ken ..." He almost choked on his own voice . 

The grey eyes slowly fluttered open , as if butterflies gently alighted for one brief moment before soaring away and he could once more see the foggy orbs . 

He stifle back the itchy feeling at the back of his throat and squeezed Ken's hand . " ... I missed you ."

Ken gave a faint chuckle , as if still testing his voice . " I'm glad ." And he buried his head into Schuldich's chest and was engulfed by his lover's warm embrace .

Outside , the sun was spreading its brilliant golden rays , as if blessing them to a happy life . 

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**Redemption_Moon**** : Lately , I've been getting less and less reviews . Does that mean that people are getting tired of me ? X(  _*bawls*_ **

_*sniffles*_ Anyway , right now , I'm holding a survey . Let's say I go round and write some mushy icky fluffy stuff out of the blue ; what would be the most romantic date Ken and his pair could have ? Who knows , you just might see in _This_ ficcie eh ? 

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**Ketty**** :** I'm glad you are ! Please keep on reading and reviewing ! It's more fun that way ! ^___~

**Ariestar48 :** Hmmm , yes . No one fell sick or died in chapter 22 ... maybe I should kill Yohji off ... eh ? _*laughs at expression of Ariestar48's face*_ I was just kidding , kidding , kidding . ^__^

**Schu-chan :** Yes , it is , isn't it ? I'm happy too ! ^___^

**Manx16 :** Actually , I'm not getting it up quickly . I post once in a week , and it's either I'm late or on time . But I've never posted twice in one week (unless I find a reason to celebrate by posting two chapters in a week) And no , I won't rush the chapters to make the 25 mark . I only wanted it to end at twenty-five , but since there is no apparent way to do that , I just have to march on without looking back . Don't worry , I won't compromise the story for the limit I was aiming for ; for my readers' sake and for mine . ^___^ I'm glad we're friends again , for a moment there , you scared me O___O;;

**Mariki**** :** _*Leg is notably getting shorter with gnawing*_ Ahhhh NOOOOO ! _*runs away at the threat of not reviewing*_ Ah , you mean Cry of the Captive ? Yes , I was thinking of reviving that one too , although it wasn't too warmly received . I still like it though , (probably because I have a fascination for the WWII era) so there's probably a chance of me continuing it some time or another . (I already have half an update written out) _*grabs whip and chews on it*_

**Chahiya**** :** _*patspats*_ Yes , _*ponders*_ he IS in remission , isn't he ? _*stares at muse*_ It's probably because he had a day off last week (I was sleeping in class for a whole day and was totally counterproductive) ^___^

**KyraEnsui**** :** Yohji is a great guy here , ne ? ^__^ But of course , Ken and Schu are better ! 

**Ran Mouri :** My God ! The threats I've been getting are starting to be threatening ! (O__O does that make any sense to you guys at all ?) I've seen axes and swords and e-mail guns brandished at me as well as threats of taking away _my_ Kenken and other horrible stuff ! Ooooh ! The horror , the horror !!! 

**Zeto**** :** Yes , they are ! ^___^ _*sighs in relief*_ Oh , goodie . Now I have an ally ! ^___^ 

**Dark Demigoddess :** O.O;; Ah , anou ... Be happy first , Ken is AWAAAAAKKKKEEE ! kekeke ... Oh , what happened to your wrist ? I greatly value this review then, for you sacrificed the pain just to type a review for me. Waaaaah ! Arigatou !!! _*glomps you*_ Here then , I updated ! And this chapter is dedicated to none other than you ! 

**Misura**** :** Yes , actually I did notice . O__O;; People are getting so paranoid these days . Am I really THAT sadistic eh ? See ? Things are getting better ! Ken is awake and he and Schu are back together again , what more could a crazy fangirl ask for ?


	24. Blueviolet Gentians

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Ever since the day he woke up , Ken seemed to be getting stronger and stronger . 

He'd been sleeping well lately and looked as if his body was filling up . The gaunt and haunted mood had gone , replaced with something almost akin to happiness . All his movements were filled with energy and happiness , as if he was celebrating the fact that he had returned to the living world and that he had chosen to ignore the downside of celebrating it in a hospital and just pretended that it was a hotel room... an antiseptic-smelling hotel room . With everything in white . And nurses checking up on you ever half hour .

His face lit up in a warm smile the moment he saw Schuldich ; and for a long second , the weeks of weariness , the long hours , the sickness , the endless driving back and forth the apartment and the hospital ... all flew past him and disappear into another unheard-of place leaving him with his beautiful angel .  

Ken was seated against a tower of pillows , eating breakfast consisting of fruits and oatmeal . " You don't look so good , Schu . Are you sure you're alright ?" His face creased with concern . 

Schuldich had bought a breakfast of hotdogs and eggs from the deli across the street but the Amazon nurse that was taking care of Ken glared so vehemently at him that he had to leave it outside and promise not to feed Ken those 'preservative junk'

Schuldich offered a tight-lipped smile . The truth was , he still had that bad migraine from a few days ago ; but he couldn't let Ken know about that . " Yeah , just tired , that's all ." He wiped sleep off his eyes with the back of his hand . 

" I wonder why Aya still hasn't come along . It's been five days and I haven't seen him yet ." Ken murmured , spooning some more suspicious mush into his mouth . 

The color drained from Schuldich's face . He couldn't tell Ken yet . Ken shouldn't know yet ... Not now . 

He glanced briefly at Ken , relieved that the brunette hadn't noticed his sudden distress .

His voice sounded strange – strained – even to his own ears ." He probably is just a little busy . He told me that he was working overtime because the bar was short on manpower ." He almost chocked on the black lie that he had spit out . Ken deserved to know but then ... 

" He actually talked to you ?" Ken's eyes widened Schuldich's words like a child who had just been given his most sought-after toy for his birthday . The spoon landed on the goo with a muffled _thump_ . 

Schuldich chuckled and ruffled Ken's hair affectionately . " Yeah ; we've been getting along quite well when you went and took your beauty sleep ." 

Ken grinned . " I can't believe it . I can't wait to see him !" The breakfast tray teetered dangerously on his lap . 

Schuldich's eyes shifted but he kept his smile . " Yeah ; you probably won't see him for a week or two ; but I promised him that I'll take good care of you ." 

" You've been doing that already ." Ken teased , pretending to load a spoonful of mush on a makeshift catapult created with his breakfast utensils . 

Schuldich rubbed his temples gently , desperately willing away the evil headache that was threatening to smatter his brains onto the pristine floor . He fought the urge to bash his head against the wall more for Ken's sake than for his . "Yeah ... hey ... I have to go somewhere . I'll be back in an hour or two so don't try to sneak away alright ?" Schuldich stood up just as a nurse entered the room with Ken's medicine . 

It was one of the nurses who'd been trying to flirt with him for the past few days and she looked like she was game for another one of their verbal sparring matches that she seemed to enjoy thoroughly though it can't exactly be said for Schuldich . 

Glancing once at the buxom blonde , Schuldich bent over Ken and kissed him fully on the lips , his tongue darting for a quick taste before giving him a chaste kiss on the forehead . " See you later , kiddo ." He said with a smirk , almost laughing at the scandalized expression on the woman's face as he passed her by . As an afterthought , he flicked his long glossy hair backwards with flourish . 

He closed the door at the two blushing occupants of the room and looked grimly on ahead . The charade was finished . He had to take off that mask now . 

Schuldich walked briskly , staring harshly forward . He still had to arrange Hidaka Aya's funeral . 

                                                                     † † †

He was getting tired now and he had just woken up . After Schuldich had left , the nurse administered the usual medicines . Perhaps it was the medication . He didn't exactly know . He'd been taking a lot of them lately ever since he had refused chemotherapy . 

He fiddled with the spoon idly . He hated this , he hated being in that position and that sad situation – but there wasn't really anything he could do . God hated him so much that He was torturing him with this kind of damned life . 

" Chemotherapy ..." 

Schuldich really had been insisting that he undergo chemotherapy and that he was willing to pay for all the expenses ... but ... the truth of the matter was , Ken was afraid . 

Schuldich said that he loved him . But he always said that Ken was beautiful . He knew what chemotherapy was like . He knew all the side effects .

He knew it was going to painful ; but that wasn't what scared him the most . If he agreed to have chemotherapy , he knew his body would react terribly to the radiation and everything that Schuldich said was beautiful – all of it would be gone , and perhaps , Schuldich would be gone along with them . 

Ken didn't want to take the risk . He'd rather die first than have Schuldich or Aya leave him to be alone . He didn't want to be alone . 

God , he didn't want to be alone . 

He stared at the bowl of oatmeal in front of him and grimaced . He'd only been eating the damn thing because Schuldich was around . 

He felt a wave of irritation as he gazed through the window and watched the clouds roll by . He longed to be outside . He longed to play soccer again . He longed to be finally out of that goddamned hospital ... but most of all , he wanted to sleep in Schuldich's arms once more . 

" Why is Schuldich so nice to me ?" He sighed , his thin shoulders heaving . 

" Because he loves you , that's why ." 

He glanced up just in time to see Yohji leaning against the doorframe , grinning widely . " It's nice to see you again , Ken . I'm glad to hear that you're doing fine lately ." 

" Yohji !" 

" Glad to see me aren't you ?" Yohji uncrossed his arms and crossed the room . " Anyway , I was hoping to find Schuldich here but since he isn't , I guess I'll have to be the one to tell you the good news ... I've found a great doctor who's willing to operate on you . I could've told Schuldich a loooong time ago , but the bastard was being an idiot and kept on zoning out on me so here I am , telling _you_ instead ." 

Ken offered a feeble smile . He couldn't believe that Yohji was going to so much trouble to help him . " Thanks ..." If the doctor was really that good ... is there a chance that he could be saved ? But no , he shouldn't get his hopes raised . He was only going to be disappointed in the end . His shoulders slumped . Hope was just a temporary luxury that he couldn't afford right now .

" Thanks , really ; Yohji . I bet Schuldich and Aya would be glad to find out too ." 

At the mention of the older brother's name , Yohji forced a grin and gave Ken a friendly pat on the head . " Well , I better be going , Ken . Tell the idiot the good news ." 

Ken nodded cheerfully . " I will . Thanks again ."

                                                                † † †

Schuldich walked out of the bar and opened the door to his car . 

He'd just talked with Aya's boss who had promised to come to the funeral . He told her that Ken was in the hospital after she'd asked and she seemed genuinely sympathetic even though she seemed impersonal at first . 

So far , she was the only one that he knew who was vaguely even close to Aya . 

_Did the guy even have any friends ?_

At that , he smiled wryly to himself . It wasn't as if he was Mister Congeniality himself . 

He took a slip of paper and read the address written on it . 

_A flowershop huh ?_

Somehow he couldn't imagine Aya working at a flowershop . But then again , there were many things he didn't know about the guy ; and as far as Schuldich could remember , they only had one thing in common – Ken . 

Thoughtfully , he drove across town and picked his way to traffic , just trying to get over the rush . Bar downtown and flowershop uptown . 

It seemed like Aya was hell bent on exhausting his ass off and that his life totally revolved around Ken . He couldn't really blame him ; he realized that it was happening to him too , and it didn't bother him one bit , because he knew that Ken was the universe to him and he wasn't just about to let anything bad happen to him .

" Koneko no Sumu ie ." He murmured . The name amused him . It certainly didn't look like the kind of place Aya would work . It certainly was cheery enough to drive him away at first sight . 

His lips twitched as he imagined the redhead in an apron offering bouquets to lovely customers . 

The door bell tinkled as he pushed the door open and he was greeted by two pairs of large blue eyes . 

" Good morning ! What could we do for you today ?" A blond teenager was quickly at his side , smiling like there was no tomorrow ." 

" Did Aya Hidaka work here ?" 

The boy looked startled at his question . " Why , yes . As a matter of fact he does . But he's not in right now . I heard Ken-kun – that's his younger brother – was in the hospital so he asked for several days off . He'll be back indefinitely so I can't really tell you when he'd be here ." 

" I know that ." 

" Huh ?" The brown-haired teenager took a step forward and looked at him inquiringly . 

" I'm sorry to let you know about this , but – well could you come to his funeral ?" 

" What ?" The two boys were taken aback by the sudden question and they looked at him with unveiled horror .

" He died in a car accident the day before yesterday and I thought it would be best if we buried him as soon as possible . Ken's still in the hospital and wouldn't be able to come . I just thought he'd appreciate it if Aya's friends were there to bid him goodbye ."

" Oh my God ." The blond boy breathed , his blue eyes wide in shock . Instinctively , he reached for the brunette's hand and they gripped each other with an intensity that almost made Schuldich smile . 

Now here was a picture perfect couple if he didn't mind saying .

" It's going to be at the Golden Ridge Memorial Plaza tomorrow morning , around 9:00 . You'd come ?" 

" Oh, yes ." Both boys nodded earnestly . " Aya was really nice to us ." 

" Thanks ." Schuldich turned and started to walk away , but his eye was caught by a large bucket of violet-blue gentians shining in the bright sunlight . Just then , an image of Ken flashed before his eyes . " How much would the whole thing cost ?" He asked suddenly . It just occurred to him that he had never given Ken flowers before , save for the time he was first in the hospital a long long time ago . It was just less than a month and they'd be celebrating a year of knowing each other . 

" 1000 ." The brunette said , looking at him quizzically . 

" But I think we can bring the price down to 900 , I know Momoe-san would understand ..." 

" No , I'll take all of it for the original price . Thanks for the offer anyway ." 

" Alright ."

" I'm sorry , I didn't introduce myself . My name's Schwarz . Schuldich Schwarz . I'm a friend of Ken's ." 

A pair of bright smiles shone at him . " We've heard so much about you ! You're a great photographer ! I'm Tsukiyono Omi and he's Naoe Nagi . We're glad to finally meet you ." 

" Yeah , the feeling is mutual ." He glanced at his watch . 10:00 . He had to talk to the funeral manager (*) to go over the last details by 10:30 . 

" You don't have to wrap it all up . I'll take a bouquet and I'll come back for the rest tomorrow ."

" No problem ." 

" Thanks ." Schuldich took the bouquet as he headed for the door . He'd give it to Ken after he talked to the manager . (*)

" Tell Ken we'd stop by later ." The brunette called out after him . 

Schuldich gave a little wave as he entered the car and gently placed the flowers on the passenger seat behind him . " I will . He'd like that ." 

" Take care , Mr. Schwarz !" 

                                                                         † † †

It was 5:30 and still Schuldich wasn't back . Ken felt a prick of worry . 

Maybe something happened to him . Maybe he got into an accident like Aya did . Maybe he was lying half-dead in a hospital somewhere . 

" Hello there Ken-kun ! We've come to cheer you up !" The Ken was startled to snap out of his panicked reverie to see Omi Tsukiyono's face grinning down at him . Nagi was , as usual , standing at his side with an identical grin lighting up his solemn-looking features . " And we bought you flowers too !" A bouquet of multicolored flowers was shoved in front of his face . 

" Th-thanks ." 

" I'm sorry we didn't come by sooner . We thought that you probably didn't want us around with Aya glaring daggers at everyone ... but ... now that ..." Omi's voice cracked . " We're really sorry , Ken-kun . Aya was really a nice person . He cared for you a lot ." Omi was wiping tears with the edge of his sleeve and Nagi patted him on the back even as the boy patted Ken's knee with an almost paternal air . The smiled were gone and were replaced by expression of utter chagrin .

The hairs on Ken's arm stood on end as he fought to keep his voice in check . " Wh – what do you mean ?" His eyes were sharp , his fingers curling like claws as he gripped the edges of his bed so hard that the two boys were afraid that the aluminum pipes would snap into two and he'd pull the tubes out of his arm . 

" We - were so - sad to find out that – A-Aya died in a car a-accident . He was so kind to us ... and he really cared so much about you ... " Omi threw his arms around him as he cried , his body racked with sincere sobs . 

He didn't know how long he'd been crying against Ken's shoulder and how long Ken has sat there silently . He and Nagi had really looked up to Aya and had respected and regarded him as a friend . Aya didn't really speak much , but when he did , he'd say kind things veiled in his gruff and cold manner . It meant a lot to them , and now , he was gone . 

Poor Ken . Losing such a great brother like that . 

Even Nagi had turned his back and was crying to himself softly . 

Nagi had cared about Aya too . 

He sat back , his tears now held in check . " I'm sorry for going at you like that . It just hit me that Aya wasn't going to come back and I was really sad for you too ." He smiled as he wiped away his cheek with his sleeve and he raised his head to look at Ken . 

Ken wasn't listening anymore .

He was sitting up on his bed rigidly , his grey eyes wide open , sightless ; silent tears trailing gently down his pale cheeks .

" Ken-kun ?" Omi grabbed his hand . It was icy cold .

" Oh my God ! Call a doctor ! Quick !" Nagi rushed out of the room in a mere moment . 

Gently , he tried to puss Ken back on the bed and to rouse him , but it was no use . Ken wasn't going to snap out of it . Blood rose to his face in panic . 

Where was Nagi ?! 

_OhGodohGodohGod__ !_

Tremors were now running up his arms . Before Omi knew what was happening , Ken was convulsing uncontrollably on the creaking white bed , an animal shriek issuing from his bloodless lips .

                                                       **   † † †**

*******Redemption_Moon :****** A**dvanced **M**erry **C**hristmas **E**veryone ! I'm soooo soooo sorry for the late post ! I knew you'd be screaming at me for not posting a chapter up for two consecutive weeks but I was reaaaaaallllllyyyyyy and I mean REALLY  busy – (not to mention the fact that I was stumped as to how I was going to carry on the story) Annnnnnnyyyywaaaaaayyyyy ... I could see the murderous glares again and I'm taking time out to assure you that you're going to be happy with my Christmas wuff/fluff edition . I'm going to work my ass off for the next few days and try to post chappies daily or at least once every two days till Christmas , after all , it's just five more days to go before the happy happy day ! Can you believe it ?! FIVE DAYS !!! So check FF.net every day to see if I have a chapter up ! Don't forget to read and review okay ?! _*jumps up and down excitedly*_ This thing's going to end by New year's , I'm almost certain of it ! ^_____^ READ AND REVIEW onegai ?! That'll be your Christmas gift to me ! Pweeety Pweeeease ? ****

**                                                                                      † † †**

**Mariki**** :** Now here I am again . _*stares down at her legs ... or at least , where they were once upon a time before you came into my life and chewed them up .*_ V_V;; My goodness ! Can't a live with my legs a few years more ? I promise , the day I die I was going to put it in my will to let you have them – but nooooooo ! You couldn't wait , could ya ? You had to come right in and chew them off didn't ya ? O__O;; Anyway , I can't believe this is taking things for the worse . I promised myself that everything was going to be peachy on my Christmas post . _*crouches with several of her muses to figure out how to do it by Christmas .*_

**Schu :** Now that I think about it ... yeah , you didn't . But don't worry , it's not your fault . I'm glad to know that you at least tried . I'm sorry , you gladness was so short-lived . But don't worry , as I've said before and am trying to assure everyone , the Christmas chapter's going to be really really happy . Now he's found out . The power of the will . You've willed him to find out !!!! _*points finger at Schu*_ It's your fault ! Nah , I was just kidding . It was coming anyway . ^__^

**KyraEnsui**** :** _*hands you **another** box of Kleenex . I figured you might need this . _*patspats*_

**Chahiya**** : **I'm betting you don't feel pleased at me right now . Not at all . Like no la-di-da for me today , huh ? Y__Y . I can just hear you now saying that I'm the next worst thing to liver salad . _*worried*_ Is it still starting to bore you ? Ummm ... are you still inclined to share your strawberry and chocolate pocky ? No ? I thought not . --___--  Anyway , just wait for the Christmas edition and check up on me ne ? 

**Ariestar48 :** Oh God . I know you're not happy with me right now , after asking me to make the next chapter (this one) happy . _*muses*_ it was happy at the start wasn't it ? With Ken and Schuldich waking up to each other and Schuldich giving Ken that yummy _*stares away dreamily*_ kiss and blowing their relationship out in the whole wide open world . 

**Lady Kickass :** Thank you for sating that . And yes , I do agree with you on that . Schu would be such a perfect boyfriend to have – although I must say that even then I still wouldn't choose him over by lovely hunny , Ken .

**Misura**** :** Thanks ! ^__^ I guess he didn't have to ask . Fat just had to come in and find a way for him to find out . Oh yes , the bad news has been heard and the worst has passed ... or ... uh ... has yet to pass but it will . Is that any assurance for you ? 

**Ketty**** :** I will , if you promise to keep on RnR'ing !  ^___~ _*winkies*_ You just know how I love to do that ! 

**Brizey**** :** I'm glad to hear about that . I'll work hard to keep it that way ! ^_____^ I hope  you're not too busy to read this and post a little note in the end . _*kitty eyes*_

**Schu-chan :** I know what you mean . I'm so glad Christmas break started ! I could almost jumped for insane joy . And to the last moment , we still had to pass a couple or three projects . _*mutters*_ Damn slavedrivers ... 

**Zeto**** :** _*yells along with you*_ He's aLLiivvvvvveeee ! He's ALLLLLLLIIIIIIIVVVVEEEE !

Oooops . I meant awake too ! He's AWWWWAKKKKE AWAAAAKKKKEE ! I'm afraid the gentians didn't signal too much happiness right now . 

**Kasugai**** Gummy :** Godawful mush ... I like that . Godawful mush ... Hehehehe . Kekekeke ... Bwahahahaha ! _*evil insane laughter*_

Kasugai : There she goes again ¬___¬ It'll be wonder if she hasn't gone mad by Christmas .

Redemption : Bwahahahahahahahaha !!!  XÐ

**Manx16 :** Yes , there is timing for my chapters , although I can't say I've been doing good lately considering I neglected two posts . _*sighs*_ Anyway , it might just prove to be true this as I've promised to post frequently within the week . I just hope to survive your threats till the next good thing comes ne ? Anyway , it's probably true and your computer is a review assassin from Takatori – oops , I mean your parents .  Hey , don't get me wrong . I love my parents . It's just sometimes the nagging about the computer gets to me . Heh . Oooooh ! You're the first one to ever say that !!! ^____^ I'm really happy you did . I thought everyone was going to think that the title sucks but now I know better ! Arigatou ! ^___^


	25. An empty room

Schuldich knew that something was wrong the moment that he stepped into the elevator . 

At first it was just a nagging sensation , the kind you get when you suddenly remember that you had kept the water running or had forgotten to turn off the lights in the kitchen , but slowly , the feeling grew larger and more formidable ; like a recurring nightmare snapping at your heels . 

He gripped the bouquet tightly , crushing the plastic wrapper in his hands . 

He'd bought the flowers earlier from the Koneko no Sumu Ie , the flowershop where Aya used to work and he still hadn't been able to return to Ken to give it to him . 

It had taken him several hours to smoothen out the details of Aya's funeral which was going to happen the next day , especially since it was such in such short notice . The truth of the matter was , he wanted Aya's funeral as soon as possible so that Ken wouldn't find out that Aya had died . Not yet . 

He watched the glowing digits of the elevator crawl slowly one into another and he heard the _ting!_ As the door opened , he felt something almost akin to relief . He was finally back ! 

_I'm almost there ... _

He couldn't help but keep the smile of anticipation on his face .

Those several hours that he was gone from Ken's side was enough to keep his nerves frayed in worry . After all , anything could happen in a few hours and he wanted to be by Ken's side all the time if that was even possible . 

His brows knotted in apprehension when he caught sight of the two boys . Omi and Nagi , they said their names were . They were sitting next to each other on a bench , looking like they had been through hell . 

He strode to them , and towered over just long enough for them to look up . " You've seen Ken ?" He asked , gesturing with his occupied hand to the room that Ken was in . 

The moment Omi saw him , he burst into tears and buried his face into his friend's chest . " He's not there anymore ." Nagi said quietly , almost solemnly . 

" What ?!" The throbbing came back again , he could almost feel his hands shaking at the unbroken news . 

" I'm sorry . We didn't mean to ! It's just ... Oh God ! I can't believe he's ... Ken's ..." Omi sobbed , his big blue eyes filled with so much sadness and regret . 

Schuldich's heart jumped to his mouth . 

_It can't be ! _

_Ken can't be ... ! _

" Ken !" 

The bouquet of blue-violet gentians fell from his unfeeling fingers and were viciously mutilated by his boots . He ran to the door of Ken's hospital room and threw it violently open , almost tearing it off its hinges  . 

His eyes fell on the bed . 

It was empty . 

                                                            † † †

**Sidestory**** ... sort-of ...**

****REDEMPTION_MOON :** Can it be that ... that Kenken's dead ?!!! _*bursts into tears*_ Noooooooooo !!!! He can't die ! Oh God no ! _*crumples down onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably .*_ **

Ken : _*kicks her*_ Baka . You're the one who's controlling the story . 

Schuldich : ¬_____¬ If I didn't know any better , I'd say she's enjoying this .

Ken : I agree . She's torturing the readers as well as you and me . 

Schuldich : I think she deserves to be punished , don't you ? 

Ken : She does . And it's so damn near Christmas too .

Schuldich : _*stares at RM who's giving them puppy eyes*_ Mein Gott . She really takes the cake . One of the weirdest I've seen around .

Ken : But you have to admit , she does look cute with those big green eyes , they're almost like yours , almost as green and as dark as yours .

R_M : _*wags tail and bats eyelashes to encourage Ken's train of thought*_

Schuldich : _*indignant*_ They do not ! No one has eyes as beautiful as mine . 

Ken : Touchy . If I didn't know you any better , I'd say you're jealous . _*kneels and pats RM on the headR_M_ : _*wags tail*_

Schuldich : Am not !

Ken : My my , and now you're defensive . _*_ Besides , I like puppies . It reminds me of the time I used to teach kids how to play soccer . You know , most of them are a lot like puppies . So innocent and all . 

Schuldich : _*mutters*_ That one's sure mega-miles from innocent if you ask me _*sighs*_ I can never really win against you , can I ?

Ken : Of course not . _*ponders*_ I like her . I'm going to keep her as a pet .

R_M : _*raises triumphant fist in the air like a boxer who's won a title match*_

Schuldich : Why bother ? She's no good anyway . 

R_M : _*glares at Schuldich*_

Ken : Well , I think she writes acceptable mush . Maybe we could coerce her to write a lemon in the near future .

Schuldich : Interesting . Maybe . _*thinks for a while*_ All right . 

Ken : _*grins*_ Okay , let's go back to your flat and have a nice little romp . 

Schuldich : _*puts an arm around Ken's waist*_ Now that's an idea I rather like . 

Ken : _*picks up puppy-fied R_M*_ Let's go . 

Schuldich : _*pauses*_ The thought just occurred to me , Ken _lieb . How do you feel about orgies ? _

R_M : O___O;;; 

And so , they came back to Schuldich's flat , did a little romping around . 

The next few days , the neighbors kept on complaining about a puppy howling all night long trying to escape from the scary torture chamber where romping was done all night long . 

**THE END**

I know you still hate me , and you probably have a nasty smirk right now daring me to write something more so you could all just queue around and kill me . 

Sorry . 

I couldn't resist ! 

_*runs away laughing to herself*_

BTW . By New Year's this fic will most probably be completed ; but the thing is , there are a few ideas that I won't be able to try to get the ending I want , so when this is through , I just might have the energy to change the succeeding chapters with more angst and drama that I've dreamed up a while ago that I just can't fit in right now . 

Okay , I'm done ! 

_*runs away again*_

Shrink : I'm afraid she's been taken hold by her mad writer syndrome again . Sorry for letting you see that . _*bows and runs after R_M*_


	26. Ten years in ten hours

**R_M :** My goodness ! I didn't know that it was already December 23rd !!!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL HUNNY KENKEN !!!!!!!!!

In honor of Ken's birthday , this is gonna be one of the best chapters I've ever written . (In me humble opinion)

**Music playing : _Call me , call me_ from Cowboy Bebop **

                                                                     † † †

**Date : ****December 19 , 2003**

**Time : ****6:08:01 p.m.**

" Where is he ? Where's Ken ?! Answer me goddamnit !!" Schuldich shook Omi's shoulder with a force that he didn't know existed . 

More tears sprang forth from the agitated blond . " I-I'm sorry , they ... they put him in the intensive care unit ... They ... they said he almost died ..."

" Mein Gott ..."  He couldn't help it . Throwing one last glance at the pair , he ran through the corridors and pressed the elevator button in distress . 

He had to be with Ken . He had to be with Ken . 

Ken ...

His cellphone rang just as the empty elevator popped open ; absently , he opened it , as if he was running on mechanical instincts . "Hello ?" He stepped in , not really noticing anything else . 

" Schuldich ! Finally you answered the goddamned phone ! I've been calling you all day !" Yohji's voice broke through the line .

Schuldich felt like he was drowning when he heard the news , but Yohji's voice served as a lifeline and he grabbed it ; " Yohj ! Ken ! Ken's in a really bad shape now . Could you get the doctor you were talking about ? They said he almost died ..." He knew he was blabbering , it was certainly unlike him to do so , but he couldn't help it , he couldn't swallow the rising panic that was sweeping through his chest like an insane tide .

" Shit ! Yeah , I'll call him right now ; he's off call right now , I just talked to him about an hour ago . You take care of the arrangements and ask for everything he'll need for the surgery . I already found a donor so sit tight , man . Your Ken's going to be alright ." 

" Thanks . I owe you ." 

There was a chuckle at the end of the line . "You sure do . Big time . I'll see you in thirty . Hang on , he's gonna be perfectly fine , I guarantee it ." 

_Ting !_

The doors opened and he could see the nurses' station . The ICU was beside it . He'd passed the ward a hundred times and he never paid much attention to it ; he'd always believed that he'd never have to come there ...

" Ken Hidaka ? Is he there ?" He asked a passing nurse . 

The startled woman looked up at him and nodded blankly . 

" Can I go see him ?"

" I'm afraid that's not possible , sir . He's just been admitted and he's resting . He's in critical condition right now ." 

" But I'm family ." It was true . After Aya died , he was the only family Ken had .

" I'm really sorry , sir . You could talk to the doctor in charge and see if you can fix it with him ." 

It was only after the nurse had left did it occur to him that he hadn't ask the doctor's name . 

" Excuse me . Who's the doctor in charge of Hidaka Ken ?" The nurse at the desk scanned the logbook in front of her and said a name . 

" Thanks ." He strode of purposefully . Ken was going to be alright . He could feel it in his gut . 

                                                              **† † †**

Yohji had arrived just thirty minutes after he had talked to Schuldich , adrenaline racing through his veins . 

Sure , he hadn't been exactly close to the kid , but he had to admit ; he liked the boy Schuldich was so smitten with . Besides , he made the redhead happy and Hidaka Ken was the only one really capable of that . 

He glanced at the doctor beside him , who was looking aloof as hell . 

_You better be as good as they say you are ..._ He thought as he steered his sports car into the receiving area . Without bothering to park it , he and the doctor sprang out of the car and raced into the hospital .

Someone would deal with the car later , as much as he loved the thing , Schuldich and his precious little lover were more important . 

They sprinted to the front desk where the nurse said that everything was ready for a surgery and a team has already been formed . 

Also , all the things he had needed were already there and the donor bank had already done their job . 

It was all in the good doctor's hands now . 

The doctor was already dressed in his scrubs by the time he was finished coordinating with the head nurse and soon they were hurrying through the corridors to the operating room . 

The circuits of the hallways met and the two of them came just in time to reach the rushing team of doctors and nurses wheeling a motionless figure . Schuldich was with them , his gaunt face etched with worry . 

He barely said a word when he caught sight of Yohji and the doctor hurrying beside them . His lips were pursed tight with worry . 

They burst through the preliminary door and were about to enter another one when they were stopped by a nurse . " I'm sorry , but you can't enter this area ." 

" We have to come in !" Yohji argued . Schuldich still hadn't said a single syllable . 

" I'm sorry , but you really can't ..." 

" It's either you let us in or we're gonna break down the goddamned doors ." 

" Sir ! It's really against hospital rules for you to be in there . I would have to call security ." 

Yohji opened his mouth to say some words in protest , but Schuldich rested a hand on his shoulder wordlessly and he closed it . 

Schuldich looked like he had aged ten years since he last saw him just two days ago . 

Yohji relented , his features softening at the anguish that was deeply etched in his friend's face . He now knew how much sacrifice it was for Schuldich not to be there , not to be at Ken's side while he was undergoing probably the most dangerous endeavor ever done to him . " All right . Damnit ... I ain't happy ." He sighed and put an arm around Schuldich , his best friend ; the stubborn , arrogant man that he had grown to love as the brother he'd never had . Once you look at it , they weren't really too different at all . Maybe the reason why he could identify with him was because they were kindred spirits in a way , which was why Schuldich's pain was his pain . 

And right now , Schuldich was in so much anguish that he sensed that the man felt like he was dying and they had done what they could .

It was all in someone else's hands now . 

" You better do you job , Takatori , or I'll hunt you down ." Yohji muttered as he towered over Schuldich , who had buried his face into his hands . 

                                                                    † † †

**Music Playing :** _Blue_ from Cowboy Bebop (Yoko Kanno)

**Time : ****6:10:08 p.m.**

The surgery began almost as soon as they entered the O.R. 

Dr. Shuuichi Takatori was the best in his field , he'd already been world-renowned for his several 'miracles' because his was the highest survival rate among his advanced chronic leukemia patients ; most of whom recovered fully and were able to lead normal and healthy lives . 

He'd already been on the cover of Time Magazine and was featured several times on the most popular magazines covering his 'miracle works' . He'd already been interviewed by Oprah twice, a feat that was not often claimed by Asians .

The interns and even the doctors on this team were awed simply by the recognition of him and they moved with an efficiency of a trained surgical team that he approved of . 

He pulled on his surgical gloves as a nurse tied his mask . _Mr. Kudoh certainly took care that the best was supplied ._ He mused .

Certainly , he was the best and the team right now was one of the best in the country . 

He looked grimly at the young face plastered with so much pain before him . He'd been studying Hidaka Ken's case for several days now , ever since Kudoh contacted him and he'd finally decided on a plan of action to use . 

He certainly hadn't expected to perform on him so soon , but circumstances called for it and he wasn't just about to refuse .

The boy was so young ... so young ... and so innocent ... 

He didn't deserve this ! No one deserved this ! 

The thought of his teenaged son flashed before his eyes . 

The young son who had died of the same illness several years before ... 

He gritted his teeth and tried to lose himself as the music (*) of Beethoven's Symphony No. 6 In F Major, 'Pastorale' Scene (**) started to play .

He wasn't going to lose this boy too . There was no way he was going to let his son die again . 

" Scalpel ." He called out . 

The operation which was going to last for more than ten hours had now begun while Schuldich prayed for Ken's life in the room outside . 

                                                      † † †

**Date : ****December 20 , 2003**

**Time : ****4:03:42 a.m.**

They were almost through , they only needed to stitch him up and the surgery was going to be a fantastic success . 

Shuuichi Takatori wiped the cold sweat from his brow with his sleeve . He could almost feel his heart leaping for joy . 

_He'd saved his son ! Oh God ! He was finally able to save his son !_

He could barely keep the grin from spreading as he pulled the last stitch close and the large wound gaping at him was finally sealed . 

The room erupted into cheers as they viewed that all the vital signs were going perfectly ...

He started to pull the blood-stained surgical gloves from his hands – and stopped . 

A tiny sound tore the ecstatic shouts from their lips . 

The heart monitor had started to beep faster , a little louder and in distress . (***)

" Sir , he's going into shock again . His heartbeat's accelerating ." One of the doctors called out .

" He's going into shock . His heart's still speeding up ." The measured voices of the other doctors echoed in his mind as he calculated what he should do in this situation . His mind raced , and his pulse sped in fear . 

† † †

**Time : ****4:04:57 a.m.**

" His heart's stopped !" The almost panicked voice of the head nurse called out . 

" Reopen the wound , I'm going to massage his heart ." He said grimly , pulling the gloves back . His eyes steely , his breathing deliberate , he ignored the pouring blood and massaged the delicate muscle carefully ; running his thumb over the Atria and the Ventricles . 

No response .

† † †

**Time : ****4:12:05 a.m.******

" It's no use ." He muttered , half to himself and half to the intent surgical team crowding around him . " I have to sew him back up and try the defibrillators ."

† † †

**Time : ****4:21:36 a.m.******

His breath came in short , rugged gasps as he pulled the last stitch close for the second time . It was like de ja vu but now , Hidaka Ken was clinically dead for seventeen minutes . Ten minutes more after the start of organ damage due to lack of circulated oxygen . 

Was there even a chance that he'd be revived ? The chances were bleak , and the hope was almost extinguished .

Even if they revived him , there was a 99.9 %  chance of him suffering serious brain damage . 

The triumph he had felt just mere minutes before had turned into severe anguish . 

" Defibrillator . Charge to 90 joules ." He could heat the harsh keening sound as the machine charge the paddles . 

Seconds dragged by into thousands of eternities as one precious life waited to be saved . 

" Clear ." He pressed the paddles on the bloody chest and the boy's frail body jolted for a moment into the air several inches above the operating table .

All eyes turned to the monitor . 

Still a flat line .

† † †

**Time : ****4:22****:023 a.m.**

Takatori bit the inside of his lip until he could taste the coppery tang of blood . " Charge to 200 joules ." It was the second attempt . They could not try beyond a third . 

" Clear ." Ken's body once again had a life of its own , but the face remained devoid of any expression still . 

The monitor once more declared a flat line . The ticking of the large clock on the wall grew louder with each passing second . 

† † †

**Time : ****4:24:06 a.m.******

This was their last chance . It was the last chance for Ken .

Was there any hope ? 

" Charge to 360 Joules ." 360 Joules was the maximum for electric shock . It was the end of the line . 

He waited for the machine to charge , a litany of prayers chanting steadily through his head . 

_You have to live , Ken Hidaka . There are people waiting for you . Come back , don't forget that you are loved ._ He murmured silently . 

It was something that he had never gotten around to say to his son before he died , to tell him that he was loved ... 

_Come back , Ken !_ It was an internal scream ; and he was the only one in the room who could hear it deafeningly in his ears . 

Outside , Schuldich bloodless lips were moving silently to his thousandth Hail Mary . 

† † †

**Time : ****4:24:54 a.m.******

For the last time , he placed the paddles on Ken's chest and felt the tiny shudder from the machine as it discharged an electric shock . 

Ken seemed to tremble before he once more lay on his back , lifeless ... 

He was dead .

He was really dead .

Shuuichi Takatori , for the first time in years since his son died , shed anguished tears . 

He had not been able to save him .

† † † 

" Hail Mary , full of grace ..." 

Yohji turned , bleary-eyed at his pale friend , who had stopped in mid-prayer .   
" Schul ?" He queried softly .

All at once , silent tears were streaming down the redhead's deep jade eyes like a sanctified rivulet and he could not fathom the reason why .

† † †

**Time : ****4:25:00 a.m.******

_'Beep ... beep ... beep ... beep ... beep '_

Could it be ? 

Shuuichi Takatori raised his hazy eyes to the body in front of him . He could hear the faint beeping of the monitor .

Was it true ? Or was it his imagination ? 

Silently , he gazed at the monitor , just as all eyes turned to it as well . 

There were small peaks marring the flat line . 

_'Beep ... beep ... beep ... beep ... beep '_

Ken Hidaka was alive !

The room erupted into soft and relieved giggles and laughter . A subdued celebration from the first , but a more joyous one than any of them had ever felt before in their entire lives . 

Dr. Shuuichi Takatori had performed his greatest miracle yet !!

" Thank you , Lord ." He murmured , raising his eyes to heaven as he placed his hand on Ken's chest to feel the faint yet steady beating of his heart . 

† † †

Schuldich had stopped praying so suddenly , so abruptly , that Yohji thought that he had collapsed into fatigued unconsciousness and all at once the redhead jumped uncertainly to his feet with a suddenness that startled the blond . 

Yohji merely watched in muted stupefaction as his friend raced through the double doors of the O.R. leaving them swinging at his wake as he disappeared into the room (+). 

He hadn't even had the chance to call out his name in an attempt to stop him . 

† † †

He could hear the quiet laughter , he could feel the relieved atmosphere in the air despite the strong scent of coppery blood .

All at once , the doctors parted , as if sensing him standing silently behind them and his eyes rested on bare-chested Ken , looking so pale and lifeless on the operating table , covered with scarlet blood all of which were his own . 

He couldn't restrain his lips from letting loose a happy purring from the back of his throat , nor could he conceal the jumping and the cartwheels his heart was doing .

The doctor merely smiled as they watched him step closer to the man he loved with his entire life and put his arms around his frail body .

He had shared his blood in that moment , and they were one in that second . 

Without knowing who he was and why they weren't even driving him out of the operating room , they knew , with a feeling they could not define , that the reason that Ken Hidaka had fought so hard to survive , was for this man ... and this man alone . 

They were glad that Ken had someone praying for him as he turned back from the gates of death .

A thought crossed in Schuldich's mind and a slow grin spread on his face . He just remembered something .

" Happy birthday , Ken ." 

And it was true . 

Ken Hidaka was given a second chance in life . God was merciful after all . 

                                                                        **† † † ******

**R_M :** Oh my ! I have lots of notes today ! ^___^

Notes : 

(*) Most surgeons put on music while they operate , this is to calm them or perhaps put the in the mood they need to operate . à (I read that somewhere ^__~)

(**)Symphony No. 6 In F Major, 'Pastorale' Scene is one of Beethoven's more soothing works . It is now more commonly used to put babies to sleep . _*lol*_

(***) I have no idea how this thing works ! Honestly , you can't trust me with cough medicine , much less surgery . I know there are gazillions of mistakes here , and adhere to that because I know I am the ultimate medical ignoramus . I have manipulated facts (that I actually know) and procedures here to suit my purpose so forgive me for that . 

(+) I don't even know if that's allowed . Heh . ^__^

**R_M :** Man , am I ecstatic with today's post ! Ooooooh ! I'm so very very very happy !!! ~____~ I think this is the most pulse-pounding chapter I've ever written ! _*dances around for joy*_ Ken's finally fine and happy and healthy and alive and with Schuldich waiting faithfully at his side (wheee that rhymes !) 

I feel like my heart's about to burst with joy !!! 

At this rate , all of you guys just might get your happy ending , so go ahead and goad me more , I just might convince my muses to concede !!! (^___^)

_*runs to check her reviews*_ Hmmm ... just twelve reviews for two chapters . I'm kind disappointed _*facevaults*_ It's okay , maybe I didn't give you guys enough time to review ! Anyway , please do ! please do ! Review every chapter if you can .

Kenken : ¬____¬ She's getting too spoiled , methinks . 

R_M : _*pouts*_ but I _did_ bring you back to life , didn't I ? I think that deserves some pocky and stuff . T____T _*starts to bawl*_

Ken : _*sighs*_ alright , alright . _*sighs again*_ Please review her chapters if you can , I AM alive after all . 

Schuldich : _*mutters*_ Yeah , after nearly giving ME a hear attack . 

R_M : _*ignores him and_ _wags tail and bats eyelashes the way she did to convince Kenken to take her home with them*_ WOOF !!! _*barks in a thoroughly un-rabbit-like manner and commences to wag fluffy bunny tail again*_

The truth of the matter is , I was planning something else for Ken's birthday release , but I was confused with the days . I thought today was just December twenty-two and _tomorrow_ was going to be December twenty-three . So this was planned for yesterday and something else was planned for today _*smacks head*_ How stupid can I get ? Maybe that's the result of celebrating my having a Christmas Break !!!! _*dances around*_

Now on to my replies ! _*marches away carrying a stick and a feather pen*_

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

**Ketty :** Ah , the Machiavellian events have now been unfolded , I hope that you guys are now satisfied with the twist and turn of events .

**KyraEnsui**** :** THREE updates in FOUR days !!! I am sure as hell proud of myself ! ^___^ _*hands you another box of Kleenex*_ You're making that company filthy rich , Kyra . ^___~

**Chahiya**** : **_*wallowed in pride at that*_ Yes , I AM a cruel writer aren't I ? _*is now starting to believe that*_ Are you still on the verge of a temper tantrum ? Work a little more on your begging and raise the stakes on that bribery and you just might corrupt me ! Do it quick or my muses will lapse on their prozac and might refuse your happy ending !!! Undying devotion as a fan , huh ? ^___^ _That_ makes me happy !!! _*skips away with Chahiya*_

**Schu :** O__________O;;; You WILLED him to FIND OUT ?!!!???!!! _*points accusingly at you*_ Hey , minna ! Here is the culprit ! This is why Ken had another arrest and had to undergo surgery and stuff and almost gave Schuldich a heart attack !!! _*throws a stick at Schu*_ Now sic , minna , sic ! _*readers latch on Schu like rabid dogs*_

**Dark Demigoddess :** Oh yes , of course . I know how to appreciate things and people . ^___^ _*patpats you*_ Don't worry about it , it has happened to me before (or rather ... often) Ehhhh ... ¬_____¬;;; which is why I can relate . I'm glad to see you're back in commission again .  Arigatou . Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too ! Wait for my last posts on Christmas day and New Year's eve and/or New Year's Day okay ?! ^_____~

**Mariki**** :** _*guffaws*_ I can just imagine you doing that !!!! It's hilarious !!! And yes , I do love torturing Ken ! Arigatou for the praise !!! _*bows*_

**Zeto**** :** Ooooh , I'm glad you guys actually read and *like* my notes ! ^___^ _*is once more in seventh heaven* _Well , honey , _*shrugs*_ life's not fair , but maybe they're both gonna see more of the sun from now on , eh ? Schuldich ? Get tired of beautiful Kenken ? Not in a million years , methinks . At least not in this ficcy , I guarantee it . Yes , I agree , Kenken can't _always_ be happy , but it's about time he started to be happy , ne ? Arigatou , Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too ! but don't forget to check in on December 25 , December 31 and/or January 1 , ne ? 

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

**KyraEnsui**** : **It was ? Ehehehe ... Neeee , belated happy birthday !!!! _*running-glomp at you !*_ There goes the Kleenex again . My God , Kleenex can buy half the world at the rate you're going ! ^____~ _*starts  to sing*_ HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYRA ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYRA ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY , HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYRA !!! ^_____^ How old are you ?! 

**Zeto**** :** O_______O;;;; _*turns , walks away , grabbing a shovel and stuff*_ Ayaaaa-kunnnn !!!! _*starts to dig Aya's grave , pries the cover from his coffin and hauls Aya's rotting body from six feet under*_ Gwahgwahgwahgwahgwah !!! _*gets bashed with ten-year old fruitcake while revived zombiefied Aya watches calmly on muttering 'Die bitch ! Die !'*_ He's not dead on his birthday !!! He'sNOTHe'sNOTHe'sNOTHe'sNOT!!!! _*starts to throw a temper tantrum herself*_ Nobody appreciates me !! _*pouts before starting to bawl*_

**Mariki**** :** NOooooooOOOOOoooooo !!!!! Don't do thattttttt !!!! _*crawls away writing imaginary circles on the floor in an all too-pouty manner*_ ---à (O____O;;) [Doesn't have legs since you chewed the both away]  Eeeeek ! _*runs away from Mr. Squishy... or rather , slithered squishilly [invented a word] away from Mr. Squishy*_

**Misura**** :** Ah ! Fantastic investigatory skills ! _*applauds you*_ You were touched ? Oh happy day ! _*does another jig , frighteningly like Barney's dance*_ Tension and angst have passed and depends on feedback if it will resume or completely dissipate !!! ^____~ (you know how much I value all my readers' opinions)

**Anna Hibiki :** Ah ,yes , he isn't _*nods resolutely*_ I'm not an Omi fan either ... _*pauses*_ In fact , I don't like the damn brat at all , and his seiyuu too . _*cowers from Omi fans*_ No offense meant . _*patspats Schu*_ I sympathize with you , even though you caused me several sleepless nights . ¬ **. ¬ -à Is referring to previous chapter . I'm sad too . I'm really really sad . T____T . Maybe it doesn't have to end ! I'll keep on rambling and rambling and rambling on without making much sense just to keep it going and it WON'T END ! _*__à__ insert insane laughter*_ I'm not sure of which one I'll continue , most probably the ones that are more in demand , like **Moonbeams in your smile** , which is CxK and SxK or **Cry of the Captive** in which Aya is thrown into the picture , making it rightfully CxK , AxK and SxK . **

Goddamnit , I love this birthday celebrating soccer playing hunny of mine !!! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENKEN !!!!

**^____________________________________________________________________________^**


	27. A merry Christmas , or is it ?

**Music :** _Fly me to the moon_ by Utada Hikaru 

No , I don't own it . I don't know who composed it either . All I know is that she sang it . Don't sue .

**                                                                                † † †**

**Date : ****December 21 , 2003**

Schuldich hadn't slept for four days straight .

He found that the maximum rate that he could go without sleep was 4 days – 96 hours . After that , it's all downhill and he'd crash for two days or more. 

He didn't mind the fatigue and the sleeplessness ; just the knowledge that Ken was going to be alright was enough to keep him running for a thousand more years ... but it looked like he was at the end of his leash . 

The endless weeks he been running around looking for surgeons , for help , arranging Aya's funeral – it spent every single drop of energy in him , and after the rush at finding that Ken was going to be fine , his body seemed to finally be shutting down . 

He sighed and rested his cheek on the pillow beside Ken's head as he watched the snow glisten and twirl outside . 

It was snowing again ... 

It seemed just like it was yesterday , just a yester-New Year's day when he walked outside and saw him alone in that whitewashed park . 

He listened to the rhythmic breathing , the _swish-swoosh_ of Ken's laboured breathing over the faint strains of a song playing on the radio . 

_Fly me to the moon,_

_and__ let me play among the stars._

_Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars._

_In other words, hold my hand!_

_In other words, darling, kiss me._

_Fill my heart with song,_

_and__ let me sing forever more._

_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore._

_In other words, please be true!_

_In other words, I love you!  [***]_

Who knew that that moment would ultimately make his life like this ? 

... a living heaven and a hell at the same time ? 

... existing in a place where you finally have the only one you love and yet you're perpetually afraid that you're going to lose him ? 

Gently , he squeezed the cold hand of that one person and prayed his millionth prayer . 

He'd never been a religious man . In fact , he didn't think that he believed in the concept of a God at all . It seemed like just some sort of religious fairytale that people conjure in order to have something to place the blame on ... that jaded concept of his towards a god changed drastically that moment , that second , when he learned that Ken was alright ... that he was going to live after all ; he felt like he was a changed man , the black sheep that had learned to live in faith like he heard so much about . 

_He's going to be alright ... he's gonna live ..._ Those phrases once more got him restless , anxious to see proof and evidences that this was true . 

A thousand thoughts were racing through his head and only his body was too tired to react to all of them . 

Happy thought , angry thoughts , fond memories , worried ones ... 

Aya was going to be buried today , 10:30 . He wouldn't be able to come ... he felt a twinge of regret , falling short of anger towards himself . Maybe he was an idiot not to tell Ken . Bad news was always harsher from distant lips ... he hadn't been there to comfort Ken when he had needed him . Maybe that's why things happened the way they did . 

Blinking , his tired eyes rested on a single blood-red rose propped against the window's glass. From Yohji perhaps ... or one of the nurses . Ken was a popular patient in the floor , he knew . 

" Did you want him to stay , huh , Aya ?" He murmured softly at the flower innocently framed by the window and by the swirling snow outside . He was half into dreamland and he knew it , but he felt he could just blabber the day away . " Did you help him come back to me ?" His eyelids were fluttering close , he could almost feel himself being gently lulled to sleep by an inaudible lullaby . 

Instinctively his hand clasped Ken's tighter as he let loose a drowsy breath before being gently pulled into a dreamless sleep .

He'd wake up to a more beautiful reality ; he didn't need dreams . Not now , and hopefully , not ever . Because Ken Hidaka was now at his side and that was enough .

... it was enough ... 

_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore._

_In other words, please be true!_

_In other words, I love you! _

                                                               † † †

He didn't exactly know what happened . One moment he was sleeping , seated at Ken's bedside , the next he was being ushered around by a female orderly like sheep to slaughter . 

He glared at her , still half-asleep and bleary-eyed . 

She must learn something . Never EVER wake Schuldich Schwarz if you want to escape with your life intact . 

It turned out that she was tough – and she wasn't afraid of guys like him . He looked her up and down and realized the reason why . She was even beefier and taller than he was ; and that , in his book could just be enough reason .

He sighed and tried to fight his way back to Ken , but she manhandled him well enough to keep him away . He didn't even get the chance to glance back at the brunette whom he knew was sleeping peacefully . 

It seemed like he was being led outside . The reason he knew not why . 

Still grumbling to himself and devising a half-baked plan on how to sneak back in to Ken's room , he was suddenly aware of someone being wheeled beside him .

The wheelchair was creaking ominously as if warning him of something menacing to come .

_Creak ... creak ... creak ..._

He cringed inwardly . He didn't like being around old people on Christmas season , it really gave him the creeps ; they tend to remember the times when they were young and almost always had this far off , half-dead look to them that he found eerie .

Mechanically , he turned his head and his jade eyes widened into a pair of emerald saucers .

Ken was grinning up at him like some sun-dappled cherubim on a walk . " Good morning there , sleepyhead ." 

"Wh-what the hell ?!?" Schuldich sputtered incoherently his mind still foggy enough for it not to register thoroughly . 

Ken gave a complacent grin as the wheelchair slid forward with the aid of a very pretty nurse . And I say very . " You know they had to haul you out of that chair and onto a bed . I said that I'd pay for your stay at the luxury folding bed at the corner of the room but they said it was free just for me ." At that , he offered a thousand-megawatt smile at the nurse pushing his chair .

Schuldich felt a prickle of mad jealousy . 

" They were kind enough to change your clothes and bathe you while you were sleeping . You must've looked like a stinkbomb for them to be desperate enough to strip you naked . " Ken added musingly .

Schuldich flushed a bright red . He wasn't ashamed of his body , he knew he had a perfect physique ... but he did reserve whom he showed it to and he'd have thought Ken would be more possessive towards that . " Wh-what did you say ?" He stammered indignantly .

Ken laughed , his grey eyes twinkling merrily . " And they enjoyed the show too , didn't you , Makoto-chan ?" 

The nurse blushed and nodded shyly , almost reluctantly , skillfully avoiding Schuldich's eyes . 

So maybe that was why he didn't smell like shit now ... but he certainly felt like it though .

" Wait a minute , are you even allowed out of your room ?" He asked , his face creased in worry and concern . " You just had your surgery yesterday ; your wounds aren't healed yet ." 

Ken gave a shout of laughter , reminding Schuldich of the sound of children's merry bantering ; and the nurse stopped pushing his chair too , giggling . 

" What ?" He demanded irritably . 

" That was four days ago , idiot ! You were knocked out so bad like you've been injected with elephant tranquilizers ; you looked like a log so I figured I'd sabotage the hospital and they'd be forced to let me go and pump you with drugs in my place." Ken hid a small childish grin , reminiscent of the days they spent happily together – before he had to stay at the hospital . Before he became sick ... before Aya died . 

Briefly , Schuldich considered the thought that Ken had completely forgotten about Aya's death and banished the idea . He shouldn't be thinking about it himself ; it would only make things worse . Ken would talk when he needed to talk . He was sensible enough for that – even when it came to Aya ... 

A slow grin spread on Schuldich's face as he felt Ken's hand on his arm . 

It was true ! So it wasn't just another dream ! 

" They had to let me go for a few days they said , just in time for Christmas ! Aren't you glad ?" Ken set his mouth in grim determination as he stared at the open entry way that would mean freedom , occasionally replying to enthusiastic bids of farewell from his legion of fans and promising to visit them soon . 

Schuldich face broke into a quiet smile and he himself couldn't wait to finally walk out that door and be held by Ken' for the first time after everything that's happened and have a kiss that would make everybody stammer in shame . 

A few steps more ... just a few steps more ... the air was cold outside , not enough to nip their noses , but just enough to remind him that Christmas ... 

Ken thanked the nurse and waved goodbye , before facing Schuldich , his face alight with a beautiful , beautiful smile . Schuldich grinned back , for a moment speechless as he gazed back lovingly into those wonderful grey eyes . " Welcome back , mein lieb ." 

Ken closed his eyes and without another word allowed himself to be taken into Schuldich's warm embrace . 

It was a long time that they stood there , motionless , like a pair of intertwined statues kissed by the snowflakes ...

No one heard the redhead whisper 'Merry Christmas' to that brunette he loved the most ; nor did they hear the answering 'I love you' ... but themselves – and God .

There weren't time for gifts or candlelit dinners for that Christmas ... but that moment alone ... it was enough . Just enough for both of them .

**                                                            † † †**

[***] This is the old version he was listening to , the one with male vocals !

**REDEMPTION_MOON :** I KNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW ! T_____T;;;; I promised to end this last new year's ! _*readers mumble and grumble 'some people never change ... get a new year's resolution for crying out loud !*_ I had desperately wanted to end this last new year's too ! I was eager to start my BxKxB/SxKxS fic (or maybe 'resume' since I posted chapter 1) but … well remember Whisper Reilman saying something about a 'Series of Unfortunate Events' by Lemony – uh – something happening to Schuldich ? Well if this was his version , my new year's was the beginning of my own . First FF.net adamantly refused by entry then everything started to happen at once , like my finals , a barrage of projects one on top of the other , varsity training , applications , college exams ... generally , life just wanted to be a bitch . So I was on an enforced hold until today , but even now I'm still cramming right and left . Thank goodness I left with a pretty good impression last chapter ! (or else I don't know what horrible things could have happened to me) O……..O;;; _*aherm*_ Anyway . Well , I'm not satisfied with this chapter . It's only a quiet supplication to help you forgive and forget about my misdemeanors and broken promises (of not posting for almost a month – whoa ! Almost a MONTH !). _*sighs*_ Gosh , I'm so miserable right now , the only light I can look towards it is that I passed two of the three colleges I applied to , and I'm still waiting for the results of the third one to come out . Hopefully , I'll pass that one too (it's the one I like the best) . _*grumbles while chasing away crummy physics and trigonometry professors with a stick*_ Okay . 

Back to business ... sort of . 

Just a piece of trivia – in case anyone was wondering (although I don't see any reason why anyone'd be wondering about it anyway) , I listen to my mp3s one song at a time and loop the same song over and over again until I tire of it – so no , I didn't write these paragraphs in roughly five minutes it takes the song to end . I have more distractions than that . ^____~

P.S. 

If you're mad about my crappy updating , flame me ! I don't mind ; you guys have the right to vent you're 'anger' towards me right ?! ^____~ 

**                                                                   † † †**

**Misura**** :** Just part ? _*pouts*_ I'd say I had a bigger part than Yohji ! _*kicks him*_ But I didn't have anything much to gain , did I ? _*LOL__ About 'hurray for T* Arigatou !_

**Chahiya**** :** Whoa . That's a lot of adjectives you're firing at me . O____O But I guess you meant all those in a good way . ^__^ Hmmm … you're pondering , huh ? Maybe I should kill Yohji or Nagi off just for fun ... you know , for a crazy plot twist to get everyone of their seats ... . what ?! YOU guys suggested it !!!! 

**Brizey**** :** ^____^ Arigatou a lot !!! 

**plutoniankk**** :** Hello there ! Welcome to my insanity ! I'm glad to see a new face around here . ^______^ 

**Ketty**** :** ^___^ Hope you're still enjoying the ride , though I can't say much for myself . _*twiddles with fingers*_

**Schu :** I suppose you're right ... Uhm ... well he hasn't got a brain damage or anything – although - _*gets another idea*_ if you really want to prolong this fic _*jumps excitedly*_ he could always – and Schuldich could – and he'd – and yeah  he'd go – skfj ldsifjoiuposgupiut oieuoigufo ifjglkfdjg udoiuytoiyu kxjglkjf lkj kjldkjgspz spoufspouuetu uldjf lmfdmfpjfj ... 

Schu : O_____O;;;

R_M : _*still spouting unintelligible words*_ fdlksj jait poigporiyt pjflvkmc mxfldkjg putrudpodsf jcmvlkjglfdkjgl skdjflkjdshtkrhk jhsauejfsjf jdnvcnvkfjhgads _*takes a deep breath*_ Sorry . I got carried away .

Schu : O____________O;; _*nodnod*_

**KyraEnsui**** :** ^______^ I'm glad . Just turned 17 myself (I'm young for my class). ^____^ I could send you a belated birthday gift of Kleenex packs ... although I'm not sure I can even afford that right now ... like most teenaged girls , I'm flat broke . \V **. **V/ So much for happy birthday , Redemption . T____T

**Mistress of Darkness1 :** Really ? I'd never heard that saying before ... maybe . _*enigmatic smile*_ Arigatou for saying that !

**Anna Hibiki :** You hated him at first ? Well , I hated him forever . Aya ? Well , I like Aya a helluva lot better than 'The Brat'  _*snickers*_ Whoever thought of him and his crazy pair of shorts must be suicidal ... _*goes away , laughing maniacally*_ Arigatou !

**Dark Demigoddes :** _*LOL*_ Then I'd say I was pretty effective , ne ? You're right , even I aren't THAT 'horribly wicked' ... and no , you're not alone ... no anime-related presents for me this year too ... in fact , the gifts generally ... well ... disappointed ... but it's the thought that counts , right ? **.** ;;

**Zeto**** :** *_LOL... counts grey hairs*_ Oooooh , pocky ! Happy ending ? _*grinz*_

**Manx16** :Wow thank you ! That's really big for me ! ^_____^ _*ish happy*_ It did ! Whooopeee ! Really ?!! _*wags tail*_ I even fooled myself too – for once . Maybe I should be a doctor ... NOT ! ^___^ I hate blood . They smell bad . Arigatou , arigatou , arigatou ! I can't thank you enough for saying that . I'm glad everyone's just completely (right?) satisfied with the last chapter and I'd hope you guys' interest won't wane till the very end . _*LOL at Takatori and screaming and Ken being dead because of him*_ Ugh ... at this rate , there'd be about three more chapters to go ... but then again , I'd given up promising because I only end up breaking them ! T___T _*still grumbling*_ stupid school ...

**Jenken**** :** Oh ! I'm so sorry to hear that . As a matter of fact I was wondering why you decided to drop your previously enthusiastic support – now I know why . Thank you so much for trying to review , despite what you might think , the effort pleases me very much and I can't thank you enough for being such a great reader to me . I've always seen you around reviewing my stuff so I can't say you've been neglecting me or anything , in fact it's quite the opposite . So for all the fervent encouragement , I thank you and am hoping that FF.net won't continue on being a b*i*c* for you and I still  hope to see you around . I meant all of that too . ^____^ Thank you for all the compliments , they made my day . ^___________________~ 

**REDEMPTION_MOON : **I was about to thank those guys who put me on their author alert list ... some names not quite familiar . I can't thank you one by one right now , but you guys know who you are ; and though some don't exactly review , it's good to know that people actually stay alert for my updates . I'm honored . Thank you . Again , you know who you are . 


	28. Dreaming of a white Christmas

The short ride home , back to Schuldich's flat was filled with a comfortable silence . Both were lost in their own thoughts , neither knew what the other was thinking . 

It seemed as if Schuldich couldn't bear the thought of letting Ken go , and the brunette in turn , was too lost in his own thoughts to notice Schuldich's fingers fluttering once in a while to touch Ken's cold hands as if trying to assure himself that the brunette seated at the passenger seat of his car wasn't at all an illusion . 

Schuldich escorted Ken into the building , his jacket draped protectively around the brunette's frail body as he ushered the younger boy through the lavish corridors ; and they resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow to the rather overly done decorations in preparation for Christmas . It seemed unusual considering that last year's were merely mistletoe over the double glass doors and a *tiny* blinking Christmas tree on top of the reception desk . 

" Good morning , Mr. Schuldich , Mr. Hidaka ." The manager grinned up at them with his mustache tweaked upwards , his teeth bared into what both men thought was a menacing predatory grimace . They shared glances before offering the man identical measured and forced grins . " Hello ." Ken managed to grit through his teeth , his eyes darting nervously , thinking that the man looked like he was longing to devour him right then and there . 

" I'm afraid you'll have to wait several minutes before you could return to your place , there are some repairs to be done on a leaky sink so I've been told ." Another flash of those shark's teeth . 

Ken repressed a shudder as he leaned against Schuldich's shoulder . Damn ! He'd been counting on getting to Schuldich's flat – he was dead tired although he tried to hide it from Schuldich and some sleep would have been more than very welcome . He gulped down a yawn and rested his head quietly on Schuldich shoulder . Schuldich would deal with him ... he'd ... 

Ken closed his eyes and just rested his head against Schuldich's shoulder. He felt safe now, this moment, as Schuldich wrapped his arm around his waist. 

Schuldich felt the pressure on his shoulder and saw that Ken was half asleep , for the first time , he noticed the dark rings under Ken's eyes . 

His medication probably made it impossible to sleep or eat for that matter . 

Sighing , he gently picked Ken up in his arms , marveling at how light he was. Ken was now sleeping peacefully , his pale cheek brushing on Schuldich's shoulders and his weak breath blowing against his neck . 

Smiling tenderly , Schuldich made his way to the elevator , ignoring the manager's violent protests . 

Screw him , Ken was going to get some rest on a comfortable bed . The people who made any noise will be kicked out into the street – from the penthouse . 

" Sir ! Sir ! The workmen will be out within a few more minutes ! Please have patience !" 

Schuldich shot him a glare that could melt the biggest iceberg in Antarctica and the man cringed , looking singed . 

Schuldich turned and walked into the empty elevator , his eyes gazing tenderly at the sleeping figure cradled in his arms . 

_Welcome home , Ken ._ He smiled as he nudged the apartment door open and stepped into what should be their home together for quite a while . 

To say that he was surprised was an understatement . He almost didn't recognize his apartment from all the glamorous decorations . The workmen were already packing up their things and they tipped their hats to Schuldich who was standing there without uttering a single word . 

Suddenly , it registered in his mind who the mastermind of this all was – Yohji . 

Grinning , he tucked Ken into bed and proceeded to call the blond on his cellular . 

" Hey !" He could hear the sounds of music on Yohji's side of the line .

" Yeah , oh , Schul ! Sup ?" 

" Thanks man ." 

" Eh ?" 

" The stuff you sent here ?" 

" Oh ..." There was recognition in Yohji's voice . " Yeah . Uh – by the way Schu , I had something prepared for the kid on the twenty-eighth if he's feeling fine . Remember the soccer ad I was asking you to do eons ago ? Well , they were the sponsors of this J-League team and I pulled some strings so you could get the kid to goof around with them during their practice at the stadium . I also ordered something from my favorite French restaurant . It should be there around dinner time ." Yohji sounded harried and he could snatch the faint stains of female laughter in the background . So Yohji was working his magic once more . Now THAT didn't surprise him in the least . 

" Listen , Schul . I gotta go . Busy busy ." There was a hint of womanizing malice in his quipping tone . 

" ... Thanks Yohj ... I appreciate it ." Schuldich voice caught as he watched the snowflakes gliding gently down into the busy street below . It was strange , he felt warm and cold at the same time , just hearing Ken's shallow breathing on the bed . 

" Hey , forget about it man ! That's what guys like me are here for ! So why don't you have fun , drink wine , eat up and get screwed , right ?" 

Schuldich shook his head almost incredulously , his throat rumbling with a low chuckle . Some things never change . He chose to ignore the last suggestion and said . " Merry Christmas man . Ken'll love to hear about that ." 

" Yeah . Tell him you arranged it . I know you deserve a lot of credit too – and don't expect anything from me this Christmas !" Yohji quipped , almost as an afterthought before hanging up. 

It looked like he was very busy at the moment. 

Smiling, Schuldich glanced at the bed and saw that Ken was still dozing, his arm wrapped lightly around a large pillow like a sleeping child. 

Schuldich tossed his jacket off and turned up the heater before walking to the kitchen to scavenge for some lunch while Ken was still asleep. 

Just last year, he was the life of the party and he had preferred to be out on some club with Yohji and a few ladies having fun – but all that had changed and strangely enough – he was more contented with spending a quiet evening alone with Ken than with anything and everything else that had happened in his life. 

For no explicable reason, he seemed to have turned nostalgic to himself. 

He turned on the radio, which seemed to be spewing all kinds of Christmas songs for the holidays and started to fix something from his loaded freezer.

It seemed like Yohji had also taken the liberty to stock the damn thing overflowing.

He was almost finished, and he was perspiring like hell despite the freezing temperatures outside. He never knew that roasting turkey was such damned business!

And tossing salad was such hard stuff. 

He never was one for much cooking but the cookbook had made it look so easy and since Yohji had already provided the means, he had thought, why the hell not? 

But three hours later, he was huffing that it better be worth the effort damnit! 

He was hungry, his stomach was growling like crazy and it was way past lunchtime, but he wasn't giving up damnit! Especially since the damn thing was smelling good too!

Hm, maybe he had a future career if he quit photography. 

Grinning to himself, he tasted the gravy and puffed out his chest proudly when he realized that it actually tasted great. 

He knew he was looking like an idiot all smiling to himself and humming and clattering around with the endearingly peculiar apron with a cooking rabbit with the same apron in front that Ken had left eons ago, but he didn't give a shit. 

After ages and ages, he was finally happy. 

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_Just like the ones I used to know._

_Where the treetops glisten,_

_And children listen_

_To hear sleigh bells in the snow._

Irving Berlin on the radio seemed to be blissfully crooning the particular Christmas song that always, always managed to make him just a tad bit wistful during Christmastime.

Suddenly, Irving Berlin was singing a duet, and Schuldich turned round just to see Ken emerge from the bedroom singing the song softly under his breath. 

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_With every Christmas card I write._

_May your days be merry and bright._

_And may all your Christmases be white_

He didn't know that Ken knew how to sing. The boy was surprising him all the time. 

" Hey there ." Ken was smiling at him with all his sleepy glory. 

" Hey yourself ." Schuldich laughed and wagged the spatula back and forth. 

" Looks like a some kind of mall in here . Don't you think you went a little overboard with the decorations ? – Not that I'm complaining ." 

" This was all Yohji's idea, don't blame me." 

Ken yawned and hugged the taller man around his waist and they stood there swaying gently to the music as Ken hummed along. 

They said that the best things in life are free .

Schuldich knew it happened to be. 

                                                               † † †

**REDEMPTION_MOON : **My goodness !!! It's been EONS since I last updated ! [January 22, 2004 – and it's now March 12, 2004] Nearly two months ! It's just shy of ten days ! O___________________O;;  Normally it has never taken me this long to update ! Wow ! I feel so bad ! But it's okay I think coz most of you thought that last chapter was THE last chapter, which it isn't obviously. I have still a couple or so chapters up my sleeve but it's mostly sappy fluffy gore. So there you go. 

**Schu :** You forgave me for the month ? _*blink blink puppy eyes*_ Can you forgive me for the TWO months ? ^____^ I thought Nurse Makoto was cute too. ^___~ And Ken seems to have developed some neurotic unintelligible language. My goodness ! If you only knew how this past two months have been for me ... I tell you ... they've been HELL . Even now, I still haven't finished all the school requirements. T_____T

**KyraEnsui**** :** _*sniffles*_ Can you give me some of those ? I think I'm developing a cold. _*ish huggled*_ O____O;; Can't ... breathe ... _*turns blue ...*_ Ugh ... _*dies*_

R_M : ß--- _*ish dead*_

Kyra : What did I do ?

**Manx16 :** ^___^ really ? Yes , school is definitely EVIL . It is the spawn of the DEVIL !!! _*Principal in her office suddenly goes : MWAHAHAHAHA !!!! for no apparent reason*_ Well , Schuldich is doing many things right now that I couldn't imagine him doing until I started to write it... but , well . Bweehee... Thanks, I hope it won't be evil to me anymore too ... but ... fat chance. Life hates me. _*Kicks muse*_ I hate him.

**Misura**** :** You're welcome. My goodness. I've been having really big trouble writing this chapter. It's just that I have something in mind to write, and this one was just turning out to be a nuisance for me since I was so eager to write the next one. But I'm glad this one's over. That just means I can move on ! Wooohoooo !

**xXLil**** Yu JahXx :** Nope, not yet ! ^____^  Just a few more to go. It'll end New Year's à Their time. And I mean Schuldich's and Ken's new year's , not ours. ^___~ But why is that funny ? Ken going to cardiac arrest ?  Share! I want to know why ! 

Ken : Didn't anybody ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat ?

R_M : Nope.  Comeonnnnn please ? 

Ken : _*kicks RM*_ It's better you don't find out. You're just gonna embarrass me. 

R_M : _*sticks out tongue*_

**Kowareta****-kana** **:** Point taken . _*nods and scribbles down on a notepad*_ Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn't have killed Aya in a car crash ... Maybe he should've died in a plane crash !

Readers : _*facevaults*_ --à _*Mutter mutter*_  She IS clueless

**Dark Demigoddes :** Arigatou ! Arigatou ! ^___^ I'm so glad ! I think I've already gotten a flame or two , and I don't mind. They make me happy all the same ! ^____^ ARIGATOOOOUUUU ! _*glomps you*_

**Anna Hibiki :** Thanks so much !!! ^___~

**Zeto**** :** _*LOL*_ The 'Aya Incident' seems to be proving itself to be my biggest faux pas since no one seems to be able to forgive me for it. Ooooh. Maybe I could make a product that can make grey hair vanish ! It'll read : 'Specifically created for fan fic readers of authors with Mad Writer Syndrome' _*LOL*_ I like it ! 

**Schu-chan** **:** _*facevaults*_ _*twiddles with thumbs , pouting*_ You were seriously contemplating on killing me ? T___________________T ;;; Bwaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ! _*runs away*_

**Mikel**** Abel :** _*LOL*_ Mention about Aya's death again . ^____^ Arigatou ! 

**Whisper_Reilman**** :** Weeeeeellll ... I'm thinking of revamping 'Cry of the Captive' and resuming 'Moonbeams in Your Smile' Hopefully I'll be able to do that soon. So there. I guess the 'don't kill Ken' thingy was especially for you. _*LOL*_ Thank you sooooo much (although this still isn't the ending yet)

**Luna :** I'm glad you liked this insane world of mine ! ^___^ I'm so happy to see a new face around. FIVE TIMES ????!!!! _*asks around*_ Did I do that to you guys that often ?

Everyone : _*nodnod*_ You did . _*point to one reader lying motionlessly on the ground*_ You even killed one of us. 

Dead reader : _*rises , looking all zombie-like*_ I am Aya spirit, and I've come to haunt you from my grave. 

R_M : Ummmm ... well , I guess it shouldn't be for the faint of heart ? _*smiles sweetly before starting to run away, with zombie reader-Aya chasing after her*_

O___________O ;;; _*ish threatened*_ _*runs away with keyboard*_


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